Page 44 of Shallow

“Will, I felt guilty. I’ve never felt guilty in mylife.”

“Well, it’s not meant to be a party. What do you feel guiltyabout?”

Shiloh just sighs. “I’d better get back. He’ll be mad that I’ve been gone this long. Thanks for the talk—and for being afriend.”

Shit!

I have seconds to hide, otherwise, I’m busted. Creeping backward into the darkened opening of the empty bathroom, I press my back against the insidewall.

One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven.Eight.

I count the click of her heels as she walks away, waiting until they grow faint and finally disappear before slipping back into the hallway and into hisoffice.

“That washeartwarming.”

Will raises his head, and gives me an unimpressed stare. From his underwhelming reaction to my presence, I have the distinct feeling he’s not surprised to see me. “Adding eavesdropping to your list of offenses,Cary?”

Nice. The best defense is a good offense. I’mimpressed.

I curl my fingers along the back of a chair and flash him an eat-shit grin. “What were you two talkingabout?”

“You know I can’t discuss probation clients with you. Or the details of theircases.”

I chuckle to myself, locking my elbows as my hold on the chair tightens. The movement brings my hips flush against the backrest, pushing the forgotten pill bottle deep into my thigh. I freeze, my reason for being here suddenly not so cut anddry.

The part of me that’s waited for vindication is certain that turning the pills over to Will would violate her probation. That one act would send her packing, getting her out of my center and out of my life forgood.

“Why did you really come here, Cary?” Will looks up again while scribbling his signature across a stack ofpapers.

However, the other part remembers the defeated look in her eyes in that bathroom. I drop my hand to my pocket, letting it rest against the opening before palming the back of my neck instead. “Just in theneighborhood.”

“Bullshit, you’ve hated coming back here ever since your parole ended.” Tossing the pen on his desk, he stands and shoves the papers in a leather briefcase. “I think you need to stop worrying about what’s going on between Shiloh and me and start figuring out what’s going on between you and her. You say you hate her, but I’ve never wasted as much energy on someone I don’t like as much as you do onShiloh.”

“Are you a parole officer or ashrink?”

“Whatever, man. I’m late for an appointment.” Chuckling, he walks past me and waits for me to follow him before closing and locking thedoor.

After Will walks away, I stand in the hall like a fucking idiot. The last thing I want to admit to myself is that he’s right, but he makes a valid argument. For as much as I claim to hate her, Shiloh is the first thing on my mind when I wake up, the last thing on my mind before I fall asleep, and the constant thing driving me insane every moment inbetween.

I feel her in my veins. She’s poisoned my bloodagain.

Halfway down the hallway, Will stops and turns around. “Hey,Kincaid?”

“Yeah?”

Smirking, he points to the darkened room behind me. “Next time hide in the bathroom the wholetime.”

Fifteen

Shiloh

Sighing,I run my hand along the perimeter of the window in the backseat of Malcolm’s limo, dreading the ride almost as much as the destination. Maybe Cary won’t be there. After what happened last Wednesday, I’m hoping to avoid aconfrontation.

I’m not going to lie; it wasn’t my proudest moment. I never planned on putting one of Bianca’s pills in my mouth—much less a handful. I’m so much stronger than that. I mean, Jesus, I made it through being in jail, for fuck’s sake, how in the hell could I have been soweak?

Easy. I didn’t plan on beingambushed.

Hearing Kelly’s heartbreaking story was bad enough, but walking in and seeing Cary’s parents put me over the edge. An already thin handle on my emotions snapped when I saw his mother. ThenIsnapped, and he came after me, doing the last thing in the world I ever expected himto.