Page 19

I t was probably the first time in my life I could honestly say I’d worked my ass off.

The more I practiced, the more endurance my arms had as we played through a song. At first, I needed a few minutes in between songs to give my muscles a rest, but I could go longer and longer the more I played with the guys.

I started to believe a show in November might actually be possible.

The worst part, honestly, was that we were exclusively playing covers.

I strove for accuracy to the original, even though the guys put their own spin on the songs, so I wanted my drums to match beat for beat.

If and when we wrote our own music (or played the songs Zack had written), then I could start improvising.

But doing covers was also the best part, because it forced me to practice and learn and get better.

I wasn’t able to be lazy and just stick to the few techniques I’d learned at first. And after spending weeks practicing to videos, I started trying to mimic other favorite songs by ear.

I even asked the guys for guidance, too, because even though they weren’t drum players, they were musicians and music lovers, and they could tell me if what I was doing sounded good or not.

One Friday night, we planned to practice late—especially because our first show was one week later. My mom actually agreed to both shows and later told me that, now that I was almost eighteen, I was going to be an adult soon and she needed to start training me to be such.

Finally.

After going through our set twice, my arms felt like noodles—and Zack broke out the alcohol.

I wondered how he could get his hands on so much liquor and then decided I probably didn’t want to know.

When he offered me a drink, I was tempted but reminded myself I needed to drive home later—and what would my mother say if I wasn’t able to because I’d been drinking with a bunch of boys?

Besides, I’d seen what liquor did to my friends. Although Zack would start out having fun, he often became sad and depressed as the night wore on. Braden would get silly and giggly, obviously enjoying himself.

Cyrus was a solid musician—a bit arrogant but he had reason to be. I knew he and Zack were friends, but he still seemed standoffish. I didn’t feel completely comfortable around him, and I thought maybe if he had a drink or two, he’d loosen up.

But he left shortly after the bottles appeared.

Braden drank quickly and fell asleep while Zack and I sat on the couch watching an old zombie movie.

What made it fun was Zack’s constant commentary.

He’d say things like “I bet that guy tastes like shit” or “Zombies have bad dental hygiene.” I was sure the director would have gone into hiding if he’d heard Zack’s constant barrage of jokes at the expense of the film.

About half an hour into the movie, he asked, “Sure you don’t want a sip, Dani? ”

“Yes, I’m sure. I gotta drive home later.”

“Nah. You can crash here. My mom won’t mind.”

“No, but mine would.”

“Ya think?”

“No, I know .”

We turned our attention back to the movie, and Zack said, “Look out behind you, dummy.” Braden snorted a little in his sleep, and Zack laughed hard then, as if it was the funniest thing he’d ever heard.

But his laughter was contagious and, soon, I was giggling, too.

Braden should have woken up from all the noise we were making, but he didn’t.

After I’d laughed so hard I was holding my stomach and Zack was wiping tears from his eyes, he said, “Thanks for joining my band, Dani. It means a lot to me.”

“I didn’t have much of a choice.”

Zack cocked his head in that sweet way of his. “You don’t really feel that way, do you?” He sat up, but his motions were slower than usual, more pronounced and intentional. “Shit. You shoulda said something. And after these two shows, I’ll cut you loose—”

“No, it’s fine. I’m actually glad I’m doing it now.

I didn’t think I’d like it at first, but there’s something satisfying about banging the drums.” I wasn’t going to tell him I could hardly wait for some original material, especially because, for all I knew, Zack would be a perfectionist when it came to his own stuff.

Maybe that was why he hadn’t started teaching us any of his original material yet.

“It kind of takes me out of my own head for a while.”

He put his finger on my temple and slid it down the side of my face, causing a shiver to crawl up my spine.

I was barely breathing, having that feeling that I was in a dream and anything I did could pull me out of it.

Then he shifted his jade green eyes from his finger to look into mine and, even though he was inebriated, it seemed as if he was letting his guard down completely.

Even though Zack was an open guy who had no problem sharing with his friends, I could tell that sometimes there were things he didn’t talk about.

And I got the feeling he was considering telling me some of those things now.

But he surprised me again. “You’re a natural, Dani. I always knew you would be.”

I could smell the rum on his breath as I realized his face was closer to mine than before.

As I searched his eyes, he closed the gap until our noses touched.

I thought I should say something, anything , but my brain locked up.

Like a rabbit, frozen with fear so that it can’t run from danger, I found myself cemented in place on that couch.

Why was I afraid that Zack was so close I could feel the warmth emanating from his skin?

Maybe fear wasn’t the exact emotion I was experiencing.

Apprehension, anticipation, anxiety that perhaps I couldn’t read his signals properly—or, perhaps, that he was sending the wrong ones in his intoxicated state.

But the finger that had been paused at my jaw was now joined by the other three, and he slid them back toward my ear.

At the same time, he moved his head so that our noses could no longer hold each other back and, as if it was the most natural thing, I closed my eyes when he did his.

My stomach was balled up in knots, but my instincts led me forward.

I also knew, somewhere in the back of my mind, that Zack had kissed a girl or two in the past—probably more than I wanted to realize—but I’d never had the opportunity to kiss anyone. Even if I had, I’d been pining for this boy here for so long that no other guy would do.

Was this really happening?

As his lips pressed into mine, soft but with some urgency, my nose once more picked up the scent of alcohol but also the spicy cologne he wore.

My lips responded and my hands spontaneously moved of their own accord, slowly up off my lap toward his chest, as if drawn there by an electromagnet.

His lips were dry but his tongue was not, and he eased it out of his mouth and into mine as my hands connected with his body.

What surprised me most was how my nerves and muscles responded, something I wouldn’t have known to expect, not even after having taken sex ed classes or reading about the birds and the bees.

His tongue was warm, almost hot, and my fingers locked onto his t-shirt, grabbing it as if I were falling off a cliff.

My heart started thudding in my chest as a light sheen of perspiration covered my forehead.

Muscles I didn’t know I had clenched between my legs as my entire body lit up like a Fourth of July fireworks display.

Chemicals rushed through my veins, telling me this was one of the most important days of my short life here on earth and, perhaps, this was what I was put on the planet to do.

Even through the taste of rum, my tongue could discern a flavor uniquely Zack.

Was this really happening?

A moment I’d dreamed of for long days and nights, the best friend who was also the boy I’d grown to love to the depths of my soul…

and we were beginning something, right here, right now.

It was like a seal on a proclamation, and all these stupid thoughts were swimming in my head to help me deal with the overload of sensations brought on by this simple act.

Zack’s pecs felt hard against the pads of my fingers and, while his firm, sweet tongue pressed against mine gently, his body felt strong, and something about that made me feel safe in a way I never had before.

I took a deep breath in through my nostrils as Zack sucked on my lower lip. I took in another breath then, my brain and body unable to keep up with the overwhelming sensations and emotions. My thighs clenched again as that entire area awakened like it never had before .

Holy shit.

As Zack moved just centimeters away from me, a thought hit me: everything had changed in a matter of seconds.

Everything.

All I could say was “Wow.” In that one word, I hoped to express each and every emotion and thought inside me, for so many of them didn’t have words.

Even if they did, I myself didn’t know how to arrange them in a coherent fashion and, had I the ability to do that much, those phrases would have proven to be inadequate.

“Hmm,” Zack said with half a laugh. He opened his eyes, searching mine.

With his hand still cupping the side of my head, he rubbed his fingers against my skull, almost as if trying to ensure himself that this had really happened, just as I had asked myself throughout the entire process.

A slow stream of air slid out his pursed lips.

“You and Braden—you’re my best friends, Dani. ”

Was that an odd thing to say after kissing me? Did he care what Braden, sawing logs just feet away, thought?

Or was he trying to justify what had just transpired between us?

“I feel the same way, Zack.” And my old best friend, Ava—well, I never would have let her kiss me. I found myself almost saying as much, but the enormity of the moment weighed heavily on my brain.