Page 79 of Ruin

Olivia is a girl that my family took in a few years back when her father’s death on the job left her an orphan.

“Isn’t she 10?” Gi asks, irritated.

“No,” I say, putting my phone away. “She’s 10 years younger than me, so she’s 14 now. Is that too young? When do women start their period?”

Gi waves her hand, dismissing me. “Whatever. I’ll just text the driver to pick some up. Go talk to people who have no idea that I’m in your life. Go sign up for another degree program without telling me. Go live your fucking life without me.”

I frown. “Why would I talk about you at work? You know I don’t do personal conversations.”

Gi slams her bag on the counter. “I’m not something personal, Tommy! I’m your girlfriend. These people see you more than I do, and they don’t know I exist? That doesn’t send the message that I’m important to you, and it doesn’t make me feel very good about our relationship.”

I sigh and move closer to her, running my palms lightly up and down her arms. “Gi, when I’m at work, I’m focused. Ihave to be. If I’m thinking about you all the time, I’m going to come find you, and I can’t do that every day.”

“When was the last time you did?” Her eyes shine, hard and furious. “When was the last time I came first for you? I didn’t even know you were signing up for a PhD program. Do you get that? I live with you. I sleep with you. And I don’t even know what school you’re going to. It’s fucking embarrassing and tragic, and I just—I don’t know, Tommy.”

I’m stunned. “Nothing I’ve done was meant to hurt you, Gi.”

She rolls her eyes. “I know, Tommy. You’re nottryingto hurt me. Trust me, it’s the only reason I’m still with you considering this bullshit started, what, like six months into our relationship. But you’re nottryingto be with me, either.”

“I don’t know what that means. I am with you. I don’t need to try to be with you.”

She whirls on me, slapping her bag against my chest. “Yes, Tommy, you do. We live together, but we never see each other.”

I flip back through my memory like pages in a book. I feel like we’ve seen each other: I sleep next to her when I’m home, grabbed coffee in the kitchen together at least once recently, I think. We took a shower together a couple weeks ago. We’re here now. But I have a feeling that pointing those things out won’t make her happy, and that’s all I want to do.

“I see you right now, Gi.” She’s stiff, but she lets me pull her into my arms. “The most beautiful woman in the room. The one who makes me better every time she looks at me. If I haven’t made it clear that you’re everything to me, let me show you right now.”

She exhales hard and purses her lips. “Tommy, I don’t wantto get fucked in the women’s bathroom. I told you, I’m on my period. And you can’t fix everything with sex.”

I tip her chin up. “We don’t need fixing. We’re perfect.”

Her eyes flash. “We’re not—”

“We are.” My voice is rough, final. “And I’m going to fuck you right now, Gi.”

“This is a public place!”

“That matters?” I rip her dress over her head, toss my jacket aside. Fuck, she’s only wearing a lacy pair of panties and high heels. I’m instantly hard. “You’re mine, which means I fuck you when and where I want.”

“What if people come in?” She’s breathless. Even when she’s furious, she still wants me.

“I don’t fucking care,” I snarl, rolling up my sleeves. “They can join if you want them to or leave. But this pussy is mine.”

“This isn’t what I meant when I said I wanted to be known as your girlfriend, Tommy.” She gasps as I drop to my knees, rip the crotch of her panties, and bury my face in her pussy without preamble, eating her and getting her all over my face. “Oh my God! I’m bleeding. How many times do I have to say it! That’s disgusting!”

I look up at her and grin, as her jaw drops at the blood I’m sure is all over my mouth, teeth, chin. “There is not one single thing that’s disgusting about you. Spread your legs.”

She does as she’s told, breathing hard, and I push two fingers inside her while I lick and massage her clit with my tongue. The taste of her blood makes me wish I had my knife, that I was carving that Shenzhen Nongke orchid she loves so much into the soft skin of her inner thighs. The idea makes me feral, and I go from two fingers to four.

For the first time, she doesn’t stop me. She’s so wet withblood and her arousal, her walls so pliable, that her body molds to my hand. I watch her face, both of us locked on as I fuck her slowly.

I curl in my thumb and push my fist inside her. She gasps as I stay locked onto her, watching every blink, every twitch, every movement on her face. Her opening is tight and resistant, but I keep fucking her, rubbing her clit. When I sneer and push deep inside her, her eyes glass over and her jaw drops.

“Tommy!”

“That’s it, sweet girl.”

Inside her, I find that spot she likes with my fingertips and move around it in a circle, hard then harder, until her legs quake violently. “Tell me you like it. Tell me you love when I fist you.”