Page 23

Chapter 23

Ford

Pacing doesn’t help the phone ring.

Ever since Mason told me to stop being a fool, I’ve been anxious to talk to her again.

Maybe she was so upset she didn’t read the note?

I’m an idiot. I could have asked Mason two days ago to arrange for me to leave at the same time.

Instead I’m left wondering how badly she’s going to hate me by the time I make it out of here.

Drinking coffee isn’t helping to simmer my nerves. Taking a bath is a distraction, but it’s bittersweet knowing I’ve washed away the last lingering touch of her.

There’s a full charge on the cell, I’ve checked it a dozen times.

Fuck. Did I screw this up before it even started? I held her off too far and too long?

No, if I’m more than a passing fancy, she’ll call.

All these doubts are weighing me down.

One shot of whiskey will help calm me.

Okay, two.

Three.

The bottle waivers in my hand over the glass.

Better not. In the off chance she actually does reach out, I don’t want to be a slobbering mess.

That’s what she wanted, right? Someone who answers?

I can be that man.

Staring at the ceiling makes the minutes drag. I really should find a hobby for while I’m up here.

The jarring chime startles me out of a doze.

I must have nodded off.

She has no idea how happy I am to see my own number pop up on the display.

“Hey, you made it.” Relief slumps me back against the pillows.

“Ford…” She pauses. “This is weird being in your house without you. I feel like I’m, I dunno, trespassing.” Her voice is hushed.

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, it’s pretty strange here without you.” Why does the admission put a lump into my throat?

Damn alcohol.

“Are you really coming back?” Her breath catches. “I mean, what changed your mind?”

I want to say it’s because of Mason kicking me in the ass.

“You. The thought of you lying in my bed, and then having to deal with all the shit without someone there.” My elbow covers my eyes against the hazy light.

I should be there.

“Which one?” Amusement raises her tone.

“What?” That third shot wasn’t the best idea.

“Which one makes you want to be here more?” Her giggle is muffled, like she’s covering her mouth.

“Fuck, frosty, both,” I groan. “I hope this isn’t a trick question. I want to be your arm to lean on, and the one you lay your head on while you’re naked between my sheets.”

Son of a bitch, I’m hard thinking about it.

“I’d like that,” she says softly. “But why now? Why not tell me you wanted to come back with me? Or ask me to stay until you could leave?”

The look of devastation she gave me moments before she stepped onto the helicopter will haunt me.

“I didn’t know—” I take a shuddering inhale.

This is so damn difficult. I swear she already knows the answer.

Is she testing me?

“I didn’t know how much I’d miss you until you were gone.” I finally admit with a sigh.

I bet I failed.

There’s a long silence.

Did I lose the connection?

“Ford…”

I can picture her, chewing on her lip.

“I understand why you’re scared to like me—” I cut her off with a rueful laugh.

“You’re easy to like, April. The part that terrifies me is that you’d be easy to love.”

Fuck whiskey. I’m never drinking again. I should have never said that.

She swallows loud enough I can hear her.

“Would that be so bad?” she whispers.

No. Except it’s a level of agony to lose someone that’s nearly impossible to bear.

“Everyone I’ve loved has died, April. I don’t think I’d survive that again, and that’s what frightens me.” The old ache grips my chest and makes me double up on the blankets.

Roscoe whines from his spot on the floor.

He knows.

“Was there someone else besides Sarah?” Her words are calming, even if the subject is opening old wounds. “I have time before I go to the clinic.”

“It doesn’t matter. It was a long time ago, and she never knew. I always kept my distance, since she was happy.” Yet it still hurts knowing she’s gone.

“I’m sorry.” She’s quiet again. “But, look at it this way, I’m so much younger than you, statistically you’ll go before me.” The teasing lilt is back.

How does she manage to do that? Shift me away from the darkness so smoothly?

“So I suppose I should plan on giving you something to remember me by?” My palm finds my throbbing crotch, and I knead myself through my jeans.

“My memory of last night is fading, I think I need a refresher.” Her voice drops into a sultry purr.

“Besides, I freaking adore your family. You might be stuck with me whether you want to or not.”

There’s a faded knock in the background.

My heart races.

I’m not there, but I should be.

Who is it?

Another woman giggles in the background. No, two.

“Ford, I have to go. Char and Sophia are here to go with me. They’re taking me shopping for some new clothes.” She sounds so excited, it makes heat rush through me. “Thank you for letting me stay. I can’t wait for you to get back.”

“You girls have fun.” I click the button before I slip and say more than I should.

Hell, I think that boat has long sailed.