Page 24 of Shallow

Glancing out the window, she suddenly turns back with excitement. “What about that nice young man who called before you got home? He wanted to introduce himself to me and check to see how your day went. Let’s see, I think his name was Waltersomething…”

My head swivels around as she taps her finger against the corner of her mouth. “WilliamEmerson?”

Always ready to marry me off to any man with a nice smile and a fat wallet, my mother’s eyebrows lift in hopeful expectation as her pupils dilate from the Xanax. “Yes! That’s it! William. Oh, he did sound like a lovely man. Is his face as handsome as his voice? Who are hispeople?”

I groan. Rich Southerners always worry about who your “people” are. Who you’re related to. Who you’re connected to. Who can set their daughter up in a lifestyle she became accustomed to before falling flat on herass.

“He has no people here, Mother. He’s fromMissouri.”

“That doesn’t mean he’s not connected, darling.” Patting my arm, she slightly wobbles, the effect of the downer hitting her. “Warren Buffet is a Midwesterner. Did you knowthat?”

No, actually, I didn’t know that. And to be honest, I’m shocked shedoes.

Who is this woman, and what has she done with mymother?

Hmmm. Weed makes people philosophical. Maybe Xanax makes my mothersmart.

“Will Emerson is my probation officer.” I slide over as she slides in beside me. “I think sleeping with him is a one-way ticket back tojail.”

“I’m just saying,” she slurs, her eyelids heavy. “You could do worsethings.”

“I alreadyhave.”

Which is the entire reason I’m here in the first place, having a conversation about jumping my probation officer with my boozed-upmother.

Yeah, I know, way to cast stones,Shiloh.

However, even if it weren’t taboo to get it on with Will, there isn’t room in my head for him—not with every available nook and cranny being slam packed with Cary’s sinfully distracting body. Even the way he ordered me around today like I was nothing more than gum stuck to the bottom of his shoe got megoing.

What does that say aboutme?

I’ve never been a doormat for men. I’ve been the alpha in all my relationships. I love them and leave them, and if they don’t like it, then fuck ’em. There’s always another one ready and willing to take theirplace.

But the way sweet, docile Cary snarled at me with a look of pure disgust in his eyes lit a fuse in my belly that’s still simmering. Even when he called me the one name that ripped a hole in my heart, I still can’t douse theflame.

Yep, there’s definitely something wrong withme.

“Mother?”

“Hmmmm?” Popping one eye open, she tilts her head back and stares atme.

“Am I so irredeemable that people are done with me?” I don’t want to know the answer, but Cary’s words are hauntingme.

She’s quiet for a long time and then a smile tips the corner of her mouth. “The only ones who can’t be redeemed, darling, are the ones who don’t want to be. As for other people, well, it’s usually those we hurt the most who are the last to believe we’re worthy of a secondchance.”

My mouth hangs open as she gives me a smug littlewink.

The air in my bedroom suddenly feels thick and heavy. Pushing off the bed, I cover my mother with a blanket and head for the door. Although it’s almost midnight, I need to walk on the beach and clear myhead.

As I open the door, my mother’s garbled voice calls out behind me. “Shiloh?”

“Yeah?”

“You cost him everything and walked away from it losing nothing. Whatever he is now, it was created, notdeveloped.”

My heart slams against my chest as the door slams behindme.

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