Page 29

Chapter 29

Ford

A cold flutter of air has me grasping at the blanket.

Wait.

How did I get in bed?

My joints are stiff and sore, so a groan sneaks out when I turn over.

Is that—?

Her bare skin glows in the fading light as she kneels in front of the woodstove.

“Did I die? I didn’t think I’d land in heaven.” The rasp in my voice feels like razor blades.

When she turns to glance at me, her caramel eyes shine with brimming tears. “Almost,” she whispers.

With a shower of sparks, she throws another small log into the growing flames, then swings the metal door shut.

Goosebumps freckle her arms when she stands that race over her chest and disappear under the edge of her bra.

She’s so fucking perfect.

But she pauses at the edge of the bed, chewing on her bottom lip as her chin trembles. “I thought you were gone. Mason said you’ve tried this before. Am I wasting my time falling in love with you?”

If I could reach her, I’d pull her close. Yet, she’s a million miles away.

Rolling onto my back, my palm presses against my eyes until stars burst in the darkness.

Of course he’d tell her.

This ain’t his fault, though. It’s all mine.

“I thought you were gone.” I can’t look at her, the thought of almost losing her hurts too much. “I couldn’t handle it. All I could see was the worst possible option.”

The bed dips when she crawls onto it, pinning the covers beneath her, she crosses her ankles and hugs her legs to her chest. “What happens the next time? If I’m out getting groceries and the phone dies again? Because that’s what it did, your stupid battery went out, Ford. I turned to you because I was scared. I needed your strength. Was that a mistake?” Her palm flattens on my chest.

“No. I want you to be able to count on me.” Hell, I want her to be safe with me. Trust me.

I’ve already ruined that.

She leans closer, her face inches from mine. “What happens if we have a baby, and I don’t survive? Are they going to grow up an orphan?”

Stabbing pain seizes my belly.

She’s thought about children with me ?

“No, never.” I have to touch her.

This could all be the last spark of my life leaving in some feverish dream.

When I reach out and brush the smooth skin of her jaw, wiping a smear of tears across her cheek, I know she’s real.

“I’d still have a piece of you to live for.” I remember Mason telling me that his kids are what got him through losing Carolyn.

“I saw your note,” she says quietly. “And you’re right. It’s like my heart is living outside of my chest.” She sniffs as her thumb rubs a slow circle over where mine beats. “Life is messy, Ford. It sucks. Horrible and terrifying things happen. We’ve both been through them. I just want to know if we can survive them together. Or do I need to move you to Florida where there’s no snowbanks?” A quivering smile tugs up the very corner of her mouth. “You could learn how to herd crocodiles and mosquitos.”

I want to laugh, but my fingers decide to thread behind her neck and pull her close enough that I can taste her.

When our lips touch, every worry and painful thought disappears into the salty flavor of her kiss.

I need more. I want our bodies to melt into one.

“Come here.” Shifting my hips, I tug the blanket up so I can feel her—

Fuck.

I’m naked?

And my hard cock is hiding nothing at this point.

The chill of her skin brushing against mine sends a shiver through me. “Frosty, you’re freezing.”

“Mmhmm. Especially these.” She leans forward and reaches behind her back to unclasp her bra. “They’re so cold they ache.” Flinging the garment away, her fingers ripple over her beaded nipples.

Gravel reappears in my throat. “I can warm them up.” My callused palm cups the round orb of her tender breast.

“Ford?” Her voice catches. “Will you promise me you’ll stay? I need to know before I get lost in you.” Her nail traces the date of October thirtieth on my chest.

A fire burns white-hot inside of me as I stroke a stray blond lock from her temple. “The last thing I remember thinking was I’d give anything to see you one more time. And if that means I have to give up my weaknesses, my self loathing, and doubts to lay them at your feet, I will.” I let the covers drop as her body settles against mine.

Her knee presses against my thighs, but this time I let her weave it between my legs.

“I promise to fight to be the man you deserve, April. I don’t ever want another night to pass that I can’t hold you.” My thumb works a slow circle over the taut bud.

Her fingers move up, leaving a path of embers as she follows the cords of my neck to tangle them in my hair. “I like that deal.”

It doesn’t take much encouragement for me to consume her lips with mine.

Every hope, every dream, all my fears and hesitations, I pour into the fierceness of my mouth.

With a moan, she melds herself against me until I lose track of where she ends and I begin.

She’s a force of nature, my very own hurricane ripping me apart piece by piece so I can rebuild a better version.

“Ford? Why are you crying?” She wipes beneath my eye, then presses her lips lightly to my nose.

“I almost missed this.” My hand wraps her waist to pull her hips, wedging my stiff cock between our bellies.

“Yea, you’d have been bummed as a ghost when I ravaged your dead body.” Lights dance in her gold irises. “Because you’ve been hiding a very big surprise.”

Her arm snakes down and wraps firmly around my throbbing length. “How, exactly, did you hide these from me?”

“April,” I growl from the shock of her touch. “It’s not exactly like I would announce that the day you got here.”

The sensation is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. It’s as if each bar is radiating its own pulse as her fingers explore.

“How many?” she breathes, pausing when she gets to the tip to swirl her palm over my leaking head.

I can hardly concentrate. “Eight,” I grunt before I grab her wrist and pull her hand up before she can make me lose control. I’m far from ready for that to happen yet.

The mischievous smile fades. “Oh. You got them after…”

“As a daily reminder.” It’s a concession that leaves a sour taste.

But her grin returns, broadening as the pink triangle of her tongue leaves a glistening invitation on her lower lip. “That means it’ll be new for both of us.”

Raising her other arm to the first, I pin them above head and roll, propping myself on my elbow above her. “I love your optimism.”

Letting myself get lost in the soft recesses of her hungry mouth, her heel works its way behind my thigh, curling to prod me.

“What else?” she pants as I work my way to the supple pulse below her jaw.

Its rapid flare races against my kiss before my teeth give it a gentle nip. “What do you mean?” I murmur to the shell of her ear.

“What else do you love about me?” She tugs one of her arms free to dig her fingers into my hair.

“Mmm, that you’re the strongest woman I know.” Licking and biting my way down her throat, I taste my way across the long curve of her delicate collarbone. “That you would take on the wild weather of the mountains of Montana to find me.”

She twitches with a giggle when my whiskers tickle over the inside of her elbow. “Maybe it was fate?”

My head shakes, meeting her heady gaze. “The first time, probably? Not the second. That was all you. You’re incredible, April.”

Fuck, I can feel the lump in my throat at the realization I was so close to losing this.

Closing my lips over the silky bud of her breast, my cock twitches when she arches against me.

I want to give her the one thing she asked for, to repaint her memories.

And mine, too.

It’s time to make new ones, not as if it’s going to be the last, but the first of many more.

A lifetime’s worth.