Page 14 of Shallow

He chuckles and ignores the weight of my response in favor of fiddling with the radio. Turning toward the window, I press my forehead against it and let my guilt drag me back to the night that ruinedeverything.

The first night I ruinedhim.

* * *

Seven Years Ago

April –Prom

“Ross,stop being a dick and let me out of this car!” Trying to block him is useless when he pushes me against the door of hisBMW.

“What’s with the virginal act, Shiloh? It’s prom, and your parents aren’t home. You owe me someaction.”

A shadow passes out of the corner of my eye, but I’m too busy fending Ross off to pay attention. “The only action you’ll be getting tonight is with your own hand, asshole.” Shoving an arm behind my back, I fumble around until I find the lock release button. In one click, I’m tumbling backward toward rough concrete and into a pair of stronghands.

I don’t have to turn around to know he’s there. Only this time, anger vibrates off him in waves. “Don’tevertouch heragain.”

Ross grips the dashboard. “Lawn Boy. You just don’t know when to quit, doyou?”

“Looks like you don’t either.” Carrick’s fingers flex around my arms and his normally calm voice rumbles withdefiance.

Ignoring his jab, I force a bored look and stare into the car. “Go home and sleep it off, Ross.” I know it’s dangerous for him to drive, but it’s more dangerous to have him nearme.

“Are you taking this shitbag’s side over mine?” Ross’s brown eyes blaze, and I know the double meaning of his statement. The next words out of my mouth will define the remaining month of school forme.

Fold or follow. That’s my choice. And once again, I chooseme.

Wrenching out of Carrick’s arms, I wipe the back of my hand across my drenched face. “No. I’m choosing my side. Call me when you’ve soberedup.”

Slamming the car door, I realize too late I’ve forgotten my key. With a muffled curse, I stomp toward the back door as Ross drives away while yelling at both of us to go fuck ourselves. As if triggered by my mood, the heavens open up and the rain turns into adownpour.

Long legs move quickly behind me. “Shiloh.”

“Leave me alone,Carrick.”

“What the hell just happened withhim?”

“Nothing.”

“That wasn’t nothing,” he insists, appearing by my side as I gather my ruined dress in my hands and hike it up my legs. “What would you have done if I hadn’t beenthere?”

“Handled it.” Throwing my high heels over the white wooden fence, I climb up and straddle the top before swinging my other leg over. My dress snags on a jagged post, and I hear the material rip the minute my feet hit the grass. I should be more upset, but at this point I just want the damn thingoff.

Shitty reminder of a shittynight.

Carrick is up and over the fence with graceful agility before I can stomp away. The heavy layers of tulle slow me down, and he grabs my arm again before I reach thehouse.

“Did he hurtyou?”

“I can handle myself,” I yell, breaking out of his hold and making my way toward the back door. Irritated with the whole night, I dig my heels into the muddy grass and spin around. “Why are you even here? You work here, Carrick. You cut our lawn. You’re not mybodyguard.”

“No, I’m yourfriend.”

“Are you? Think about it—the only place I talk to you is inside this fence. Do I ever acknowledge you in school? Hell, I was a bitch to you tonight, yet you still showed up here.Why?”

“I loveyou.”

His admission guts me. “You can’t! Don’t you know what I am? How can you love me whenIdon’t even loveme?”