Page 126 of Ruin

The difference between this year and last year is that last year, my assistant Una went MIA for most of the event and left me to my own devices. Without someone forcing me into fake conversations and with Giovanna flitting around with Lexi and not Antonio, I could indulge my obsession and just drown in her details.

This year, Una won’t leave me the fuck alone.

“You’re crankier than usual today,” she says, and I think she might be trying for a joke, but she keeps maneuvering me into situations where I can’t see Giovanna over the person’s shoulder. I’ve lost her again in the crowd, and as much as I like keeping her in my eye line, I can’t risk actually runninginto her.

Simone Ashford, one of Assemblyman Donovan’s lawyers, just pulled me into a chat, as Una flanks my right shoulder, tapping away on her phone. She usually takes notes on these conversations for me. I have a great memory for detail, but I have to actually be paying attention, and that’s just not something I can do when Giovanna is in the room.

Simone Ashford is all sharp edges, the kind of kingmaker that every politician dreams about having on his team. Her long bob is shiny and cut like a razor, her hair colored the exact same shade of brown as her long nails.

She’s wearing a gold dress similar to the one that Giovanna wore to this event the year that I fisted her in the bathroom. Simone is talking about an expansion project with the shipping terminals that I’ve been stalling because Vin is working on building his contacts with the Irish mob that runs the docks, but all I can think about is Giovanna’s face when she finally let me push all five fingers inside her. How she looked with her legs spread wide, her period staining us both red with her blood.

“You should really speak with my intern. She’s been handling most of the groundwork. Giovanna—”

The name detonates inside me, zip lining me back to the present moment. Una stiffens beside me. My obsession with Gi is no secret from her; she’s seen the worst of it, and she knows it’s never good for work when my focus is on her.

Una interrupts her. “I’m sorry, but Mr. Demonio really needs to go speak with—”

“Nonsense. She’s right here. Giovanna!” Simone smiles over my shoulder and waves her over.

And there she is. Giovanna. My sweet girl, walking towardme with a folder in her hands, looking like every sleepless night I’ve spent since I let her go. My pulse kicks into a sprint.

Simone beams. “Giovanna’s been pulling double time on this. She can walk you through every angle.”

I cut her down with a look and a voice sharp enough to draw blood. “I don’t need anything from her.”

Simone blinks, startled, and Giovanna freezes, her fake smile on her face as her eyes flash angrily at me.

Una slides her hand into the crook of my elbow and gently tugs as she gives them a sheepish grin and shakes her head in commiseration. “I’m sorry. Long day! But we’ll certainly make our way back around before the end of the night.”

We won’t.

At least an hour passes before I can finally escape Una for a minute, taking a break from the relentless conversation in the back hallway by the bathrooms.

When I look up from my phone, Giovanna is standing in front of me, hands on her hips. It’s all I can do to avoid smiling. Even when she’s angry with me, I’d rather be with her than do anything else.

“How dare you,” she hisses, her voice low and fiery.

“Don’t start with me, Gi.” The words feel like broken glass scraping my throat.

“You need to stop this bullshit. I’m not going anywhere. You’re going to see me around, so learn how to be fucking civil. You smile at men you want dead; you play nice with politicians you despise. Why can’t you do the same with me?”

I laugh, bitter as poison. “If you want to yell at someone, go find your little fuck toy boyfriend. Where is he tonight,anyway? Shouldn’t you be on his leash? Or maybe he’s waiting to fuck you in one of the back rooms later—”

“He doesn’t fuck me at all.” Gi looks like she regrets saying the words as soon as they are out of her mouth, but they stop me cold, the floor vanishing beneath me.

“What?” My heart slams against my ribs. “I saw your marks on him, Giovanna.”

Her laugh is humorless. “Do you mean almost a year and a half ago when I broke a wine glass on his face? Otherwise, he has other… outlets.”

The rage floods me so fast my hands shake, and I have to close my eyes for an extra second to process what she’s telling me. “He’s cheating on you? And youstay?” My voice is cracking, feral. “I missed one fucking birthday dinner and you throw away a connection that is written in the fucking stars, but this asshole fucks other women and you stay?”

She shrugs like none of it matters. “I wasn’t sleeping with him. I can’t really expect him to wait around forever.”

I want to tear my own skin off. “What the fuck, Gi? How long?”

“Honestly? The whole time, I think.”

“And he never tries or—”