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I used to think it would be cool if our lives sometimes resembled movies. Like when something earthshattering or life changing happened, what if we suddenly lost our breath or felt an unearthly cold cascade over our bodies signaling to us what a momentous event was taking place?

But when it feels like just another day or just another moment, we don’t see how significant that moment was until years later when we look back.

That first Thursday, I walked into the library, brown bag lunch in hand.

I’d walked past it a few times but had never been inside.

Even though there were computers and tables and chairs everywhere, there were still plenty of shelves and lots of books.

I hadn’t yet made my way in here because Ava wasn’t a reader.

Oh, she said she read, but she always made a big deal out of it when she did, because it wasn’t something she did regularly.

Once in a while, she’d sneak a book out of her mom’s bedroom, something like Fifty Shades of Grey , but she wouldn’t read the whole thing.

Instead, she’d leaf through the pages, looking for naughty parts, and we’d stay up late reading and giggling .

She’d never, not once, read any stories I’d suggested.

I liked all kinds of books, though, and even though I was looking along the walls to find a door labeled 3A, I also peeked at some spines to see what kind of titles lived in this spacious room, planning to check something out soon.

Trying to shake Ava’s controlling energy off me, I entered the door marked Room 3A, way back near a corner of the library.

Ava had made one last pitch before I’d walked away, determined to be my own person.

“People are gonna call you a nerd, Dani. I hope you’re okay with that. ”

I wasn’t going to argue about it with my friend, but I could think of much worse things.

So the room’s décor was nothing exciting.

The walls were a grayish-white and there were no windows.

Several old tables and chairs were crammed inside the room along with a whiteboard on an easel.

I got the feeling this space used to be utilized for storage until an enterprising soul had had different plans.

A man stood in front of a cabinet on the left wall, pulling out chess boards and paused when he saw me. “Are you here for chess club?”

I nodded.

“Great. I’m Mr. Lopez. I teach chemistry and bio, so you might have a class or two with me in the future. Go ahead and have a seat, and we’ll introduce ourselves in just a minute.” Suddenly, I felt intimidated and wondered what the heck I’d been thinking coming here.

Especially because there were four boys and Mr. Lopez in there…and me.

I was the only girl!

That left me feeling a little shy. Intimidated isn’t quite the right word, but it’s close.

There were good vibes in there, but I didn’t know any of these kids, and I would’ve guessed that they hadn’t been expecting a girl to join them.

So I sat at the first table (by myself, of course) and gave a gentle smile to the first boy whose eyes I met.

And yet…I didn’t feel nervous. Not at all.

I felt free .

I loved Ava. I did. She’d been a good friend when I’d needed one, someone to help me explore my awakening identity while thwarting the handful of mean kids back in Nopal Middle School.

But instead of growing together or even growing apart, Ava had grown while stifling my growth.

I thought of it like two trees planted close together.

Ava’s tree had grown tall and leafy, touching the sky with her branches, all while blocking me from the sun and greedily taking all the water from the soil.

Finally, I’d found the courage to do what I needed to do.

So the smile on my face, while possibly subtle, was genuine and warm.

I belonged here.

While I forced myself to try to make eye contact with the other three boys (I say try because one of them stared at his hands on the table), I snapped them back to the first boy quickly. There was something about him that I felt drawn to.

I would always feel drawn to him.

“All right, guys. We’ve got about half an hour, plenty of time to play a good game.

First, let’s go ahead and introduce ourselves.

I’ve only got one returning player from last year, so I’m really glad to see all the new faces.

” We appreciated his enthusiasm, but even we knew a turnout of five—even in a small school like DHS—was pathetic.

Still, that made our group special. “You all already know me. I’m Mr. Lopez.

Only two of you are in my classes right now, but if you take enough science, you’re bound to be in my classroom at least once during your high school career.

” Mr. Lopez seemed like a really nice guy—a warm smile, inviting brown eyes, male pattern baldness that made it hard for me at that time to guess his age, and average height—and I knew already I wanted to take the rest of my science classes with him.

My mom had told me time and time again that I needed to go to college—which meant lots of science.

“I want to give you the benefit of learning from my mistakes.”

I was at a point in my life, though, where I wanted to make my own mistakes.

“Let’s go around the room and introduce ourselves. How about ladies first ?”

Oh, crap. The spotlight was on me. As I smiled again, I could see my lashes as my eyes crinkled. “My name is Danielle Mankin. You can call me Dani.”

Mr. Lopez nodded at the boy I’d been intrigued by, and that boy grinned from ear to ear.

He possessed a sincere warmth that I was drawn to.

I wasn’t used to that. The boys from Nopal had been testing out their testosterone, trying to figure out which kid was the alpha at the girls’ expense.

While I’d crushed on one of them because I liked the way he looked, I hadn’t cared for his attitude.

Unlike those hormonal Neanderthals, I hadn’t met a boy like this one since a boy I’d befriended in kindergarten but whose family had left Nopal in third grade.

This boy’s energy spoke to me—not that I could have articulated that notion as a shy freshman.

“Zachary Ryan,” he said, a huge grin on his face. “And you can call me Zack.”

I gave a little nod, because he was looking right at me.

Back then, Zack’s black hair was short and slightly wavy, framing his beautiful face, and his green eyes were expressive even underneath the glasses he wore.

His lips were full, plumped by nature, and I couldn’t be sure, but it looked like he might have been shaving some peach fuzz, because I couldn’t see full-blown whiskers underneath the skin.

He wore a plain black t-shirt and, I saw underneath the table, jeans and black sneakers.

Next to him, a boy with light brown hair and brown eyes said, “Braden Mitchell.” The poor kid’s voice cracked like many boys their age often did from time to time.

After the other two boys introduced themselves, Mr. Lopez said, “Because there’s an odd number here, even I get to play today. Do any of you care who you end up with?” No one said a word, so he said, “All right then. I can divide us up. Dani, do you have any preference?”

No way would I admit that I would love to sit with Zack, because there was something about that boy.

But I could tell that Braden was his friend and would probably prefer to be paired with him as well.

Still, Mr. Lopez was clinical about it, not making it weird or complicated like he could have, so he went in seating order.

“Dani, I’ll put you with Zack. Braden…” His voice seemed to fade into the darkness as my other senses heightened and my breath disappeared.

I was going to be with this guy who wasn’t really attractive in any way I could describe but to whom I was attracted, nonetheless.

As Zack stood so he could join me at the little table where I sat, a fleeting thought rushed through my head. “Wait’ll I tell Ava!”

But I didn’t know that I wanted to share this with her—at least not yet. Zack and the Chess Club were mine and mine alone.

Soon we were all in groups and Mr. Lopez was putting chess boards and pieces down at each table for us to arrange.

The lone sophomore in the group got to play against the teacher, leaving the rest of us newbies to flounder against one another.

In a way, that took the pressure off. When my grandpa had taught me the game years ago so he’d have someone to play with (grandma and mom weren’t interested), I’d discovered that most kids I knew thought chess was a “smart game.” Most of them, Ava included, didn’t want to learn how to play.

“Do you want black or white?” Zack asked me.

Although his voice seemed to be deepening, it cracked at one point in that short sentence, just like Braden’s had moments earlier.

Ah, the joys of adolescence. They were a couple of steps ahead of me, though.

Even though I had to shave my legs and sometimes under my arms now, I had yet to have my period, and I felt like I would forever be a kid until I did.

I already liked this boy. A lot.

“I don’t care.”

“Then I’ll take black.”

As we started to arrange our pieces on the board, Mr. Lopez said, “Don’t forget to eat, guys.”

Zack chuckled. “Like I could forget that.”

I didn’t have the most exciting lunch, but I didn’t care.

I’d gladly trade the cafeteria’s reportedly delicious lasagna for a PB and J with this kid.

Chips, carrot sticks, a Gala apple, two chocolate chip cookies, and a warm Dr. Pepper with chess and Zack and no Ava in sight made this my best lunch in high school thus far.

Although we were only four days in, I knew it to be true.

While I knew how my grandpa and I had played, I didn’t know the “official” rules of chess. “Who goes first?”

“You do. You’re white.”

“Oh, thanks.”