Page 121 of Shallow

“Are you sure you don’t want me to come withyou?”

“No,” I say, rolling the stem of the rose around between my fingers. “I need to do thisalone.”

Slamming the car door, I weave my way through the plaques until I find the one I’m looking for. The moment I see her first name, something crushes through the wall of my chest and squeezes my heart until it bleeds. Falling to my knees, I slowly trace the letters of her name, swirling the D at the end of her name just like she used to do when she’d signautographs.

“Hey, Kirk.” I’m not sure why I’m whispering, but it seems appropriate. “Long time no speak. I’d say you’re probably wondering why it’s taken me this long to visit you, but since you’re up there seeing everything, I guess you alreadyknow.”

A young couple walks by hand in hand, and I pause our conversation, pressing my lips against my knee until they pass. Once we’re alone again, I take a deep breath andcontinue.

“I’ve never apologized to you for putting you in danger that night. I guess none of that matters now. I can’t change the past. All I can do is change me, but I’m also making sure the world never forgets you. I’m in the process of creating a scholarship in your name at your old high school in Chicago. Now you’ll have two legacies that will liveforever.”

I glance down at my clenched fist and realize the once perfectly shaped rose is now wilted under the constant stream of my tears. Sighing, I place it under her name. “I brought you something. It’s yellow…your favorite. Don’t tell anyone, but I lifted it from the flowerbed at the entrance of the park.” Somewhere in the back of my mind, I hear Kirkland laugh, and I smile. “Don’t even act like you’reshocked.”

My pocket chimes and, pulling out my phone, I note the time and sigh. “I have to go, Kirk. I have a big meeting and a lot of decisions to make, but I promise I’ll be back.” Climbing to my feet, I blow her a kiss before making my way back to thecar.

* * *

My knees are bouncingin the backseat of the limo as I stare up the enormous glass building, and the small lump in my throat triples in size. I lock eyes with Lena’s driver in the rearview mirror and he starts to say something just as my phone chimes with an incoming text. I dig through my purse and my heart seizes when I see who it’sfrom.

CARY:You’re sitting in the surgeon’s parking lot, aren’tyou?

I have no idea what to say, so I type back oneword.

ME:No.

CARY:Shiloh…

Unnerved, I shift in my seat, glancing around the parking lot for a taxi with familiar, unruly dark hair sticking out the back window. Finding nothing, I quickly type myresponse.

ME:How could you possibly knowthat?

I wait, but he doesn’t answer. I’m about to drop my phone back in my purse when the text alert chimes again. This time, it’s not a text. All he’s sent is a link. My first instinct is to ignore it, but I can’t. My thumb is pressing on the URL before I can stopmyself.

I’m immediately taken to a YouTube channel and the video for Alessia Cara’sScars To Your Beautifulpops up. The phone tightens in my hand as women of all shapes, colors, and imperfections flash in between Cara’s soulfullyrics.

I don’t know I’m crying until tears hit my screen, splattering the faces on the video and rolling off the side of myphone.

Damn him for doing this to me right now. I’m right here. I’ve met with the agency execs. I’ve got the paperwork sitting right beside me, ready for my signature. All that’s left is for me to walk in for my consultation and schedule the procedure that will put me back ontop.

Everything I’ve ever wanted will be mineagain.

Damnhim.

Throwing my phone in the floorboard of the limo, I step outside and slam the door to the past as the haunting melody of the song still plays behind the tintedwindow.

Forty-Four

Cary

Half an hourafter closing the center for the night, Frankie throws a right hook that, thankfully, I’m able to block at the lastminute.

“Still haven’t learned how to swing, have you, junior?” I smirk, knowing the nickname still gets under hisskin.

“Still haven’t learned not to talk shit, huh, Carrick?” he shoots back, not even bothering to protect hisface.

My focus is shit, and I’m pissed. I should’ve seen that hook coming a mile away. He never should’ve gotten that close to hitting me. Hell, Frankie should’ve been flat on his ass ten minutesago.

Planting my feet, I mutter a curse and rip the tape off my hands. It’s not just today. I haven’t been able to focus for two weeks. Everything reminds me of her and it’s slowly driving me out of mymind.