Page 80 of Salute, To Bravery

Violet

I t had been about two weeks since the fight.

I had been ignoring all his phone calls and text messages, but I couldn’t help but read them and listen to his voice messages.

Ophelia said it was okay to set boundaries and keep my dad away.

Still, he had taught me that family was family, no matter what, so letting him go felt almost too much.

I felt the pain in my bones, in my chest, and in my throat.

Knowing he still cared hurt me even more because I knew he thought he was doing the right thing, but it wasn’t okay.

His text messages, apologies, then grew mad at me for not answering, then cussed me out.

He would threaten to commit suicide, then he would call me and leave a voice message saying that he was sorry and that he just wanted me to come home.

The cycle repeated itself.

All I wanted to do was talk to him. I knew I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I did that. I would be disrespecting myself if I did that; I would be betraying my own beliefs. So, I never answered. I never responded.

When I told the girls in my therapy group what happened, they all supported me in my decision.

They all were happy that I’d made that decision and gotten him out of my life.

He didn’t understand; he was my life. He was the reason why I joined the Air Force.

He saved me from foster care. He helped me buy my house.

He did all of these huge things for me. How could I betray him like that?

Ophelia said that this wasn’t the healthiest thing, but that didn’t matter to me.

I knew I had hurt the man who had turned his entire life upside-down to adopt me.

And I didn’t know if I could ever forgive myself for it.

I thought he was just fed up with me being selfish, and he snapped.

I couldn’t blame him for snapping like that.

I couldn’t blame him for making his beliefs known. Maybe I did need to be fixed.

I felt a buzzing next to me, realizing it was my phone, I picked it up. He was still my father.

You don’t have to be like that. I can help you. I can fix you.

“Your dad again?” Ophelia asked, handing me some lemonade and sitting next to me on my couch.

“I don’t understand why you haven’t blocked him yet.

He did threaten to send you to a conversion camp.

He said that he could fix you.” Her voice was full of rage and spite.

“Let’s just say he gets what is coming to him. ”

“What does that mean?” I asked, looking up from my phone.

“He deserved to get fired. That’s all.”

“Oh,” I looked back to the text message he sent me, “I miss him.”

“I know, my Daisy.”

I hadn’t told Ophelia he’d gotten fired. But I knew she had something to do with it. It didn’t bother me. If anything, it made me feel even more supported. I knew she had my back through thick and thin. That was the most precious gift I could ever ask for.

But I couldn’t help but ask, “How do you know he was fired?”

She froze; her face went numb, and her body tightened. Her chest was rising and falling quickly. I could see the frantic movement of her pupils.

“I won’t be mad.” I took her hand and rubbed it with my thumb.

“I might have called my Sergeant and asked him for some information about your dad,” she said slowly. “I needed to do something about him. I couldn’t let him walk away with his head held high like that.”

“I’m not mad. You don’t have to explain your actions to me. I get it. If it were you, I would’ve done the same thing. I’m proud. I love you.” The words slipped out before I could change my mind about them. I went frigid.

She smiled. “I love you, too, and it’s terrifying because what if you leave?”

“I will never leave.”

“Pinkie promise?”

“Pinkie promise.”