Page 93 of Shallow

The hope in Shiloh’s face almost killed me. When she first came back to town, all I wanted to do was ruin her. Now, all I want to do is love her. Because I do. I fucking love her, but I know she’ll walk away from me when I tell her the truth. The truth of how I stole from her and conspired with Taryn to ruin herlife.

Because no one can forgive a double betrayal likethat.

Yeah, I know she screwed me over years ago, but this is different. My sins took planning and thought. It’s hard to come back from that. The thing is, she has the power to retaliate in a much worse way than Idid.

Shiloh can shutdown.

Running away to California isn’t possible without defying her court order, but she can put a wall between us. I’m no pussy, but being forced to see her every day without being able to touch her will killme.

The thought agitates me to the point of wanting to get back into the car and head to Martial Law, so I hurry to the office door. The repetitive chime I’ve always hated signals my presence, and my mom’s dark hair pops up from behind the desk. She’s all smiles as if they aren’t one more late payment away frombankruptcy.

I’m not sure if she’ll be relieved or shit a brick when she finds out what Shiloh’sdone.

The minute she sees me, her smile gets even bigger. “Carrick!” Running around the corner of the desk, she wraps her arms around my neck and hugs me like she hasn’t seen me in months. “You didn’t tell me you were droppingby!”

I never do, but that’s beside the point. “I was in theneighborhood.”

Total lie, but she doesn’t have to knowthat.

She looks tired. Her youthful face has aged since I got them involved with the McDaniels. She’s wearing jeans and a Castaway Sands logo t-shirt, but it’s untucked and stained on the pocket. My mother is meticulous about cleanliness and order. I may not have grown up with money, but Mom was adamant that we always take pride in what we had. That’s how I know how bad things have gotten forthem.

“When’s the last time you slept,Mom?”

She raises an eyebrow in that mother way that makes you feel like you just got caught sneaking liquor out of the house. “Well, you sure know how to make a girl feel special,huh?”

“You know what I mean,” I groan, leaning my elbows on the desk as a pounding sound shakes the ceiling above my head. “I can tell you’ve been working too much.” The pounding gets louder and I nod my chin upward. “Hey, what’s that sound, and where’sDad?”

She sighs and rolls her eyes. “Room309.”

“Again?”

Room 309 has been a pain in our asses for years. If it’s not the plumbing, it’s the electrical wiring, or the appliances, or a damn insect infestation. I’d swear the room is cursed if I believed in that kind ofshit.

“Yep. Pipe burst in the bathroom and flooded the whole thing. He’s been up there for hours trying to save as much as hecan.”

“JesusChrist.”

“Watch your mouth,” she warns, pointing a finger at me. “I don’t like thattalk.”

She’s not kidding. I can still taste soap from that time in seventh grade when she washed my mouth out for calling my teacher abitch.

“Well, that makes what I have to tell you even moretimely.”

Pressing her palms toward me, she shakes her head and starts backing up. “No more bad news, Carrick. I don’t think my heart can takeit.”

“No bad news, Mom,” I promise, reaching for her hand and pulling her back. “You don’t have to worry about the motel anymore. The debt is gone.” I wait for a scream, maybe even smile of appreciation. What I get are narrowed eyes and pursedlips.

“What do you mean,gone?”

“It’s paid off. You have a cleanslate.”

Cleanslate.

My choice of words isn’t lost onme.

Finally, her eyes widen and her hands cover her mouth in shock. “Are you kidding me? Oh my goodness, Carrick, I can’t believe that…” Her voice trails off as suspicion clouds her eyes. “This is her doing, isn’tit?”

Shit.