Page 60 of Shallow

“Cary,” she moans, her eyelids fluttering as I increase thepace.

“That’s it, don’t stop,” I growl, my blood rushingthrough my veins at a frenzied speed. Coherent thought goes out the window as I shove my hand under her bra and squeeze herbreast.

Jesus Christ, I’m gonna lose my fucking mind. I’m supposed to be in control, but Shiloh’s jerking me off so hard on her own I don’t know what the hell I’m saying. Incoherent words mixed with curses and moans fill my ears, and I know they’re all coming fromme.

Before I can form another thought, my balls tighten and an electrical shock zigzags across the base of my spine.I’ve lost control. I’m going to come on herterms.

Goddamn it, she did itagain.

As my cock thickens and pulses in her hand, hot anger blazes through me. Opening an eye, I catch the half smile on her face like she owns the fuckingworld.

Not today,sweetheart.

With a guttural growl, I pull her hand off my dick and grip the back of herneck.

“What the hell?” She blinks a few times, knocked out of her lustfultrance.

“This isn’t the Shiloh Show anymore, sweetheart. I decide who’s worth coming for and who’s not. Guess where you fall?” I sound like an asshole, but it’s all I can think of to say. As usual, she’s topped me from thebottom.

Shiloh’s hands slip off the wet shower tile as she inches away.“Stay the hell away from me.” Holding her tattered shirt together, she grabs my towel and runs out of the lockerroom.

Once she’s gone, I pound my fist into the tile, the crack I hear pissing me off even more. I’ll let her calm down, and then I’ll apologize.Not for what I did.I’d do it again, and Iwill.

But for losingcontrol.

Control is everything, and I can’t let her take it from meagain.

Twenty

Shiloh

“Idecidewho’s worth coming for and who’s not. Guess where youfall?”

Cary’s words fill my head as I huddle in the corner of the pool house, crying. I’m not sure why I’m here of all places after what just happened. I suppose it’s almost poetic. Don’t people always return to the scene of theircrime?

I just wanted to make sure he was all right. Damn it, I was trying to do the right thing for once. I never expected to find him naked with everything ondisplay.

I wanted him. God, I wantedhim.

What will happen tomorrow when I walk into the center and have to look him in the eye? I don’t know if I’ll be able to stomach it. What will I evensay?

Although he never said the words, once insecurity takes over, its voice speaks louder than logic. It lies and tells me that Cary pushed me away because of my scar. It’s my penance for a thousand lifetimes. Because the moment a lie is spoken, ugly brands your soul and defines your destinyforever.

* * *

Seven Years Ago

June –Graduation

Most people have themedparties or family vacations for their graduation celebration. Not me. I’m spending graduation night in a private party so exclusive an invitation is harder to get than a seat at theOscars.

Dropping the plastic straw, I notice there’s still white residue littering my square vanity mirror. Before Taryn can reach for it, I lick my finger and swipe it across the dust, rubbing it across mygums.

Waste not, want not. Isn’t that what the poor peoplesay?

“Damn, Shiloh!” she snaps. “Do you have to be so fuckinggreedy?”

“Yes. Also, you drunks are out of vodka.” I lift their last bottle and turn it upside down. Three dribbles fall out as I let it crash to the counter andshatter.