Page 24

N ot seconds later, Zack arrived, just as my stomach prepared to devour itself.

His eyes were shining, a huge grin on his face, with not a clue about what we’d been thinking.

“Ah, you guys are prepared. I love that.” He grabbed his guitar by the shaft, carrying it almost like it was a pencil. “Let’s go.”

But it was pretty obvious to me that Zack had taken something with that woman, and how would that affect his performance?

The three of us hadn’t even discussed that possibility when Cyrus had been trying to keep our minds off the what ifs .

Well, if the guys weren’t going to say something, I was. “Hold on, Zack. Are you high?”

Grinning from ear to ear as if to confirm, he instead said, “No.” When he held back laughter, it confirmed to me that he was hiding the truth.

“What did she give you, Zack?”

Then he laughed. Hard. “You really want to know?” My glare and lack of moving feet convinced him I was serious.

“Nothing illegal happened, okay? She gave me a hummer. I’m already a rock star.

Now,” he said, shifting his eyes from me to the rest of the band, “let’s go out and rock this motherfucker to the ground.

Do you hear those guys out there? They’re ready for us .

They want to hear us play—and we’re not going to disappoint them.

We’re gonna rock them so hard, they’ll roll into next week. ”

Although his speech was rousing, I worried even more that whatever drug a hummer was would ruin his performance.

He’d said it wasn’t illegal, so I wasn’t going to say anything else.

No one here would ever see us again, and if Zack made a complete fool of himself, he’d never forget it.

My mom had often said that was when we learned lessons—when we made monumental mistakes.

He didn’t seem to be silly like he sometimes was when he’d had his first drink or two, so I decided to let it go.

As we walked through the tiny hall past the bathrooms and toward the loud roar of people conversing at the top of their lungs, having a great time, I could tell Zack was under control.

So whatever he’d taken wasn’t slowing him down or affecting his ability to move or react.

That didn’t change the fact that he’d been stupid.

I will never forget that first show or the strange amazing energy I felt.

As we emerged from the hallway, I was struck by the darkness of the bar after walking through the well-lit hallway.

But it wasn’t completely dark. Instead, it was like Christmas, because there were all kinds of colored lights hanging all around, from the red neon chevron-type Budweiser sign to the strands of mini white ones that belonged on a tree in December.

There was enough light to see bodies and faces but I suspected it hid a lot of grime and wear and tear in this joint.

There was one big-screen television by the actual bar area that got turned off as soon as we entered the room.

The stage was on the left-hand side of the room, the bar on the right.

The room was rectangular, and so people wanting to sit at the bar were at a disadvantage.

Most people looked like they had their beverages already in hand.

A man walked over and Zack nodded at him.

The crowd began to clap and howl, anticipating their evening’s entertainment, so I could hardly hear the man when he spoke to us.

“They’re looking forward to hearing from you, so let’s give them a hell of a show, shall we?

” We nodded as he walked up the rickety wooden stairs onto the rickety wooden stage.

Had I helped to set up the drums, I would have known just how unsteady the platform felt.

As I settled into my chair behind the drums, I allowed my eyes to wander over the width and depth of the crowd.

Besides having instruments block part of my body and even face, the darkness also shrouded me, so I figured the audience wouldn’t be able to see me scoping them out.

The one thing I knew right then was that Cyrus had been dead wrong.

There were more than twenty people here, and they wanted to rock hard.

Into the mic, the man said, “I have here a band from Dalton called Once Upon a Riot. I think you’re gonna like ‘em.”

That hadn’t seemed like much of an introduction, but you couldn’t tell from the crowd’s reaction. They started cheering again and the excitement was almost palpable. I still felt a nervous energy making my fingers tingle, but I was filled with a quiet excitement that I wouldn’t be able to contain.

I knew it would make its way out as I banged on the drums.

Almost right in front of me stood Zack. To the left of Zack was Braden, and Cy was to his right. I couldn’t quite tell, but Braden looked like he was almost shaking like my car would idle roughly when I first started it. If he was like me, though, he’d be okay once we started actually playing.

We all wore ragtag jeans and miscellaneous t-shirts, probably looking like 1800s street urchins begging for a bowl of soup. My right sneaker even had a hole in the toe, but the audience was still willing to give us a chance .

And, unlike the rest of us, Zack was already the rock star.

“Lamar! How we doin’ tonight?”

There were claps and hoots and hollers, reminding me of crowds I’d been surrounded by at a county fair during a rodeo—enthusiastic, loud, and energetic.

In my mind, though, I imagined them in a huge arena, because their vibe encompassed that large a crowd.

Even though I hadn’t hit a drum yet, I felt a calmness wash over me, knowing that tonight would be perfect.

So we went through our set list, one song at a time, and the audience ate it up.

I don’t know that I’ve ever had that much fun in my life.

We played a mishmash of different songs—so different that the audience probably wasn’t sure what to think.

We played some Metallica, Korn, Avenged Sevenfold, AC/DC, Marilyn Manson, Tool, and a few others, and while they liked our music, they were possibly confused.

I had a few opinions about that—but they would wait.

One thing I knew for sure by the end of the show: I was staying in the band, for better or for worse.

My body was tired but my brain was revved up.

The excitement I’d felt at the show had ultimately been why I was so fatigued now, and I knew I should have been sleeping in Cy’s car on the way home.

I was glad he was driving, but I’d have to get in my own car an hour later and make the seven-mile trip home before I could rest my head on my pillow.

But as Cy sped down the road, I was searching on my phone browser. I wanted to know what the hell Zack had taken before the show—because he hadn’t seemed drugged up at all.

Hummer .

“Dammit. Not the SUV. ”

So I typed in the word slang after it and my browser seemed to freeze.

A tiny bar at the top of my phone indicated what I’d already figured out.

“We’ve hardly got any signal here.”

“We’re back in the boonies, Dani. We won’t get good service again till we roll through the next town.

It’s a good fifteen minutes or so before we get there.

” I shifted in the seat, switching off my phone and crossing my arms, as if in defiance against the world—in spite of the euphoria I felt overall from the show.

“Why? What’s so important it can’t wait till home? ”

Sighing, I debated if I should say anything or not.

But this was Cy I was talking to, the guy who’d always seemed to be the most serious one in our group.

Of all of us, he was usually the one who’d leave Zack’s place before the bottles were cracked open—unless Zack beat him to the punch and drank while we were rehearsing.

“I was just looking up what a Hummer is.”

Cy let out a laugh—a genuine one. Then he said, “Sorry.”

“Why? Just tell me what it is. All I could find before I lost my signal was the vehicle. If Zack’s getting high, I—”

“Dani, are you for real?”

“What do you mean?”

“Are you really that na?ve?”

“Na?ve?” My face grew hot—not with embarrassment but with anger. “What?”

“A hummer is a blowjob. That skeezy waitress sucked Zack off—in a musical way.”

“What?!” Not only did I feel stupid and dirty all of a sudden, but I became extra pissed at Zack. Why the hell would he let a woman old enough to be his mom put his dick in her mouth?

I could barely see Cy’s face even with the glow from the dashboard. “I would have considered it in his position. It’s like he’s popped his rock star cherry, and we’ve barely gotten started. Now if the rest of us could have that good fortune…”

My jaw and the muscles in my neck tightened, almost as if that was the only way I could keep my mouth shut.

But I did—and I had to, because saying anything else might give away how I really felt about Zack, and because he’d already put me in the friend zone, continuing to openly pine over him would be awkward at best and potentially stalkerish.

I’d already made the deal with myself that I wanted to be part of his life, no matter how.

That didn’t mean it didn’t hurt.

Cy somehow sensed that. “It’s none of my business, Dani, but Zack’s not worth your love.

I’m not saying he’s a bad guy, but he has stars in his eyes.

He doesn’t have room for a girl in his heart.

Sex, yeah, but he’s got a one-track mind, and that’s on fame and fortune.

Any women in his path are just going to be notches in his belt. ”