Page 72 of Saving the Rain (Crimson Ridge #4)

S o this is peace?

This is what it feels like to find your sanctuary in someone else... and learn to live wholly in the moment. To fall deeper every day now that I’ve allowed my heart to crack wide open to being with Kayce.

I willingly lose myself in the act of loving him.

We’ve had weeks of seclusion here on Devil’s Peak, hidden away together, getting to reconnect and find our path forward. Having long nights in front of a roaring fire to figure it out together.

For two people who spent so many years on opposite pages, facing each other down across acres of torment and struggle, this feels like coming home.

I’ve never known where I’d land in this life—after spending so much time continually moving and endlessly uprooting myself—but quitting my job and returning to him was the easiest decision I’ve ever made.

Do I wish I’d seen what he wrote to me sooner?

Perhaps. But having heard how much progress he’s been able to make in my absence, makes me think the timing was right.

.. or something approaching that. Kayce wouldn’t have been able to take some of those vastly important steps that only he could take by himself—setting one foot in front of the other each day as he climbed that personal mountain.

If I’d turned up to disturb that, I’d regret not allowing him the opportunity to feel that he’d achieved that feat and learned to trust himself.

To learn how to face down the parts of himself he’d fled from all this time.

I’m endlessly proud of him. I try to remember to tell him as often as I can.

The snow barricading us at the top of the Peak has cleared—the roading crew having arrived late yesterday and confirmed safe access has been reinstated to Crimson Ridge. Not that I was hoping for a reason to be trapped here longer, but what should have been good news also seemed a little hollow.

Selfishly, I’ve relished having this time without anyone else interrupting. While I usually thrive in a life that most would find lonely, having Kayce at my side, all to myself, has been incredible. Something warm and comforting seeps through my bones, knowing he’s never far away.

We need to go into town for supplies later today, a fact that had Kayce just about bouncing out of bed this morning, while I was grumbling that it wasn’t anywhere near as exciting as he seemed to think.

He pretended to pout and reminded me that he’s basically been stuck up here in the winter equivalent of time-out for way too long.

So I couldn’t resist the temptation to remind him why it wasn’t a bad thing to have to spend a little extra time between the sheets.

His flushed cheeks and disheveled hair are always a delicious sight first thing in the morning.

I like that he’s gotten bolder with asking me things every now and then, talking to me when he’s starting to flip out inside his head a little. While we were showering earlier, he gave me that look .

“You know I still get caught by these moments. Like my brain wonders why you came back. Am I really worth all this hassle?” Kayce nibbles his bottom lip and darts a quick glance at me while he lathers up.

“I was used to doing things on my own for so long. I never had anyone else to consider before now. Always being able to pack up and go whenever, wherever. Without needing to think about somebody else, you know?” I rinse my hair off under the shower spray, then scrub the excess wetness off my face, feeling his eyes drilling into me the entire time.

“And yet, while I was gone, all I could think was, what if I’ve done the wrong thing? What if walking away from you was the biggest mistake I ever made and would come to regret.”

“So what made you...” He falters, mid question.

“Snowflake, as soon as I realized you’d sent me those messages, that was all it took. I just needed to know your head and heart were in this as much as mine are. Because I couldn’t do it for you.”

“I still feel like shit it took me so long to get up the courage.”

Shaking my head, I step out from under the water and drip my way across to where our towels are stacked on the vanity.

“You needed to trust. Yourself. Me. Your friends to be a safe place for you to open up. All of that takes time.” I dry myself off as he finishes in the shower and then joins me.

God, I love that this is what our mornings, our days, our life looks like.

“Wanna know something? I’ve always trusted you. I’ve always felt safe with you, and I never knew it. You were my protector, and I had no fucking clue because you were a stubborn idiot and hid all that from me.”

Wrapping my towel around my waist, I rake my fingers through my hair and study him. Kayce still hits me up about that, and it’s hard for me to put words to that time in my life. I’m guessing I’ll be due for my own round of therapy at some point.

“Why did you do it?” He steps into me, a small, ever so curious smile hides in his blue eyes.

“ Back then... I don’t know. I hated that I had to.

It wasn’t like I took one look at you and felt things as a teenager.

” I swallow hard. “Can I be really straight up with you about that? Believe me, I was just an angry guy who felt like he couldn’t watch someone else go through what I’d been through.

My dad’s bastard side, I knew how to handle it, knew how to take it.

You and your mom would have ended up in the hospital, so I got in the way because I didn’t want your blood on my hands. ”

He wraps his arms around me, and the way he lets our damp chests press together, to indulge in feeling each other’s steady heartbeats, is everything.

“ Then I left, and things evolved over time. I don’t know.

It was like you stayed with me, and I couldn’t shake you following me around.

Like you were in my bones, and it wasn’t until I saw you here in Crimson Ridge.

.. that was when I realized I wasn’t feeling this way because I hated you or hated our life.

That connection evolved into something deeper. ”

“Something deeper.” He hums against my chest, his smile broadening, that soul-stealing sensation of his lips curving with happiness against my skin.

I just want to hold tight to him like that for hours.

I’m still deep in that memory, going through the motions of sorting out saddles and tidying the tack room, when a commotion pricks my hearing.

Not the usual sounds of the ranch. Not the horses kicking up a fuss or cattle bellowing.

Voices.

Raised voices.

Setting the saddle down, I make my way in the direction of the barn entrance, hearing Kayce’s words echoing loudly, but I’m unable to see him.

“I don’t know where the fuck Raine is. He’s not here. Last I heard, he was in Canada.”

There’s a harshness to his tone. With hackles up, I can immediately tell the response isn’t friendly. In an instant, I’m on edge, ready to speed to him and stand my ground, to handle this intruder.

“You never were any good at lying.”

My steps freeze. Every muscle locks up, and my blood turns to ice.

That voice.

That goddamn voice.

“Yeah? If he is, then where’s his truck? Christ, I don’t know where he went after leaving town. He’s been gone since before winter.”

My heart kicks into overdrive. Kayce is acting like I’m not here, and I know without a doubt why he’s talking as loud as he is. Fuck. Fuck.

“Nah, I can see straight through you. You got those same eyes like your momma. A dirty, good for nothing liar livin’ behind those eyes.”

The slithering words of my father spread foul tendrils the length of the barn from where they’re standing off with each other outside.

In between the racing of my pulse and numb sensation crawling through my limbs, I crouch low and move as quietly as possible to the left, avoiding being in a direct line of sight through the partially open doors.

Jesus. There’s nothing within reach to use as a weapon. And I don’t want to leave Kayce to stand up to that psycho alone. Even if he is foolishly trying to protect me.

“Go on. You wanna rob me? Search the house? Take what you fucking want and piss off.”

As Kayce keeps arguing, I duck around the side of the building, keeping as low a profile as I can while carefully navigating to the shaded area at the back of the barn.

There’s excess wood stacked back here. Debris from the ranch.

Machinery. Nothing fucking useful for me to defend us with that I can see as I inch forward, doing my best not to make a sound.

Each carefully placed footstep through the remnants of snow and ice lingering beside the barn feels like an eternity.

I just want to sprint—to race out there.

But in my gut, I know that’s the worst thing I can do.

Since the asshole has followed me here, he’s found a way to connect me to Devil’s Peak.

Now that he knows Kayce is here, I hate to think what shitstorm he’s brought with him.

My heart is in my mouth, hoping like hell that Kayce will just keep him talking. Don’t be a fucking hero, Kayce. Just talk and buy me time until I can get there. Please don’t try anything with him.

Just hold the fuck on until I can get there.

As I draw nearer, their muffled voices sound curt, growing more agitated, and my entire heart is damn well pumping in overdrive. I’m terrified—colder and more sick to my stomach than I’ve ever felt before—that there’s gonna be the worst before I can get there in time.

Please. Kayce, I promise I’m coming.

I’m not leaving you to face this alone.

Inching as close as I dare to the corner of the barn, I remain partly hidden by a pile of timber stacked beside the wall.

I see him. I come face to face with the monster himself.

The most miserable and pathetic of men. Witnessing my abuser in the flesh. His hollowed face and sallow skin. Countless years of alcohol and drug abuse are present in those sunken, beady eyes.

And as I shift my weight, trying to control my breathing, trying to make a fucking plan—my entire world tilts on its axis. A vile, hideous trick of fate.

My stomach plummets through to the soles of my boots as the asshole steps forward, revealing the worst possible scenario. All my fucking fears have come to life.

With a gun in one hand, he toys with a lighter wheel in the other. A five gallon gas can sits at his feet.

“I’ll put a bullet straight through the eyes of every single one of these horses. Fuck me around, Wilder, and I’ll show you just how serious I am.”

Oh, Jesus.

No. No. No.

Kayce shields the horse with his body. My fucking beautiful man is protecting Winnie as she shifts her weight and her nostrils flare.

“I don’t fucking care if you shoot me. You so much as put a scratch on one of these animals, I won’t be held responsible for what happens next. ” His voice is low, deadly serious.

I know exactly what he would give for these animals, and if I was terrified before, now I’m doubled over with the painful realization that he’ll absolutely do something stupid if he thinks it’ll protect Winnie.

“That’s ok, boy.” My father sneers and gestures with the barrel of his gun. “How about I shoot you first, put a bullet in both knees real easy like, then set fire to this place. You can lie right there in the dirt and watch your precious horses burn.”

“Fuck you,” Kayce spits. “Piss off back to the hole you crawled out of.”

“Ah, but you stopped playing along nicely. You didn’t give me any choice.”

“Mom deserves to be rid of you. She should’ve kicked your rank ass to the curb years ago.”

“You shoulda kept your nose out of it. The hospital was mighty helpful in letting me know who’s been paying for my wife’s rehab. Certainly didn’t take long in a small town to find out where you were hiding these days.”

“You don’t care that she left you. All you care about is the money.”

Fuck. I see the way my father keeps readjusting his grip on that gun, and I edge another step closer.

What if I can only stop Kayce from getting hurt, but not Winnie?

I don’t know if he could handle that. He’d lay down his life for these horses; that's how pure his heart is, and it sends a chill straight to my core, realizing the precipice we’re dangling from.

One wrong move, and I might lose him in an entirely different way. Not to a bullet, but to guilt—to demons he’s done so much to come back from—if he feels like he failed to protect the most vulnerable lives on this ranch it’ll end him.

My father clicks that lighter wheel again and gestures with the gun. “Damn straight. I couldn’t give a shit where she goes. But I ain’t gonna be walking away without the money I’m owed.” He takes a step forward. “Money you now owe me, you little shithead.”

That’s all it takes. I see him cast his attention toward the interior of the barn. I catch his focus wandering for a split second, and I burst forward.

It happens in the blink of an eye but stretches on and on, dragging out into slow motion.

As I rush him, cannoning into his torso, I wrap my arms to pin his at his sides. Tackling him to the ground.

I don’t register the kick of the gun.

I barely hear the shot go off. The echoing pop sounds far, far away.

I hardly feel the white-hot, searing pain.

Adrenaline blasts a path through my limbs. Undiluted blind rage, a brutal fury, grants me the ability to overpower him. It’s rapid fire. The act of wrestling the gun from his hands and slamming the blunt end into his nose over and over and over. Then crashing the butt into the side of his head.

With a roar, I twist sideways to jam the barrel against his kneecap. I don’t pause, letting off two rounds in quick succession.

Red mist coats my vision.

My father’s screams of agony are deafened by the thundering pulse in my ears.

His face is pulverized into a mess of red and split skin as he garbles in pain. I don’t fucking care. I spit straight in his fucking face .

Words won’t form. Everything grows heavy. Lead weights pull my limbs toward the center of the earth.

Hands are on me. Grabbing my shoulders, tilting my jaw.

Kayce’s face swims in front of my eyes.

I can’t hold myself upright anymore.

It’s too hard to fight it. Slumping over, I clutch one side.

Warmth oozes, a track of something liquid seeps from my stomach. When I bring one hand up in front of my face, there’s bright red glistening all over my fingers.

It’s not his blood. It’s mine.

My blood.