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“I think I’m getting sleepy,” he said, unable to stifle a yawn. He was obviously struggling with keeping his eyes open.

“I’ll go home then.” Even after saying that, I wasn’t sure what I should do, now that our relationship had changed…so I continued sitting next to him. Should I give him a kiss or hug goodbye? Was there something else I should say?

“Stay, Dani,” he said, but he let his head fall back on the couch .

“I have to go, Zack. I’ll get in trouble with my mom if I don’t.”

But my words fell on unhearing ears as Zack fell prey to the demon alcohol, causing him to fall into a deep sleep in seconds.

“Zack?” I said, trying to get him to stir.

“I’m leaving, okay?” I started worrying that maybe something else was going on, so I touched him on the cheek.

What if he had alcohol poisoning or something?

“Zack?” Although he muttered something in response, I couldn’t understand the words. “Zack? Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” he said, his voice boyish and soft. “I’m just sleepy.” He hardly moved his head before his breathing grew deep and rhythmic. I knew the alcohol had had something to do with it—but he clearly needed to sleep.

Picking up the remote, I switched the TV off before grabbing my purse and heading to the doorway.

I turned one last time and looked at Zack, then Braden, then back to Zack again, and I felt a thrill zing through my heart.

With a wide smile, I forced myself to turn around, because he wouldn’t be waking up anytime soon.

A couple of minutes later, I was in my car, heading toward the highway that would take me to Nopal.

Oh, my God , I thought. This is it. Finally, we could be boyfriend and girlfriend—and it wasn’t just me . Zack wouldn’t have made a move if he hadn’t been feeling this way the whole time, right?

Never had I enjoyed the drive home so much because, honestly, my mind wasn’t on the drive. It was back at Zack’s house, reliving every millisecond of that kiss.

Everything had changed with one little act. Everything. I’d dreamed of being Zack’s girlfriend for a long time, and now I could be. It made being in the band all the more exciting. I’d been content with Zack and me just being friends, but after that kiss, I knew more than ever what I wanted.

So during the drive home, I was ecstatic even while wishing that Zack and I had had more time to talk.

Maybe later. But this incident kind of made me wish I still had a girlfriend to talk to about it.

I could imagine the old me and Ava staying up till two o’clock, giggling and imagining what might have happened next had I not left.

I even thought my mom would be a great person to talk to, but she wouldn’t get home till later.

By the time I pulled my car in front of the house, I thought, I’m becoming an adult now. I don’t need to talk to somebody about this, no matter how badly I want to. I’ll just wait and talk to Zack in the morning.

The question was if I’d even be able to sleep after what had happened. It’s not every day a person’s life completely changes.

I could hardly remember my dreams from the night before, but it had taken a long time to drift off—and even though I was tired that morning, my mood trumped the exhaustion I felt.

Besides, it was Friday, and Friday was always a good day in school.

When I got there, Zack, Braden, and I met in our usual place just outside the building.

Both seemed a little tired but Zack even seemed a little standoffish.

It must have been due to a hangover. Even though I’d never had the pleasure of experiencing one firsthand, I knew he could be suffering, and that might cause him to be quieter than usual.

As I pondered it, I realized he might feel weird around Braden about us, too. I knew that, for the meantime, hugging or holding hands or anything affectionate would be out of the picture until we had a chance to talk about that kiss.

It was nothing he necessarily said or did.

Maybe it was in his tone and his body language when he said, “Hey.” But something felt off.

And then Braden did the rest of the talking, telling me he finished watching the zombie movie that morning before taking a shower.

When I asked a couple of questions, he let me know how it ended, making it possible for me to go my whole life without seeing it again.

When the first bell rang and we started heading in, I said to Zack, “Hey, can we talk later?”

“Yeah. We need to.” And off he went to his locker.

I had no idea what his words meant and it was all I could think about. Did he want to keep us secret from Braden? I wanted to think it was as simple as that, but I wouldn’t know until he felt comfortable talking to me.

The problem? We had two morning classes together, and both of those were with Braden—followed by lunch with Braden . Our friend didn’t act like anything was amiss, so I didn’t think Zack had said anything to him about what had happened last night.

Oh, no. What if he didn’t remember? I knew sometimes people blacked things out when they got really drunk. And, if he’d forgotten, I would have to make a choice—either find the nerve to tell him what happened or figure out how to be patient and wait for it to happen again.

But at least I knew how he felt inside. That made waiting seem infinitely more possible.

Finally, we were able to break away for Statistics, and we met outside the classroom. Zack looked miserable, so I figured he had to have a hangover. His green eyes look pained as they searched mine, and he said, “Look, Dani, what happened last night shouldn’t have happened. I’m sorry about that.”

Normally, I would have clammed up, especially if it were any other boy—but this was my Zack, and he understood me. “Last night was all just an accident?”

He sighed and all but hunkered down, trying to protect our conversation from kids walking past. “Not really. The thing is…I th ink you’re pretty. And you’re funny and sweet. And I like you a lot.”

Those words hit me like a train. He thought all that about me—and this was the first I was hearing it.

So what the hell was the problem?

“But you’re one of my best friends and crossing that line is…

weird .” I blinked, trying to find the words to express to him that, weird or not, we could make it past that point.

But not only did I not know how to vocalize it, I didn’t know if it was possible, either.

I allowed myself to believe he had a point.

“More than that, though, you’re in my band. ”

“So?”

“So I’ve watched my mom all these years and all the shit that happens at her job, and if I’ve learned anything from that, it’s that you don’t mix business with pleasure.

It just causes problems. So you and me?” My heart felt like it skipped a beat when he uttered that phrase, but it was shattered with his next words. “Our focus needs to be on the band.”

My brain, nowhere to be found, delighted in letting my heart do all the talking. “Well, if that’s all that’s stopping you from being my boyfriend, then screw it. I’ll do these two shows with you like I promised, but then I quit.”

His face remained a block of granite, and I should have been able to take the hint. “Uh-uh. It doesn’t work that way, Dani. My band is more important to me than anything else. And it doesn’t matter if you quit the band. You and me will never work.”

Like an inflated balloon, my insides seemed to wither as I realized that maybe there was something more behind his rejection, something he wasn’t saying out loud.

Maybe he’d kissed me last night in a fleeting moment of passion, fueled by the alcohol, but he obviously didn’t feel the same way about me that I did about him.

The second bell rang and our Stats teacher came to the door to close it. Seeing us just outside, Mr. Brennan said, “Do the two of you plan to join us for class, or would that interfere with whatever you’ve got going on here?”

My wounded spirit wanted to run to the girls’ bathroom and lock myself in a stall, allowing myself to cry my eyes out before tapping into my inner strength.

But I knew Mr. Brennan was giving us a get out of jail free card in that he could have counted us tardy for not having been in our seats.

So, in spite of his sarcasm, I realized he was being cool.

Both Zack and I nodded before entering the classroom, but the way the door made the loud sound it did when it closed somehow felt symbolic.