Page 109 of Shallow

I was hoping to be able to do this in person, but I’ll just have to try to explain myself as best I can and hope you understand why I did what Idid.

First of all, don’t worry about Taryn. I’ll never corroborate her story. I didn’t keep my mouth shut for seven years to break my silencenow.

Next, stealing the money is inexcusable. I don’t expect you to ever understand why I did it because I don’t even understand. I was desperate. I didn’t tell you because I was trying to find a way to return it, so I didn’t have to admit to being a thief. Stupid,huh?

However, my biggest regret is not telling you what Taryn and I had planned when you came back to town. The truth is, I was ashamed. For seven years, I blamed you for everything that was wrong in my life and dreamed about the day I’d make you pay for it. But when you came back to town, my head got all mixed up. Taryn saw an opportunity to settle a score with you and fed into the shit going on in my head. I treated you badly, and I can’t take that back. But I promise that once I found out how far she was willing to take it, Ibailed.

Do you know why? Because I fell in love with you all over again. I don’t know what power you have over me, but I’ve gone from loving you to hating you, back to loving you. I meant it when I called you mine. You are mine, Shiloh. No matter what you tell yourself, no other man will ever have all of you. Because it’s mine. It always willbe.

If you still never want to speak to me again, I’ll make Frankie your contact at the center and I’ll stay out of your way. But we all make mistakes, Shy. We all ask for forgiveness. Some of us are lucky enough to get it. You were. Maybe I’ll betoo.

Love,

Cary

His name smearsas two tears roll down my cheeks and hit his signature. Letting out a shaky breath, I ball up the letter and bang on the door until itopens.

* * *

“Are you ready, darling?”Bianca touches my arm, and I smile. The gesture reminds me of a similar moment ten months ago when she stood beside me outside a Los Angeles County courtroom. Only then, I cringed at her touch, rolling my eyes at her attempt to play the doting mother for the cameras. Now, there’s a closeness between us that radiates from her face. It’s warm—genuineeven.

Bianca West is proof that people can change. Maybe that means there’s hope forme.

“Yeah,” I breathe, nodding and straightening my dress. I notice it’s white, and I almost laugh. I wonder if she brought me the same virginal dress she made me wear during my trial on purpose. Back then she insisted white emphasized myinnocence.

I wonder what it emphasizesnow.

We stand between Will and a few armed police officers in front of the front door of the building. After four days, on the other side of that glass stands my freedom, along with a mob of angry protestors and news vans and paparazzi cameras as far as the eye can see. A small part of me wonders if the safety of a jail cell is better than trying to maneuver my way through them with my limbsintact.

As the guard in front of us opens the door, I take one step toward freedom and right into a hard chest. “Go away,” I whisper, my hands pressed flat againsthim.

He places his hands over the top of mine, holding me in place. “You’re not going out there until you talk tome.”

An officer steps forward, his hand on his gun. “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to let the ladygo.”

Cary’s eyes never leave mine. “Not on yourlife.”

“Cary…” Willwarns.

“Stay out of this, Will. This is between Shiloh andme.”

“Take a look around you, man,” Will says, gesturing to the multitude of armed police officers. “If you don’t listen, this is going to be between you and the Myrtle Beach PoliceDepartment.”

Cary’s quiet for a moment, then presses harder against my hands. “I gave you two years, Shiloh. Can you give me twominutes?”

As much as I want to scream at him, his words stab me. I can’t fight them. He’s right. “Fine. You have twominutes.”

“Can we go somewhereprivate?”

“I’m Shiloh West.” I smirk. “Nothing I do isprivate.”

He rolls his eyes. “Come on,Shy…”

“One minute thirtyseconds.”

He curses under his breath. “Will says he gave you my letter. Did you readit.”

“Idid.”