Page 84 of Ruin

The look on his face as he catches the ring—raw hurt, confusion—nearly breaks me.

“You said you wouldn’t take it off until—”

“Until the altar. But to get there, you have to do some things first.”

“I know, Gi. That’s what I’m trying to do. School, Demonio business, Councilman Donovan. Every fucking day I’m moving us closer.”

I feel like I’m going to cry. I move to him, frame his face in my hands, make him look at me.

“Tommy Demonio, listen to me. FUCK all that. All I want is for you to spend time with me. Make breakfast on the weekends. Order takeout and watch movies. Spend my birthday with me.” I pause and look at him meaningfully. “Come to dinner at my parents’ house, and talk to my dad about making me your wife—not because you need his permission but because it lets me know that you’re serious about us.”

He looks down at the ring in his hands and shoves it back at me. “I’m not asking him for shit.”

I steel myself, forcing myself not to cry. “Fine. I want to talk about moving closer to NYU for grad school. Closer to my friends.”

He scoffs and looks at me like I’m crazy. “You want to spend more time drinking with Lexi?”

“I don’t want to spend another year choosing between being miserable without you here or crashing at Lexi’s .”

“Gi, I don’t have time to talk about this right now. If you want to get married, I need to secure our position.”

“Fuck our ‘position!’ I wantyou. It’s really fucking simple, Tommy!”

His jaw flexes. He steps close, hands on my shoulders, voice dropping low. “Everything I do is for you. For our babies.”

“Babies? Tommy, do you realize that you have been fucking me for more than two years with zero birth control and we’ve never gotten pregnant? Though you have barely touched me for months other than to fuck me when you wake up in the morning, you’re still coming inside me and nothing ishappening.”

Finally, he looks rattled, like the thought never occurred to him. “You think that’s my fault? Or yours?”

My stomach twists. This isn’t how tonight was supposed to go.

“Tommy,” I whisper, “if we want babies, we need to go to a doctor and figure out why we aren’t getting pregnant. If we want to get married, you need to talk to my father. This is about showing up. For me. For us. I need you to show up.”

His phone buzzes, and he sighs, then kisses my forehead. “Get ready for dinner. I’ll meet you at your parents’ house.”

I’m seething. “Do NOT be late, Tommy.” The front door clicks shut. “I’m serious, Tommy!”

I already know he’s going to ghost me. Again.

34

Giovanna

Rain streaks across the windshield in sheets as Lexi merges onto the highway. I lean my forehead against the cool glass, watching the blur of streetlights, trying to breathe through the knot in my chest.

“Girl, what the fuck is wrong with you?” Lexi shoots me a look, eyeliner sharp even in the dim glow of the dash. “You’re twenty-fucking-one, and you’re out without your guard dog! Fuck Tommy!”

Not only did Tommy not show up on time, he didn’t show up at all. I lied to my parents, told them he called, that an emergency came up. I’m sure something came up, but he sure as fuck didn’t call.

“You are about to have a club full of hot eligible studs buying you drinks all fucking night long, courtesy of moi!” She screeches up to the club and slams a kiss on my cheek before tossing the keys to the valet and pulling me out of the car.

The club is a wall of noise, bass pounding through the floor and into my bones. We squeeze toward the bar, neon lightsslicing through the haze. Lexi slaps the counter and shouts over the music.

“Birthday girl here! 21 tonight!” It doesn’t take long for Lexi to convince the bartender to give us a round for free.

He smirks, lines up shot glasses, and soon strangers are passing more our way, chanting happy birthday. I’m no stranger to drinking, and while I’ve been known to drink pretty heavily while waiting for Tommy to come home, I don’t usually down shot after shot.

“Enough,” I protest, shaking my head when a tall blond guy slides another in front of me.