Page 4 of Ruin

She pauses, her mouth next to mine and whispers, “Tell me what you want to do to me, Tommy.”

I again imagine smearing her pink lipstick with my cock, but instead of acting on it, I steel my resolve, summoning every bit of self-restraint I have.

“Time’s up, sweet girl,” I say, squatting to grip her around the backs of her soft thighs and lifting her onto my shoulder.

“Oh my God, fucking put me down, Tommy! Seriously!Put me down!” She sounds terrified, and I smile to myself.

“Are you going to be a good girl and put your arms into the sleeves if I do?” I ask calmly.

Gi writhes against me, trying to get down, and I grip the back of her thighs harder with my forearm, digging my fingers in to keep her from falling off my shoulder.

Her voice is almost desperate. “You don’t want me showing my ass, but you’re going to carry me out with my ass literally hanging out of my dress?”

I turn my head slightly and see that she’s right. Her plump, round ass is right next to my face, her thong exposed, the hem of her dress and the hoodie pushed up to her waist.

I suck in a breath to stop myself from sinking my teeth into her bare ass. Luckily, we’re still facing the corner of the rooftop, the rest of the party behind me. They can certainly see what’s happening, but they can’t see her ass unless I turn around.

“It’s your choice, Gi,” I say, waiting calmly, watching the storm clouds move across the dark sky lit up by the city lights. I glance at my watch. 11:57 pm. Three minutes to midnight. The countdown in my head starts automatically—180 seconds, 179, 178… “Decide how you want to bring in the new year.”

She mumbles something I can’t hear.

“What’s that?” I ask.

She wriggles a bit more but not fighting against me, and I realize she’s trying to put the arm not pinned under her through the sleeve. It only takes a minute, and she succeeds immediately reaching down and slapping my ass hard. I don’t hate that. “I’m doing it, Tommy. Now Put. Me. Down.”

Keeping my arm around her, I let her body slide down thefront of mine till she’s steady on her heels then cage her back in, one arm on either side of her. I lean down so that my face is inches from hers. I nod my head toward her other arm, and she sulkily shoves it through the sleeve and waves her hand in my face petulantly once it’s through.

“Good? Now let me go.”

I keep my arms in place, holding her against the wall next to me as the seconds pass. My expression is cold, daring her to defy me. She holds my gaze, her eyes flashing angrily.

Slowly, her face starts to soften, and I realize that what started as a stand-off has evolved into us staring into each other’s eyes. Even with that realization, I can’t break away. The pull toward her is like gravity: fundamental, inescapable, a law of physics. I want to kiss her, want to wrap my arms around her, pick her up and carry her downstairs, start the new year balls deep inside her.

But I don’t move. I still have nothing to offer her, and I can’t risk her leaving me while I’m busy putting together an empire to present to her. In my entire life, I’ve never struggled so deeply with an emotion at war with clear logic.

Yet I know that if I move out of her way, some other guy is going to swoop in and take her from me. It’s a mathematical certainty. I can’t let that happen either.

“What do you want, Tommy?” Giovanna whispers, pulling the cuffs of the sleeves over her hands and hugging her arms around her chest.

My heart clenches.I just want you, sweet girl.

I drop my arms to my sides and stand to my full height, stepping out of her way and keeping my expression blank.

Biting her bottom lip, her eyes well up with tears as she looks up at me. “Fuck you, Tommy.”

Yanking the hem of my hoodie down so that it covers her dress and the top of her thighs, she shoves past me.

The crowd begins to count down loudly together: “10, 9, 8, 7…”

Tony steps into Giovanna’s path and bends to look her in the face, then reaches out to brush her cheek with his fingertips. She swats his hand away and snatches the drink he’s carrying, throwing it back in one gulp as she pushes past him. She sits down heavily on the closest chair, glaring at me.

“6, 5, 4…”

Tony stands next to her tentatively, following her gaze to me in confusion then back to her as she wipes the back of her hand across her cheek. She barks something at him, and he looks at me and scowls, then heads back to the bar.

I pick up my hat where it fell on the floor, and put it on backwards the way she likes, almost as an apology. I lean into the corner where I had her pinned, resting my arms along the metal railing that lines the brick walls and crossing one ankle over the other, holding her gaze. She stares back at me, angry and sad.

“3, 2, 1! Happy New Year!”