Page 73 of Salute, To Bravery

Violet

I knew Ophelia wasn’t telling me something. Especially since Leanne brought it up during therapy, and they were both crying in Leanne’s car. I couldn’t shake the feeling of curiosity and desperation.

I paced in my apartment. The sky was dark and full of invisible stars. My mind was going a million miles an hour. It felt like I couldn’t breathe.

I couldn’t breathe. All I could do was gasp for air, hoping that it would do something.

I wanted to call Ophelia. I thought Ophelia could stop this, but I knew I wasn’t freaking out about her. So, I took a melatonin and fell into a shallow sleep.

◆◆◆

I heard hateful yelling. This kind of hatred could escalate to killing someone, then try to bring them back just to have the fun of killing them again.

I only heard it when my dad yelled at one of his friends. His friends always told him the same thing, ‘get help,’ or ‘you need to stop this habit before it kills you.’

I agreed with them. His alcoholism was bad, and it always ended horribly. The drinking ended him in jail all the time, with no one to watch me. I would always hide in the bathroom when one of his friends didn’t have time to take me.

I got up from my dull pink bed and opened the door. Yellow lights flooded my vision, and I saw my father yelling at his phone. I couldn’t shake the feeling of running away, but I walked down the hallway with all my good and bad memories.

I overheard the voice on the telephone; it was Robert, as I had walked closer to my dad.Robert was dad’s friend who would take me most of the time.

Something inside told me to run, but I didn’t.

I took away the phone once the conversation was done. While doing so, my dad cursed me out because of it.

“Stop that, you little shit. I was on the phone.” His voice was full of the same hatred he had towards his friend.

I pressed the button that would end the call.

“You little shit.” He dropped the phone, making it hang from the wire, and ran at me.

I sprinted back down the hallway to the fourth door on the left and locked the door. My heart was beating so loud I thought that he could hear it through the door.

“Open up right now, before I break the door,” his voice still full of disgust, “I’m going to count to three.” He started to tap his foot impatiently.

I ran towards my white dresser and tried to move it, but it was too heavy. I tried to move my bed, but it was too heavy.

Fear crept in. I had nothing to protect myself with.

“One.”

I looked around the room and saw nothing I could move.

“Two.”

I looked around for something I could use to protect myself, but all I could find were dolls.

“Three…”

There was a pause, and the foot tapping stopped. I held my breath hoping that he would forget that I was here.

“Open this goddamn door right now.”

I opened my closet door and closed the door when I sat down in the dark. I hated the dark. I hated the unknown.

Tears fell as I heard banging. A shiver ran down my back. The banging continued for what seemed like a long time until the door finally caved.

“Where are you?”

I put my hand over my mouth and looked through the cracks of the door.

He looked underneath the bed, then the other bed where my sister used to sleep.

Then we heard a knock on the front door. My father walked out of the room. A few moments later, I heard yelling.

“You need to stop,” Robert said. “I know that it’s hard, but—”

“You don’t know how hard.” His voice was full of stones, it sounded almost scratchy. “You never will. Now get out.”

“Not until—”

“I SAID GET OUT!”

“Noah,” I heard Robert. “Don’t do this.”

“I have nothing left.”

I heard a boom, and then a crash. I heard another loud sound and another collapse.

The room went silent. I couldn’t hear anyone breathing or walking. After a few minutes of sitting in silence, I got up and walked out of the room and let out a scream when I saw red liquid spilling out of Robert and my father.

◆◆◆

I wake up, shaking and sweaty. I looked around my room for any signs of a dead body. My eyes wandered to my large hands, and I realized that I was safe. I wasn’t in my old childhood house. I was in Seattle.

I got up and paced again. I hadn’t had a nightmare in ages.

Panic fled into every movement that I made.

Calling my father was out of the question; he always had his phone on silent.

I wasn’t that close to Leanne yet. Luna—well, she wouldn’t understand.

The only person left was Ophelia. My panic started to heighten at the thought of calling her.

What if this is too much for her?

What if she won’t understand?

My mind kept repeating the what-ifs. It felt like I was all alone. I grabbed my phone and went downstairs.

I can do this.

I took a deep breath and called her.

◆◆◆

Ophelia was able to calm me. Ophelia insisted on coming over to ensure I wouldn’t have another nightmare. She said that she would bring snacks, too.

I got some shorts on and started to make myself some tea. I put on a meditation to help calm my mind even more. As I followed along, my mind kept wandering to how Ophelia was so calm, so soothing, and so sweet. Her voice was like honey—so thick yet so smooth.

About halfway through my meditation, I heard a knock on the door. I paused the video, got up, and opened it.

Ophelia came bursting in when bags and bags of food—mostly junk food.

This was wonderful.

“I didn’t know what you like,” Ophelia said as she stumbled into the kitchen, “and I didn’t want to stress you out more.”

“This is amazing, thank you. I got everything that I needed,” I said in wonder. “You are amazing.”

She looked at me with stars in her eyes, with a hurricane full of emotions. I couldn’t read them, but I knew they were there.

“I still can’t believe you’re here.”

“I would do anything for you,” Ophelia said, then she put her hand over her mouth, realizing what she said. “I-I…”

“It’s okay.” A smile crawled onto my face. “I feel the same way.”

I knew something big was going to happen. I knew I would have more nightmares in the future, but as long as I had her, I was going to be okay. We were going to be okay.

Is this what love feels like?