Page 30 of Saving the Rain (Crimson Ridge #4)

He lets out an exasperated noise and looks around the room. “Jesus. You never change, do you? Always ready to kick me when I’m down. ”

There it is. The frightened little kid who wants to blame everyone else.

I let my tongue run a slow line across my bottom lip, and study him through the silence. He’s not running away, yet, but I can see the way he’s fighting the urge to flee tooth and nail.

And that’s when his eyes snag on my face. They lock there, watching my mouth, like he’s a kitten suddenly been scruffed by the back of his neck and he’s unable to do anything but follow the motion—standing there staring at the place where my lips are wetted.

Fuck, I have no idea why that does something to my insides, but it feels powerful.

That magnetic sensation from earlier, the one insistently drawing me into him, starts to thump harder.

It grows more demanding with each passing second and I’m not sure that it’s a good idea for me to dare shift my weight.

I’m pretty sure if I push off this bench, I’m not gonna be able to hold myself responsible for what I say, or do.

“See, that’s your problem, Kayce.” My voice is low. “You’re always looking for someone else to blame. I’m asking you a simple question, and you’re avoiding it.”

“What fucking question, Raine?” he snaps and waves a dismissive hand in my general direction. “It’s written all over your face. You love nothing more than to see me lose.”

“I’m asking if you’ve given up.”

He just about chokes with incredulity. “Of course not.”

“Then quit acting like you have, snowflake.”

He huffs and rolls his eyes. No better than the teenage version of himself.

The frightened kid who wanted to fight me at every opportunity.

“Fuck you, I’m going to bed.” Kayce turns and starts to walk away, before pausing.

He whirls around to face me again. “Oh, and you’ll be pleased to know I’ve been cleared to drive, to go back to work.

So you can take your ass back down to Crimson Ridge.

Don’t gotta endure being here any longer on my account. ”

I scrunch my eyes. Heart thudding faster, and pulse rushing in my ears. There’s no good reason for me to chase after him, not since he’s laid it all out now.

And yet, my feet are moving .

Within a few paces, I’ve caught up to him, and Kayce spins in the hallway when he feels my presence nipping at his heels. I’m met with eyes flaring that deeper shade of turquoise in the dim light as he whirls to face me.

“What do you want?” His lips are flushed, hanging parted on the shallow breaths he’s sucking down. “Wanna be the big bully older brother and spit in my face some more?”

My bulk crowds him, and Kayce stumbles back a step. His shoulders connect with the wall straight away.

“Quit running away,” I grit out. “You’ve already given up, so don’t pretend like I’m the bad guy here. That whine you’ve got going on ain’t fooling anyone.”

A muscle flickers in his jaw, and his chest rises and falls a little faster now that our bodies are almost flush.

“God, you’re such an asshole.” His eyes are locked on mine, but I see the fight going on behind them... they want to stray.

Blood whooshes in my ears as his scent starts to curl around me. That now all too familiar citrus tinge mingled with a woodsy scent hits my awareness.

“So you keep telling me. The same old tune you keep crying is getting old now.”

His mouth drops open a little more, and I hate that I’m taking note of the way his bottom lip has a plump swell to it.

I can’t seem to stop pushing him like this, needing to crack open something that has been sitting there.

A volatile pressure building and building the longer we’ve both been under this roof.

“Does it get you off, huh?” He breathes, voice going a little rougher. “Always ready to lay into me? Well, newsflash, prick. I’m not your punching bag anymore.”

Hearing him say that triggers my boiling point. Memories and past hurts, long shoved down and sealed inside a box, are unshackled in an instant. Those words falling from his mouth sever any thread of patience I have remaining.

My arm shoots out to slap a palm against the wall, and our chests brush up against each other as I get right in his fucking face. Just like he’s been asking for this whole time .

“You have no goddamn idea what you’re talking about.” My jaw tightens as I breathe harder through my nose. “No. Goddamn. Idea.”

“Wanna take a swing at me? Bet you do.” This time, Kayce’s focus starts to wander. His upper lip curls, and he lets his eyes drift back and forth between my own. “I bet you’ve always wanted to.”

“Don’t you fucking dare compare me to him,” I hiss. “I did everything I could, and you don’t even know the half of it. So I’d shut the fuck up if I were you.”

Kayce’s hands are balled into fists, and this time, they fly up to shove at me.

It’s half-hearted. A soft pressure digging into my stomach. Nowhere near enough assertion to move the weight of me.

“Get out of my face,” he mumbles, and I see it. This time, he loses the battle. His blue eyes flicker down to land on my mouth, and he gulps a heavy swallow. “Get away from me.”

What the fuck is this? What the fuck are we doing here?

I don’t understand why I can’t move off him. My hand feels like it’s cemented in place beside his head, and my pulse kicks harder in the side of my throat.

“That sounds like another lie.” There’s a ragged edge to my voice. “Time to start telling the truth for once.”

Our breaths fan across one another, tension rolling and billowing to fill the space around us, there’s hardly an inch separating our torsos.

Kayce is damn near panting, his chest rising and falling in time with his quickening breaths. And goddamn it, but something awakens inside me at having him timid and trembling like a leaf beneath me.

He wets his lips, then squeezes his eyes shut for a moment. Defeat and acceptance and a whole lot of hidden emotions we should never be daring to allow are right there bubbling to the surface when he opens his eyes again. Long lashes flutter heavily as his throat works.

“I fucking idolized you.” Those wide eyes still trace back and forth over my mouth as he gives me his soft admission. “I hated losing to you... but I loved seeing you win.”

Raging heat floods my body, hearing him finally say those words out loud.

“It’s so fucked up.” Kayce wets his lips, and I feel like we’ ve plummeted out of space and time. “All I ever wanted was for you to succeed. Even if it came at my own goddamn cost.”

His fists tighten, and he presses harder against my front.

Still not trying to shove me or move me off him.

Instead, it’s as if he’s trying to reach out for me, yet, is unable to bring himself to actually uncurl his fingers and do it.

“And I can’t stand that smug asshole look.

I hated the way you would look at me, just like you are right now. ”

I swallow. Hard. “What way is that exactly?” I know. I know what he’s saying, even if I never necessarily admitted it to myself either, but the sick and twisted part of me wants to hear him say it... just one time.

Our bodies line up as he sinks back against the wall. I’ve only got a slight advantage over him in height, but the biggest difference between us is how much broader my chest and shoulders are compared to his. He fits beneath me in a way that I shouldn’t even be goddamn acknowledging right now.

There’s no way I should still be here, not pressed up against my stepbrother . It’s so fucking wrong that we’re tangled together like this.

Kayce makes a soft noise in the back of his throat.

“It’s fucked up. I’m so messed up for thinking it, and I bet you’ll hold it over me forever.

..” As he speaks, his voice cracks on the final words.

“You looked at me like you knew. You knew that I wanted you to win... I wanted you to have it all.”