Page 21 of Salute, To Bravery

T he car ride wasn’t very long. Ian had insisted on bringing his jeep, which turned out was a very good idea. But his insistence on taking the doors off to drive around seemed like a very unwise decision.

“You’re trying to kill me, aren’t you?” I gripped the seat with both hands.

Ian was grinning so hard I felt his cheeks might burst. “You’re perfectly safe, relax.”

We finally arrived at a parking lot in what I felt was in the middle of nowhere. “What’s this?”

Ian pointed to the sign that read “Fantastic Caverns.”

“Caverns? Like a cave?”

Ian nodded with a grin on his face.

“You took me to a nasty, bat-infested cave? There’s no telling what kind of diseases are in there.” I crossed my arms. “What made you think this was a good idea?”

Ian laughed, only making me more annoyed. “How many times do I have to tell you to trust me before you’ll actually do it?”

I only scrunched up my face in response.

He shook his head. “Come on.”

I hesitantly followed him through the front lobby where he paid the woman behind the counter. Shortly after, he was ushering me into a weird train of cars with no tops. “Another deathtrap?”

Ian rolled his eyes. “It goes like 2 miles an hour, you’ll be fine as long as you don’t get out of it until they tell you to.”

I felt my eyes widen. “As long as I don’t get out of it? Is something going to eat me?”

Ian laughed at my joke. “Yeah maybe, although I’m sure they’d spit you back out.”

I smacked his arm, which only led to another laugh from Ian. We took our seats in one of the cars. I watched as a few groups of people took their seats in separate cars, giving us space at the back of the line.

When everyone had settled, an attendant went through and made sure everyone was secure, like some sort of amusement park ride.

The lanky teenager looked like she would rather be anywhere else.

An older man in the same uniform took the driver’s seat and pulled up the intercom.

“Good afternoon, folks, my name is Bill and I’ll be your tour through these amazing caves today…

” He continued his spiel, but I had stopped listening.

“Wait, are we driving through a cave?” I turned to Ian, who had his hands folded in his lap like the perfect schoolboy.

He just beamed in response.

“How can you drive through a cave?”

“You’ll see.” His smile just got wider as he turned his attention back to the driver. “Now be quiet, I’m trying to learn.”

I tried to hide my snicker, which turned into a snort.

Ian tried, and failed, not to react to it, but he quickly composed himself.

The ride lurched forward, and without thinking about it, I reached for Ian’s hand. “Whew, startled me.” I had my other hand on my chest.

“Anyone ever tell you that you have the disposition of an old Southern lady?” Ian teased me.

I scrunched up my face before relaxing again. I felt him intertwine his fingers in mine, and I honestly didn’t mind. The butterflies crept up in my stomach, and my breath caught. I’d always found the man attractive and easy to be around. But I never thought I’d have butterflies like a schoolgirl.

My mind briefly wandered, and I couldn’t help but be afraid I wouldn’t feel like this with my soon-to-be husband. Ian squeezed my hand, and I turned to find him staring at me, concern all over his face. I hadn’t realized how soft his eyes could get.

I mentally shook myself and put a smile on my face. He furrowed his eyebrows, asking if I was okay without saying the words. I nodded and nudged his shoulder with mine and pointed to the driver. Ian gently smiled and turned his attention back to the task at hand.

The ride through the caves turned out to be one of the most amazing experiences I’d ever had.

The only caves I’d ever been in were small and very shallow.

These were real caves with glistening walls, stalagmites and stalag-tights (which I could confidently tell the difference between now).

All the time, Ian sat quietly, running his thumb along my knuckles.

I could feel his eyes on me for most of the ride, but I didn’t bring it up.

I would just smile at him occasionally and go back to staring at my surroundings in wonder.

I sat in the tram, completely entranced by the glistening stones and dark pools of water that we passed. The driver continued to give his spiel, but none of it really registered. I’d seen pictures of huge caves like this in travel magazines, but I’d never imagined I’d see one in real life.

The tram slowed as it squeezed through a narrow passage, the walls so close that I could reach out and touch them.

“Don’t do it,” Ian whispered in my ear, causing me to jump.

“Do what?” I squeaked.

He tried to hold back his chuckle. “Don’t touch the walls.”

“I wasn’t going to!” I felt the blood rush to my cheeks as he shook his head, a huge grin plastered across his face. “But out of curiosity, why can’t I?”

He pursed his lips, trying to stifle a smile. “Because it disrupts the ecosystem. The cave will stop growing.”

“You’re serious?” I raised an eyebrow.

“Yup. A lot of caves have been killed because of people. We try to be careful now that we know what happens when we touch the walls.” His grin faltered for only a second before he gave me a reassuring nudge.

“This seems really important to you.”

“It is. Like I said, I grew up around here. Missouri is a very beautiful state, and I love being here. There’s a ton of hiking trails, caves, plains, tons of water.” His happiness no longer reached his eyes.

“So? Why don’t you come back here anymore?”

“Sometimes family isn’t blood, it’s who ya choose, Dottie.” His slight Southern accent slipped through.

I couldn’t keep the heat from my cheeks. The way he said his nickname for me always made my stomach do a little flip. “Why do you call me that?”

He met my eyes. “Because your name sounds too formal.” He was completely serious.

“My name is not too formal, Ian!” I scoffed.

“Odette? You’re trying to tell me that doesn’t sound too formal to you?”

He wasn’t exactly wrong, but I guess I’d just gotten used to formal names. “I guess I hadn’t really thought about it. You might be right.”

“Damn right, I’m right,” he said, maybe a little too loudly as it echoed off the cave walls. A few of the other passengers turned to look at him, giving him disapproving glares.

I slapped my hand over my mouth, trying to hide the fit of giggles as he awkwardly waved to the other passengers in the train, smiling apologetically.

The edges of his ears turned slightly red as he just shrugged.

He looked cute when he was embarrassed. I made a mental note to give him crap for it later.

The bright light of the surface glinted off the surface of the wet rocks, and as we got closer to the exit, all the beauty dried up with the heat of the day.

I rubbed my eyes, trying to adjust to the offending light as we pulled out of the massive cave and came to a stop in front of the gift shop.

I felt his eyes on me and turned to meet his gaze.

He, of course, had that soft smile on his lips.

“What did you think of our little cave ride-through?”

“Little? That thing is massive.” I shook my head, and his smile only got bigger.

To my dismay, he squeezed my hand before letting go. He deftly hopped out of the small train car and helped me out so I didn’t fall flat on my face.

I straightened only to realize I was only inches from him, and that earthy cologne filled my head almost instantly. I looked up to find him already staring down at me, his breath brushing against my skin.

“Seriously, did you like it?” His eyes were almost vulnerable, but there was an underlying tone to his voice I couldn’t quite place.

“Yes, Ian. I loved it. I’ve never experienced anything like it before. Thank you.” The smile on my face was genuine, but for some reason it seemed like he needed to see it.

He took a deep breath, and his normal smile returned. I could feel his mood shift almost instantly. “Good, I’m gonna make a pit stop in the gift shop, but I can meet you in the Jeep if you want?”

I nodded.

He bent down, only slightly, before stopping himself and taking a step back. He shoved his hand in his pocket before turning around and making a B-line for the gift shop. I couldn’t help but frown. He was acting odd.

I could feel something there, something between us. It’s always been there, but now we had no barriers. Why didn’t he take the chance?

I sighed and resigned myself to getting back to the car.

Turns out, everyone had to get filtered through the gift shop in order to actually leave the place.

I’d admit: it’s a pretty solid tactic to make money.

Even I couldn’t help but stop and look at the adorable stuffed bats and tacky keychains.

I briefly wondered if I should get him something, but I had no idea what he’d like.

I settled on a ridiculously expensive travel coffee mug to help fuel his addiction and made my way out to the car.

It wasn’t long before he hopped into the driver’s seat. I quickly grabbed my gift bag and handed it over to Ian only to find an identical gift bag already in his hand. He laughed before switching bags with me.

“I hope we didn’t just try to surprise each other with the same gift.” He pulled the gift paper out of the bag almost immediately. His smile grew. “Okay, not the same thing, but I literately almost bought this for myself.” He held the cup up like I hadn’t seen it before.

“So, you like it?”

“Of course I do, I need to keep my precious black gold safe and warm.” He cradled the cup lovingly, and I couldn’t help giggling.

“What are you doing?”

“Protecting the vessel that holds all my hopes and dreams.” He tilted his head at me, being dramatic. I just rolled my eyes. He finally stopped and put his mug back in the bag. “Are you gonna open yours?”

I had completely forgotten the bag in my hand, which was significantly lighter than the bag I handed him. I pulled the gift wrap out of the bag to find one of the cute stuffed bats I had been looking at earlier. The grin that spread across my face was almost painful, and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Why are you laughing?” He was smiling, but I could hear the nervousness in his voice.

“I almost bought this for myself,” I said. I pulled the little black bat out of the bag so I could feel the soft, velvety material. Suddenly, my heart clenched, and I tried to hold back the tears that threatened to spill over, but to no avail.

“Dottie, why are crying?” The hand that he had resting on the back of my seat moved to my shoulder, his voice full of concern.

I turned to answer him but couldn’t force the words to come out without crying more. I leaned forward and wrapped my arm around his neck, pulling him into a hug.

He only hesitated for a second before wrapping both his arms around me; the hand that was on my shoulder moved into my hair.

I felt his lips rest on my forehead as he stroked my hair and just let me cry.

His broad chest and long tan arms made me feel incredibly small, not that I minded, but I guess I hadn’t realized how big a man he really was until I was up close to him.

We stayed like that for a long time before I felt him move his head to the side so he could speak. “You know, if you didn’t like bats, you should have just said so.”

I couldn’t help but laugh into his chest. I pulled away from him and realized I’d gotten his shirt all wet with my tears. “Oh, I’m sorry.” I tried to wipe it away, even though it had already soaked in.

He stopped me by putting his hand on mine, pressing my hand into his chest. “Dottie.”

I finally met his eyes.

“What’s going on?”

I took a deep breath. “I always wanted a stuffed animal. No one’s ever done something like that for me before.”

He furrowed his eyebrows, then pursed his lips. He sat there a moment before shaking his head. “What do you mean you’ve always wanted a stuffed animal?” His confusion was apparent, and he didn’t bother hiding it.

“My mom would never let me have one because she thought they were dirty.” I shrugged.

“Why didn’t you just buy one when you got your own place?” He tilted his head to the side. His resemblance to a puppy made me smile.

“It just wasn’t a priority. Bills, family, work. I never took the time to go find one I wanted.” I shrugged again, looking down at our hands, still placed firmly on his chest. “I’m sorry, I don’t really know why it made me cry.”

He rubbed his thumb across my hand again. “It’s okay, I’m glad I didn’t scare you with the bat.” His tone turned sarcastic, and I gave him a little shove, a smile spreading across my face.

He smiled back and put the car into gear, ready to take us back to the RV, but only after a brief stop for burgers and “mandatory” milkshakes.

Ian apparently took his burger/milkshake combo very seriously and insisted on ordering for me.

With anyone else, I may have found it annoying, but he’d never let me down when it came to food.

Although, I was starting to wonder if this was my trip or his.

I have to admit, seeing him chow down on his fries and drinking a chocolate milkshake like a kid warmed my heart.

He was right at home, pointing out all the things he remembered from his younger years and all the things that had changed.

He hadn’t grown up in the town we were in, but close enough that this was a regular hotspot for him.

We took random little side streets until he made it back to a major road to get us out of town.

We stopped at a stoplight, and I took in my surroundings.

A few small shopping strips, a gas station, and a giant cemetery.

The giant black iron gates and stone wall were enough to draw anyone’s attention, but the rows and rows of identical white headstones gave away that it was the military cemetery.

The rows went as far back as I could really see from the car; the little flags dotted the graves in unison.

“Do they always have so many flags there?”

“They put them in for Memorial Day and leave them for a little while before taking them down so the flags don’t get ruined.

” His tone was flat. I turned from the headstones to Ian, who was looking straight ahead at the light, his hand covering his mouth.

“Why is this damn light taking so long?” His agitation seemed to seep from his skin into the air.

“You okay?”

“Fine,” he snapped. He took a deep breath as he closed his eyes. He must have sensed my surprise at his mood shift. “Sorry, I just don’t like being here.”

“Why not?” I started to reach for him, but he pulled his arm away, doing his best to not show that he did it on purpose.

“Can we not, Dottie? Please?” It was almost a whisper.

“Okay.” I pulled my hand back into my lap, overwhelmed with his sudden mood shift.