Page 113 of Shallow

Bending his knees, he gives one hard thrust and I scream. He’s too big to take all at once and I’m not ready for him. My body revolts, clamping down and denying him any furtheraccess.

“Let me in, Shiloh,” he groans. Pulling out slightly, he pushes the rest of the way in, forcing my body to accepthim.

I’m in shock, unable to speak or even breathe as he delivers a series of thrusts that leave me panting. Just as he promised, every stroke is brutal. Every drive is as fucked up as weare.

“Cary…” I finally managesay.

“Do you know why I didn’t let you come before, Starshine?” he growls as he changes his angle, pumping so that the metal ball of his piercing rubs against my sensitive walls. “Because if we can’t say the words, we’re gonna fucking feelthem.”

His words are my undoing. I scream his name until I’m hoarse, bursts of light blinding me as my body splinters and breaks. At the same time, I’m gasping for air, his body jerks, and he buries his face in the hollow of my neck, growling as he empties himself insideme.

We’re both quiet as the air in the room thickens with the smell of sex and regret. Cary finally slides his chin down from my neck and lowers me to my feet. We stand there in an extremely uncomfortable silence, me shoving my nightgown down my legs as the evidence of what we’ve just done drips down the inside of my thigh. However, Cary could give a shit. He just stands there with his semi-hard dick hanging out like this isn’t awkward atall.

When he makes no move to say anything, I know it’s up to me to be theadult.

Sighing, I walk over to a small closet in the corner of the room and pull out two huge beach towels. Handing one to Cary, I wrap the other tightly around my body, an unspoken symbol of what I’m about tosay.

“This can never happen again, Cary. We’re poison to each other. Don’t you seethat?”

He pauses in the middle of zipping his pants. “Poison? Is that what you call what we justdid?”

“No. I call itgoodbye.”

Thirty-Nine

Cary

I’m notsure I hear her right. “What the hell do you mean,goodbye?”

She hugs the beach towel around her chest, tugging on a loose thread at the top. “Come on, Cary, don’t make me dothis.”

Although the room is dark, there’s a dim glow coming from the security light attached to the main house. Through the shadows, I can make out the sturdy wooden table backed up against the far wall with the square-shaped mirror hanging above it. It’s the room that time forgot, and the one Ican’t.

“Don’t make you what?” I demand, finishing zipping up my jeans as I shift my focus back to her. “Stay and for once in your life answer for what you’re doing instead of firing a gun and walkingaway?”

Yeah, that was harsh, but I’m not in the mood to sugar coatshit.

“You’re just trying to hurt menow.”

“Jesus, Shiloh, do you think we made love here of all places on accident?” I swing an arm out, gesturing all aroundus.

“We fucked, Cary,” she insists, her voice monotone. “We got carried away. It meansnothing.”

I can tell she’s trying to keep her face blank, but for the first time, I notice something I’ve never seen before. As her hands clench the towel, she crosses and uncrosses her index and middle fingers on both hands so slightly that if I hadn’t been focused on her, I would’ve have seen it. Back and forth. Over and under. It’s distracting as hell, and I’m about to tell her to knock it off when it hitsme.

It’s Shiloh’s tell. I just had to wait until her walls broke down enough to see when she’slying.

“That’s bullshit, and you know it.” I take a few steps closer, my discovery strengthening my resolve. “You told me outside that what I do to you scares you to death. That’s nothing compared to what you’ve done tome.”

Agitated, she releases one hand from the towel to brush away handful of the wet hair plastered to her forehead. “Me? Cary, I just got home from four days behind bars. What the hell haveIdone to you scareyou?”

Two more steps and I’m right in front of her. “You made me love you all over again, and now you’re throwing it all away.” I’m yelling now, but I don’t give a damn. I’m way past dancing around this with her. “You’re not scared of me. You’re scared of giving up enough control to let me in. Damn it, Shiloh, how many times are you going to rob me of myfuture?”

“Future?”

Is she serious? How can she notknow?

“You, Shy,” I tell her, risking everything. “It’s always beenyou.”