Page 135 of Ruin

“Was I always a job to you, Antonio? Like from the beginning?”

Antonio shakes his head but looks down at the counter between his beer bottle and his chest. “No.”

“When did it change?” I keep pacing back and forth, back and forth from the kitchen island to the couch. Click, click, click.

“When it got out that Tommy fucked you in the bathroom on our date.” His tone is dull, lifeless.

I sigh. “He didn’t, though.”

He rolls his eyes. “Well, I walked in on him wiping his mouth and smirking and you looking freshly fucked, and it wasn’t because of me, so.”

“Okay, fine. I get why you wouldn’t say anything in the beginning, but once the relationship with Tommy ended and you showed up here on Christmas with Chinese food, why didn’t you tell me then?”

Antonio shrugs, lifts his chin, looking at me like I’m a child demanding answers of him that he doesn’t owe. “At first, I thought we might have a real shot. Later, when it was clear you were still hung up on him, I didn’t think you would listen. Or care.” His lips twist as his eyes flick toward me, sharp and accusing. “I was right, wasn’t I? Aurelio threatened you, threatened your parents, but the only thing you heard were the threats to Tommy. You wouldn’t have given a shit if Iwas killed over it.”

I bark out a humorless laugh. “Don’t give me that. That whole year we were hanging out before we officially got together, you were fucking other women. So don’t pretend you were really giving us a try.”

He grips the beer bottle and pins me with an earnest, unflinching gaze. “If you had been sleeping with me, I wouldn’t have touched anyone else. I know you think I’m an asshole, and you’re right, but if you had cared, if you’d tried at all, I would’ve too.”

I stop pacing and lean against the back of the armchair. Fine. I was an asshole, too, fucking with Tommy on my dates with Antonio, allowing Antonio to hang around when I knew I was still in love with Tommy. We were both using each other.

I steady myself, taking a long breath. “Where’s your girlfriend in all this? I don’t know how you convinced her to be okay with us living together, but I imagine she’s not thrilled that you are engaged.”

His lip curls, his eyes going sharp and cold. “Non-issue.”

“What does that mean? You were at her house all those nights you didn’t come home, weren’t you?”

Antonio drains the rest of his beer and slams the bottle on the counter. “What, are we friends now?” he sneers.

“If Tommy were in your position, and I was the girlfriend,” I say quietly and clearly, “I’d end the fiancée.”

The sneer slips, but his expression is strange, like he’s holding something back. “If she actually gave a fuck, you might have to worry about that. But she left me about a year ago. The night you found out about her, actually. I told her that you knew about her, and she told me it was over.”

My brow furrows. “Did she prefer sneaking around?”

He gives a bitter laugh and gets a beer out of the fridge, opening it against the marble counter. “Oh, she definitely likes sneaking around. Turns out, she was someone else’s mistress, too.”

I blink. “While she was seeing you?”

He lifts the bottle in a mocking toast, drains it in one go. “Yep.”

Something in me softens despite myself. “Fuck. I’m sorry,” I mutter. But then the absurdity of it all slams into me, bubbling up in a shaky laugh. I clap a hand over my mouth but can’t stop. Antonio stares at me like I’ve lost my mind.

“No, I’m not laughing at you,” I say quickly, waving a hand between us. “I’m laughing at all of this. I mean…I’m apologizing to my fiancé because his girlfriend cheated on him while I was with him but in love with someone else. It’s just—”

“Fucking weird,” he finishes. His grin is sharp but real, and for a second we’re both laughing.

“So where were you this whole past year? You were almost never here.”

He leans against the counter. “I worked. Crashed with friends. Hooked up some. Spent a couple nights in the hospital.”

I wince. “Tommy?” I ask, remembering what Vin told me.

Antonio frowns. “No. We hated each other, sure, and we definitely got in our share of fights. But someone always stepped in before it got too far.”

“But Vin said—”

Antonio cuts me off with a scoff. “Don’t believe everything Vin says. That guy talks more than he thinks.”