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I didn’t know that I could keep up with my emotions. My body was loving it all but my brain was reeling. Zack kissed me on the mouth once again as I felt the zipper buzz against the front of my panties. That motion alone kept the fires burning.

“Fuck this.” Scooping me up, Zack nearly tossed me on the bed before he leaned over to yank his sneakers off.

I pulled mine off, too, but still had my hand wrapped around the second one when Zack was pelting me with kisses again.

Then he stood once more, pulling my jeans down near my ankles, but my silky light green panties refused to come off.

They’d slid down my hips but continued covering my naughty parts.

With a grin, Zack leaned over and looped his index fingers over both sides before easing them off my thighs.

The reverence with which he viewed my womanhood nearly made me blush.

But there was no time for that sort of thing.

Zack pulled his t-shirt over his head and threw it to the floor beside my bed.

I’d seen him shirtless before…but I’d never noticed the tattoo he’d had inked on his skin.

It was right in between both pecs—and it was the symbol we’d designed not even a year ago.

“I fucking love the tat, Zack.”

“I fucking love you .”

Did he really mean that? Had I not been lying on the bed, I would have swooned. I swallowed as he unzipped his jeans, because seeing him completely naked—that would make it real.

That would make him mine.

And what did I say back? “I love you, too, Zack.” And that was the moment when he bared his everything.

I can’t explain the overwhelm that washed over me. The penis in real life was quite a bit different from the pictures on Wikipedia or the drawings in science books. Zack’s member was hard and throbbing, almost as if it had a life of its own.

And I had no fucking idea if my body could accommodate him.

My eyes must have been as wide as saucers as Zack sat back on the bed next to me—and I couldn’t help it: there was no tearing me from the looking.

Until he skimmed the bottom of my chin with his fingers. Then his lips gently brushed mine again before he spoke. “Touch me, Dani.”

I swallowed. Not only was he giving me permission, he was asking . The question was implicit. So, as his tongue touched mine, I slowly brought my hand toward his dick, believing that it would be my first act as a full-grown woman .

Before easing my hand over the shaft so that I could actually hold it, I first touched the head with my finger.

The flesh was soft but rigid underneath and, as I began running my hand slowly up its entirety, I discovered there was nothing soft there—it was hard and veiny, and Zack’s eyelids fluttered as my hand made progress toward his body.

“Are you ready?” Mostly. I nodded, hoping I looked eager.

“I have a condom in my jeans. Hold on.” When he moved to the edge of the bed to pick his jeans up off the floor, I considered pinching myself to remind me that this was real, but I instead stared at the beauty of Zack’s body, marveling at the musculature—and a teeny tiny freckle at the base of his spine just above his butt crack.

It was so damn cute, and I wondered if he knew it was there.

He rolled the condom onto his member, but I didn’t see it until he turned around.

Suddenly, my anxiety jumped through the roof, but I knew this could be good after getting through what I figured would be an initial uncomfortable part.

This was a rite of passage I’d have to go through, just like any other woman—and better it be with Zack than someone else.

Stretching out over me, he didn’t put his whole weight on my body.

Instead, he gently brushed his lips on mine again as he brought his frame closer.

His body heat warmed me and I tilted my pelvis, almost urging him to do what felt so instinctual to me.

Even if I’d never had a single sex ed class, I would innately know that we would be joined in this way.

And when I turned my head, Zack pierced me first with his tongue and then with his manhood.

I hadn’t quite expected the sensation I felt. Searing, burning, ripping pain, and I somehow knew it wasn’t done yet. I let out a cry, unable to stop it from leaving my mouth.

“Shit, Dani. Are you okay?” He wasn’t moving, instead only pausing where I perceived was a spot halfway through my virgin walls.

Forcing a smile, I opened my eyes. “Perfect.” As if to seal the deal, I ran my fingers through the back of his hair and kissed him, willing myself to be strong, to brace myself for what was coming.

It felt like he was starting over, backing out and pushing through again, sending another wave of excruciating pain through my body. The earlier numbness from the alcohol and pot were ripped away, leaving me with raw awareness. I couldn’t help when my fingernails dug into his back.

“God, you’re tight, Dani. Are you sure you’re okay?”

My voice was a mere whisper. “Yeah.”

Actually, I was great. Not down there, but that would change.

The idea that Zack and I were together was enough to get me through the pain.

So when he thrust again, this time breaking through the fleshy barrier that had impeded his progress moments earlier, I clamped my mouth shut so I wouldn’t make any kind of noise that would give away what I was truly feeling.

A couple of times, Zack made a sound like mmm , letting me know that it was good for him.

“Are you even close?”

I had no clue what that would feel like, but I knew it wasn’t anything like right now. “No.”

“Are you okay if I do?”

Had I not hurt so bad, I might have laughed. His sincere question also gave away how drunk and high he was, because he had no clue I was a virgin. Or maybe I was a great actress.

But that night, even though the entire area between my legs ached and throbbed like no pain I’d ever known before, I lay in Zack’s arms, the happiest I’d ever been in my whole life.