Page 17

Chapter 17

Ford

Why did it have to feel so right?

It shouldn’t. I’m too old and fucking rotten to drag her down with me.

Pepper nickers at me, pinning her ears and bobbing her head towards the cabin.

“Yea, I know, you like her better.” Even though I’m the one that takes care of you, ungrateful nag.

Alfalfa scatters when I pop the ties on it, sending tiny green dried leaves in a puff cloud around me.

Great, now I’ll itch too.

I ain’t taking another bath until she’s gone.

Gone.

Will I ever see her again?

Damn. I was in such a hurry to get her out of here, I never thought I’d want her to stay.

But those fucking lips…

Pepper jerks her nose, butting me in the chin.

“Is she trying to knock some sense into you?” April stomps the snow from her sneakers in the bare earth of the barn, clinging one of my coats around her.

“It’s too cold out here, you should go back in where it’s warm.” I turn away from her and start pumping water into the bucket.

“No. I’m not going to let you hide. Talk to me.” She drops her butt onto a bale of straw near enough to Pepper’s pen that my horse can reach her and nuzzle for a pet.

Then Roscoe has the balls to curl up on her feet.

It’s a conspiracy.

“Is this an intervention?” I can taste the sarcasm in my words.

Why am I fighting her?

Because that’s what I always do, keep everyone at arm’s length.

Saves me grief.

“Does it need to be? You’re the only person in the world that’s had shitty things happen to them?” Her hand waves. “I’m not trying to devalue your loss, Ford. I’m just trying to figure out why you insist on wallowing in the pain of the past.” Her lips purse, but the bottom one begins to tremble. “At least, I hope that’s what’s going on, and it’s not the fact that I’m ruined that’s pushing you away.”

Oh, I fucked up. Big time.

I let the bucket drop and rush over, dropping onto my heels in front of her.

Her fingers are freezing when I pull them into my palms. “That is not the case at all. It’s me, I’m broken, frosty.” My chest aches knowing I’m hurting her.

It’s for the best. She’ll be happier in her life without me in it.

With a sharp yank, Pepper grabs the brim of my hat in her teeth and rips it off my head. Nodding her own, she proceeds to beat me with my own Stetson.

“For fuck’s sake.” I toss up my elbow to block her assault, while April breaks out into a peal of giggles.

“She knows you’re full of shit, too.” April stands, rescuing my battered hat with soothing words towards the mare.

When she faces me, she presents it like a slobbered trophy. “Maybe, just for today, you can pretend that you like me. Let me think that there’s someone in this world who wants what’s best for me? Is that a big ask, Ford?” Her blond hair tufts around her head in the breeze, a golden aura backlit by the morning sun.

Her smile is a beacon, the shine of held tears in her honey eyes beg me to give her any sign of hope.

It stirs a drive in me to give her anything she wants.

My worn hat finds its home on my head, and I do my best to return a lopsided grin. “Yea, that’s the easiest favor I’ve ever been asked.” I pull her in, hugging her to my chest, burying her against my throat.

If only she could feel the way my heart beats faster when I hold her. Or that she’s been the first glimmer of anything besides pain that I’ve felt for years.

She rubs her cheek against me then pulls away. “You’re itchy.” Her nail peels an alfalfa leaf off of her chin. “Oh.”

“It kinda exploded. I just have to give Pepper her grain and the last of the water if you wanted to go to the cabin. I promise I won’t take long.” I’ll do my best to make today a good one, I swear.

“Can I feed her?” She bounces on her toes, already moving towards the bin and scoop.

“Sure, she likes you better anyhow.” And just when I thought I had one friend left, Roscoe hops up and follows April.

Like he’s her dog.

They see her like I do.

Full of vigor, laughter, and tenacity. She’s a stubborn force of nature, stronger than any storm.

She didn’t beat the odds to survive, she stacked them in her favor and reset the board.

I bet once she’s out of here, she hits the ground running.

She better not look back. Someone like me, I’d only hold her down.

Watching her beaming smile as she drops her forehead to Pepper’s, it makes the chill of the wind fade away with the warmth of her raw emotion.

Fuck, I can’t just stare at her all damn morning.

Turning to the pump, I get the last of the water and pour it to my ungrateful horse, who’s lost in the gaze of the girl petting her.

“Ready?” I hold out my palm, a peace offering to April.

She slips hers against it, and lets me squeeze her fingers to tug her towards the house.

The wind isn’t as bad as it’s been, but it still bites through me.

I’m glad I loaded the wood pile up when it was calm.

“Oh, damn.” April stomps the snow from her shoes and slides them off. “I didn’t use the hot water last night.” She hangs up her coat, then stands over the tepid bath before looking up at me. “Do you think if I poured in more, it would be warm enough? Or start over?”

“Might want to let some out at least. I’ll get the pots boiling.” The kettle has almost evaporated.

I forgot I started that before I rushed out.

What an idiot, running from a kiss.

Maybe she’ll give me a chance to make it up to her.

She smashes her sleeve up her slender arm and reaches in to pull the plug. “Brr. Yea, that’s just gotta go.” Giving me a sheepish smile, she shakes her hand off, then wipes it on the nearby towel.

I hand her a cup of coffee and she curls her feet under her on the edge of the mattress. “So, when do you finish up here? Like, rejoin the rest of the world?” Her lips purse to blow softly over the steaming rim.

“As soon as the snow melts. March probably?” I dig out a couple of granola bars and toss one to her.

Her bottom lip sticks out as she peels the foil back, then pensively takes a bite. “Am I going to get to see you again?”

Hmm.

I swore I wouldn’t push her away today.

“If you want to? I’m sure by then you’ll have forgotten all about me.” I flash her a smile, then ball up my garbage.

Her nose wrinkles. “Funny guy. I’m serious.”

“You’re gonna have more than enough on your plate when you get out of here. I promise I’ll be the last thing on your mind. But maybe next summer, if you’re in this neck of the woods, we can meet at Val’s for a beer.” I give her a smile, but see the corners of her mouth drop.

“You can introduce me to your new guy. Someone who appreciates how fucking strong you are.” My voice drops as I struggle to choke out the words. “You deserve someone who appreciates how you fight for what you want. How you’d take on a fucking blizzard for a chance at success.” I swallow the last of my coffee. “There aren’t many women like you. Yea, I’d like to meet him, make sure he’s worthy.”

I might need another cup full to knock this damn lump out of my throat.

Her eyes widen and her brows knit. “Wow. It’s a good thing you’re cute.” She shakes her head and stands, setting her empty mug on the counter. “Can you help me with the hot water, please?”

“Of course.” I pick up the first pot, carefully carrying the steaming container away from my body.

After I dump it, I set it on the floor and grab the second.

But once that one is empty, and I turn back, it clatters when I drop it.

Breasts with tight nipples.

Curly blond pussy hair.

She’s fucking naked.

Quickly, I avert my eyes. “April? What the hell?” I’m trapped in the corner with nowhere to turn.

I catch her bare shoulders rise and fall.

“Well, I mean, if you’re not interested, there’s no sense in being shy. I need to take a bath.” She slowly saunters to me, stopping only when the taut buds of her chest are pressing against my belly.

Blood rushes to my groin.

Thank God, my jeans are snug enough to keep my cock in check.

“I figured I’d give you a happy memory before I go.” The corner of her full lips turn up, then she slips past me to the edge of the tub.

A long, slow moan escapes her as she sinks into the sultry basin.

She’s giving me a slow death, one gasping sound at a time.

“That is cruel and unusual punishment, frosty,” I groan, moving to the stool near the door.

I have to readjust myself before I sit so my dick doesn’t pinch in my zipper.

But she’s right.

The image of her, the long swell of her hips, the full globes of her luscious breasts brazenly flaunting the dark areolas…it’s seared in my brain.

I don’t think it’d be possible to ever forget it.