Page 20 of Salute, To Bravery

I nearly had to pick my jaw off the floor. I turned to look at him and he just sat there completely unbothered. “What?”

“I asked what was so wrong with being mistaken for my wife? Don’t think I didn’t notice how quickly you corrected her.”

“And don’t think I didn’t notice the slight disappointment on your face when I did so.” I snapped.

Ian pursed his lips. “You didn’t answer the question.”

I stuck the candy back in my mouth, trying to think through my words carefully before continuing. “Look,” I pulled the now-bare stick out, “I have no issues with you, okay?”

“So, it’s an issue with marriage in general?” Ian asked. He seemed genuinely curious.

I took a breath. “I just never saw myself getting married at all. It just seems pointless. Why would I give up all my hopes and dreams just to be someone’s wife?

” I shook my head before staring at the gentle hills.

“I just don’t see myself being able to sit at home and raise kids and be at someone’s beck and call.

” I took a steadying breath. “Plus, I doubt anyone I picked would be someone my family would approve of, so that wouldn’t happen. ”

Ian was quiet for a minute. “Do you really think that’s all marriage is?”

I turned to meet his eyes and found him looking at me intensely. “That’s what it is.”

Ian laughed, but it wasn’t a happy sound. “No, no it’s not.”

I raised my eyebrows. “And how would you know Mr.Love Guru.”

Ian pursed his lips. “Marriage is about loving someone, even if you never sign the papers. Nothing about marriage says you need to give up your dreams or be a housewife.” He licked his lips before continuing.

“Marriage is about finding your person that you can’t imagine living your life without.

It’s about finding that person that when you do something you automatically think “I wish that person was here with me.” It’s not supposed to be something you dread. ” He shook his head.

“Your problem isn’t with marriage. Your problem is that you have a fucked up version of marriage in your head.

What you described isn’t marriage.” He sighed.

“Unless you like the whole housewife, stay-at-home-mom gig then that would be perfect.” He waved his hand dismissively.

“Plus, you should be marrying for love, not for who is ‘appropriate.’” He made air quotes to emphasize his point.

I pursed my lips. “I’m sorry if you thought I didn’t want to be with you, I didn’t mean it that way.”

Ian grinned. “Oh, so you want to be with me?” He winked at me and again, I couldn’t help but smile.

He lightly chuckled and we kept quiet for awhile until he suddenly took another exit I wasn’t familiar with. “Where are we going?”

“There’s actually an RV park on one of these side roads. Figured we could pull off for the night and figure out what the hell we’re actually doing.” He rubbed his eyes, and I realized how tired he must have been. We drove over eight hours in one day.

Ian pulled into a small RV park tucked into the woods right off the road. He jumped out and went into the office to pay our bill for the night, then pulled into a spot located at the back of the camp.

I couldn’t help but be impressed by Ian’s driving skills. He backed the RV into the carefully marked spot with ease before I even got unbuckled.

“Have you done this before?” I hopped out of the RV to stretch my legs while he hooked up to the water and sewer lines.

“Just a few times.” He smiled over his shoulder as he finished securing the lines. He straightened up, satisfied with his work. “Well, after you.” He motioned to the side door of the RV.

I smiled and climbed up into what was the living room of the small space. I heard him messing with something on the outside of the RV before he followed me in a few short minutes later.

He climbed in and shut the doors behind him and turned to face me.

I hadn’t realized how small the space was until I smelled his cologne again.

What was worse is he was standing so close that I could feel the heat radiating off his chest. The fabric stretched across his broad chest and the sleeves clung to his biceps. Was he always so fit?

I shook my head and took a step back. “What were you doing out there?” I quickly looked down at the floor when I realized I was still staring at his chest.

And of course, he didn’t miss it. He grinned again.

“I forgot to hook up the electric. We’re good now though.

” He reached over and flipped on the lights.

“You okay? Your cheeks are kinda red.” He smiled as he slid past me into the kitchen.

He flipped a few switches on the panel next to the fridge, causing the extensions on the RV to expand, giving them more room to move.

I gritted my teeth. He knew exactly why my cheeks were red. Asshole.

“I’m fine thanks, just tired I guess.” I plopped down on one end of the small couch and took a deep breath. I didn’t realize how tired I would be from just driving all day.

Ian took the other end of the couch and reclined it, kicking off his shoes in the process. He produced a bag of chips and a couple bottles of water. “Figured you might be hungry.”

I groaned. “I didn’t buy any food for the fridge” I slapped a hand across my forehead.

Ian laughed. “It’s fine, I got some snacks at the gas station. We’ll just snack tonight.”

“It’s a good thing you brought your car.”

“See? I told you we’d need it. And you didn’t want to pay for the tow hitch.” He smiled as he offered me another handful of chips.

I rolled my eyes as I dove my hand into the bag.

I didn’t realize how hungry I was until I had taken a bite.

I flipped my footrest up and mirrored Ian by kicking off my shoes.

I fished the remote to the small TV out of the storage next to me and started surfing channels.

Oddly it reminded me a lot of what we would do at my apartment when we had the night off.

Unlike our days off, I found myself nodding off often.

I couldn’t remember what was playing on the TV from one moment to the next.

The next thing I knew, I woke up in the dark.

The TV was off, but so was the kitchen light.

I blinked a few times, trying to adjust my eyes to my surroundings.

The only light came from one of the poll lights outside the RV.

I could hear Ian’s deep, slow breathing next to me. He must have fallen asleep too. I sat up from my weird, slouched position and realized that I had a blanket on me. Ian had covered me up and turned everything off.

I smiled, and my chest squeezed at the thought.

I carefully got off the couch and gathered the blanket in my arms. It was hard to see him, but I could barely make out his sleeping form on his end of the couch.

I wondered if I should wake him so I could make his bed, but decided against it.

I gently laid the blanket over him, and he stirred just slightly.

“Thanks, Es.” He mumbled the words.

I froze, and waited until he settled before tiptoeing around him to my room. I crawled in bed and got as comfortable as I could, but I couldn’t help but wonder: who was Es?

◆◆◆

The bright morning sunlight nearly blinded me the next morning. I covered my eyes and groaned, rolling over to the other side of the bed with every intention of going back to sleep. My plans were interrupted with a quick knock on my flimsy door.

“Hey, you want some breakfast?”

I didn’t answer.

“Don’t play like you’re asleep. I heard you moving in there.”

I threw a pillow at the door, to which he only chuckled.

“It’s in here when you’re ready sleeping beauty.”

I groaned again, but I couldn’t deny the fact that whatever he was cooking smelled amazing. My stomach grumbled in response, so I gave up and scooted out of the bed.

I opened my door to find a few plates filled with bacon, eggs, and sausages. He even had a half-gallon of orange juice sitting on the counter.

“Eat up.” He pointed to a plate and set of silverware on the counter.

“Where did you get all this?” I asked as I started filling my plate.

“Oh, I went shopping while you were sleeping. Figured you might be hungry like I was.” Ian was already halfway through his plate as he sat at the small dining table.

I took a seat across from him with my own plate of food and dug in. “This tastes amazing, thank you.” I mumbled between bites. “I didn’t realize how hungry I was until I smelled it.”

Ian laughed. “Yeah, it seems you were pretty hungry.” He pointed to my plate with his fork. “You’re inhaling your food instead of eating it.”

I looked down at my plate only to realize it was already half-eaten. I sheepishly shrugged.

“Oh, by the way, your phone keeps ringing like crazy.” He casually mentioned as he finished his plate of food.

I stopped mid bite. “You didn’t answer it did you?” I tried to keep the panic from showing on my face.

“No? Why would I answer your phone?”

I relaxed a little. “It’s probably nothing, but I guess I should check it.” I shrugged and tried to remain casual, but my hands shook as I pulled my phone off the charger that was sitting behind me on the kitchen counter.

Fifteen missed calls. Mostly from my mother. There were two from my dad and one from Sophie.

I could feel Ian’s gaze on me as I fumbled with the screen on my phone. I wiped my hands on my shirt, the sweat making it difficult to hold my phone or swipe the screen for that matter. I opened my texts where I saw a number from Sophie.

Where are you?

Did you go on that trip?

This isn’t funny, answer your phone!

Your mom is FREAKING OUT.

You’ve really done it this time haven’t you?

Call me

I sighed and set my phone on the table in front of me.

“Uh, you wanna tell me what’s going on?” Ian’s face was full of concern.

“It’s nothing.” I shrugged and forced a smile on my face. I gathered our plates and took them to the small kitchen sink where I could wash them. I hoped it was enough of a distraction that Ian would drop it.

Ian slid out of the bench seat and came up behind me. He gently turned me to face him. “I know that’s a bunch of bullshit, but I’m not gonna press it.” He dipped his head down, so he’d be eye-level with me. “But when you decide to stop being stubborn and want to talk, I’m here.”

I couldn’t hold his stare and looked away first. “Really, it’s nothing. But thanks.” I again tried to smile.

He sighed as he straightened his spine. “Again, I call bullshit. I’ve never seen you act that way.” He gestured toward my phone. “You know if you’re in trouble all you gotta do is tell me.”

I laughed. “And what are you gonna do Army man? Kill anyone who hurts me?” I smirked at him.

“I’ve taken lives for a hell of a lot less.” Ian’s eyes met mine again, burning holes into me. There was no smile, and his jaw was tense.

I didn’t really know how to respond, but Ian did me the favor of going outside, leaving me standing in the kitchen alone, wondering what kind of man I was traveling with.

The day was mostly spent in silence besides the occasional ringing of my phone. After about the fifth call, I ended up sending Sophie a quick text letting her know that I was fine before silencing the device altogether.

Ian had kept a watchful eye on me throughout the day but had kept his word about not pushing the issue. Our quiet moments were usually comfortable, but today the air had been tense and our conversations short.

I sat on the couch, staring off into space as I mused over my current situation. I left home without telling anyone and I might be with a serial killer. I softly chuckled to myself for the thought.

“What’s so funny?” Ian sat at the dining table a few feet away, hunched over his laptop like he had been for the last few hours.

“Oh, nothing. Just starting to think that I watch too many true crime documentaries.” I smiled as I finally glanced at him.

His smile was soft. “So that’s what’s made you uncomfortable around me?”

I frowned. “I’m not uncomfortable. What are you talking about?” My nervous chuckle didn’t convince even myself.

Ian ran his fingers through his hair. “I’m not some sort of deranged serial killer. Dottie.” He met my eyes again.

“Then what did you mean when you said you’d killed for a lot less?”

Ian sighed before rubbing his hand across his face.

“I never explained what I did in the Army. Infantry are basically the boots on the ground. We do the dirty work, and engage the enemy. We kill the enemy.” He met my eyes again.

“I didn’t like it, I don’t ever want to do that particular part again.

I’m not a psychopath. It was us or them and I sure as hell wasn’t going to let it be us.

” He turned back to his laptop and whatever website he was digging through.

I was silent for a moment, not sure what to say to that. I had never imagined a man like Ian having a job like that. I furrowed my eyebrows again. “Wait, you went from that to being a nurse?”

Ian laughed. “Yep.”

“How did you get from that to nursing?” I raised an eyebrow, but he didn’t look at me.

“I decided I was done taking lives and wanted to save them instead.” He took a drink from his bottle of water, still keeping his eyes on his screen.

I just nodded and returned to my contemplating.

It was only a few short minutes later when Ian shut his laptop and slid out from his seat. “Okay, let’s get going.”

I tilted my head. “Going? Where are we going?”

“You didn’t plan on sitting in this RV all month did you?” Ian raised an eyebrow at me.

“Uh, I hadn’t made a ton of plans to be honest. Especially after my friends bailed.”

Ian grinned. “Grab your purse, I have a surprise for you, and I think you’ll love it.”

I didn’t hesitate and was so glad that the mood seemed to have lightened.