Page 48 of Saving the Rain (Crimson Ridge #4)

B y the time I pass under the hanging sign arching over the entrance to Devil’s Peak Ranch, it’s long after dark.

This moment right here feels like either the stupidest thing I’ve ever done, or the most completely right , and I still don’t know the answer. The whole day, I’ve been left struggling with turbulent thoughts, an uproar running through my mind. What does agreeing to come up here mean?

Beyond sex and rampant desire and all the implausible ways the two of us aren’t supposed to keep being drawn together... we still seem to give in.

Kayce is at the door before I’ve even crossed the yard, and his eyes look like they’re going to fall out of his head with how wide and round they grow.

He can’t help himself from looking me up and down as I reach the covered porch that wraps around the impressive house.

Even though he hastily swallows and tries to keep his attention fixed on my face, I see the brief flicker lower to that spot below my belt.

It shouldn’t stir my blood the way it does to have his attention, but then again, there are a lot of shoulds and should-nots I’ve crushed beneath my tires while making the drive up this mountain. I don’t know that any of my boundaries are still intact where he’s concerned.

That notion alone should terrify me. It would have been the very reason a past version of me would never have considered coming in the first place.

And yet, my feet keep moving forward. Toward him.

“Hey,” he says, in a voice that makes it sound like he’s just run the length of this ranch. “I made dinner, but wasn’t even hungry. There are plenty of leftovers if you want some?” His chin ducks low, and he slips away inside the house, leaving me to follow.

“I’m good. Ate earlier.” Shutting the door, I take a moment to shed my outdoor layers, before padding after him to where he’s vanished into the kitchen.

“Are you sure?” He uses the fridge door as a shield, hiding behind it, pretending to look for something. “Need something to drink? I’m not sure what we’ve got...” His words are interspersed by things clanking as he rearranges the shelves.

I have to bite back a chuckle, leaning one hip against the kitchen island. Folding my arms, I let him keep rustling around for a moment. “A soda will be fine.”

When he emerges, it’s with two drinks, a can clutched in each fist. He lets the door swing shut, sealing it with an elbow, before extending an arm a little hesitantly my way.

As if I’m about to lunge forward with punishing steel-trap jaws and snap through bone.

Those blue eyes of his waver, not meeting mine.

Instead, they hover somewhere around my jawline, and he nibbles on the swell of his bottom lip.

“Thanks.” Reaching out to take the soda from him, I use the opportunity to trap his fingers beneath mine. That brings his startled gaze flying up real fucking fast, widening at the unexpected contact and pressure from my hold. “Just breathe, snowflake. I’m not gonna bite.”

His lip curves a tiny fraction on one side, and the faintest hint of one of those golden boy dimples makes an appearance.

“Unless you want me to, of course.” I drag the can from him and click my tongue.

That seems to extract Kayce from getting caught in an internal tailspin. With a shake of his head, he slides onto one of the stools. Cracking open his soda, he tips it back and the strong curve of his Adam’s apple bobs as he downs a few swallows.

I let myself just openly watch him for a moment.

I mean, that’s why I’m here after all. I’ve been drawn to these glowing embers, and there’s no sugarcoating the fact that I effectively answered a booty call from my stepbrother.

There are a hell of a lot of things in my life that haven’t made sense, but being here with him like this doesn’t feel like it falls into that category.

Unlike so many of those pieces of unwanted, bitter debris that still float around inside my head, this feels. .. easy.

Strangely, unbelievably, it’s as if I’m meant to be in this very spot. A natural thing to be doing on a random weekend in the middle of fall. Even if Kayce does look ready to climb the walls at the prospect of what this all might translate to.

He sets his can down, and those blue eyes dart back my way as he ruffles a hand through his hair.

It’s kind of adorable, really. Which is a word I never thought I’d use for anyone, especially not another cowboy, but here we are.

Dropped right in the middle of a place where everything I thought I once knew has now been undoubtedly reconfigured.

“You doing ok?” I take a long sip of my own drink, bubbles tickling my nose as I swallow.

“Jesus. No? Maybe? I don’t even fucking know.” A hesitant laugh bursts out of him. “Why am I so nervous?”

Pushing my tongue against the side of my cheek, I let my fingers press into the aluminum for a moment before sliding it onto the countertop. There are only a couple of feet between us, and I step up to his seat at the kitchen island.

“You wanted to talk.” Reaching for the front of his stool, I turn him to face me—not missing the spark that crosses his eyes, the way he hastily gulps.

With one leg, I push forward between his thighs to part them.

Tilting my head to one side, I drop my gaze to the place where he might be in pain.

A quick check-in that it feels ok to spread his knees wider like this.

Kayce nods, not daring to breathe or take his eyes off mine. “It’s—it’s ok.”

“Good,” I murmur, wholly fixated on his mouth. “Because I don’t think I could stand not doing this any longer.” As I speak this time, my voice is much lower, thick with arousal.

Stooping a little, I hook a finger beneath his chin and give him one last look, with lust and anticipation scorching a blazing trail straight through my body. Lowering my head, I kiss him with all the conviction that he needs to taste coming from my mouth.

That familiar sweetness clings to his tongue, my pretty boy with sugar on his lips.

As our mouths glide together, it's entirely unhurried. Not frantic, or claiming, or a kiss borne out of desperation. This time, it’s languid and gentle.

I press my tongue forward, and as I slip past the seam of his lips, those gorgeous little noises he makes bubble up to meet me.

Kayce slides his palms up my shoulders to circle around the back of my neck. So much more confidently than during any of the other times we’ve been like this. Instantly weaving his fingers into the mess of curls at my nape, he drags me down to him even more, sealing us tighter together.

I lose time in that kiss. It feels like an entire conversation, with those slow glides of exploring tongues. The sweep of my stubble rasping over his skin. Each tiny hum of relief that he delivers straight to my senses.

When I pull back just enough to search his eyes with mine, Kayce’s pupils are blown out. His eyelashes flutter heavily, and I just want to splay him out on this fucking table right here in the middle of the kitchen when he looks at me like this.

“Gotten clear of all that mess inside your head now?” I let my lips remain brushed against his, wet and inviting. Famished for more where that came from.

His fingers scrape a little against my skin. With a nod, he tries to hide the cautious smile that threatens to climb all over his face.

“Then, talk to me, snowflake.” Keeping my weight braced on the back of his seat, and my thighs wedged between his, I give him a moment to find his words.

That curve of his throat works, and he shifts in place a little. His touch feels so damn good. Something about having his strong fingers wrapped around my nape is far too enticing, so I drop our foreheads together and let him keep toying with the strands of my hair.

“I don’t know what we’re doing. Or what I’m doing with any of this.” The words are raspy, quietly spoken with a soft gust of his breath against my skin. “But I don’t want to stop, either...”

Kayce’s confession hangs in the quiet room, and my heart suddenly feels incredibly fucking loud.

“Maybe I’m a little bit addicted to you.

Even though I shouldn’t be.” He shudders as the whispered admission finally drifts between us.

The pink of his tongue swipes out to run along his bottom lip, and I’m fighting the urge to chase after that motion.

Wanting to pursue his mouth with more nips and bites on that plump curve of flesh.

“Well, considering I just drove to the top of a goddamn mountain...” My lips quirk as I feel him smile beneath me. God, he’s so very pretty when he smiles. “I don’t know what this is, but maybe that’s not for us to figure out right now.”

His chin moves in acknowledgment. “I can live with that.”

“This is...” I search for a way to describe any of this goddamn confusing situation.

“Fucking complicated.” Kayce finishes my thought for me.

That makes me chuckle, and I straighten up.

Not to pull away from him, but so I can now slide my hand around the back of his head in return.

As I seek out the warmth of him beneath my calloused fingers and palm, I see the way he softens, his shoulders drop away from his ears, and he melts beautifully at that point of contact.

“To the outside world, yes.” I let my hold flex, curled around the side of his neck. “But there’s nothing complicated about the fact I’m here, ok?”

Kayce stares back at me, eyes bouncing back and forth between my own. “Do you...” His Adam’s apple dips with the effort of a heavy swallow. “Doing this—is it enjoyable for you?”

The way he stammers, all hesitancy and hopefulness, makes my cock twitch.

Letting my head tilt to one side, I study him. Perfectly cut cheekbones and freshly shaved jawline. That unruly blond hair makes him look every inch the charming golden boy.

“Is it for you?” My focus narrows on his heavy-lidded gaze.