Page 9

CHAPTER EIGHT

SAFE ZONE

RHODES

Then

I crawled into bed and pulled the covers to my chin. I needed to spend my Sunday catching up on homework, and I would, but first, a nap. I closed my eyes, thinking of the way Elle looked in her tank and shorts when I left her dorm room last night. I couldn’t stop sneaking looks at her body and she couldn’t stop talking about Alfie, the guy who kept flirting with her in one of her classes. She didn’t actually talk about him all that much…it just stood out and made me feel weird. Sometimes I wondered if she talked about guys just to see my reaction. She pointed out cute girls all the time and asked what I thought of them and I tried to change the subject every time because it felt disloyal to her.

I was still trying so hard to keep it straight in my mind that we were just friends. College pact and all that.

Sometimes the lines blurred. There were times when it seemed she was trying to prove to both of us that we were just friends, and times when I saw the way her eyes lingered on me longer than usual too.

My phone woke me up a while later, vibrating under the covers next to me. I picked it up and tried to focus, but the room was dark and quiet and my eyes were still blurry from sleeping for…geez, I’d been out of it for a few hours.

Elle

Meet me at The Big Kahuna in twenty?

I grinned at my phone and hopped out of bed, stumbling to the bathroom. Groaning, I snapped a picture of my bedhead and fingered through my waves, touching up the out-of-control areas with a product from my mom’s line. When I was happy with the results, I texted my mom really quick.

Hey, Mama. I’m gonna need more of this new product you gave me to try. Game-changer. I looked like shit and now I look like your son. :)

Mama

Let me see that sweet face .

I smirked and sent her the bedhead picture and then took one of the new and improved look.

Mama

Lord, have mercy. This product works miracles! I’ll send you more right away.

I chuckled to myself and then knowing her so well, I waited only a second before the second text came through and laughed harder.

Mama

You know I think you’re perfect no matter what, baby. But that second shot sure is prettier. ;) You doing anything fun tonight?

Just hanging with Elle.

Mama

Sounds like that’s your favorite thing to do these days. You got any updates for me?

Still just friends, Mama. That’s how we like it.

Mama

If you say it enough times, you’ll start to believe it, right?

I stared at that text a little too long. As usual, I was shaken up that my mom could always see right through me. I hadn’t admitted anything to her, but she just knew.

Still, I wasn’t ready to admit anything now either.

JUST FRIENDS.

Mama

Whatever you say, my sunshine. Love you.

Love you too, Mama.

I scrolled to my thread with Elle. What if I pushed a little bit…just to see if maybe I wasn’t the only one feeling something?

I’ll see you there, Benton. I wouldn’t complain if you’re wearing those shorts you wore last night.

She didn’t miss a beat.

Elle

Have you felt how cold it is out there today? I don’t think so!

I smirked. Purposely missing my point or not? It was hard to tell with her.

The noise was jarring when I walked inside The Big Kahuna. I scanned the tables, nodding to a few people who said hi across the bar. This had become one of our favorite places to grab pizza and, depending on the noise level, study or play a game of darts…or just hang in the booth in the back and talk for hours.

When I got to our booth, Elle was there already and her face lit up when she saw me.

The thought hit me hard and certain: I’m going to tell her how I feel.

If there was any chance she felt the same way about me, I didn’t want to waste another moment. I didn’t need to do the whole sow wild oats shit just because I was young. Some people found their person when they were young .

“Hey,” she said, leaning forward. “I ordered our favorite, Hawaiian with jalapenos.”

I bumped her fist and made a big deal of checking out her legs under the table and acting disappointed when I saw them covered in leggings.

She laughed and lifted her shoulder. “It’s chilly out there!”

“You cheer in this weather...what’s the difference?”

Her full lips puckered as she frowned. “Yeah, when I’m constantly moving it’s not so bad. Are you trying to attack my clothing choices too? I’m showing too much skin for my parents, too covered up for you and Delaney…”

“You look great no matter what you wear,” I said, meaning it. “But last night’s outfit was my favorite.”

She giggled. “Okay, noted.”

Our pitcher of root beer came and I filled our mugs to the top.

“I have something to tell you,” she said, clanking her glass to mine.

“Oh yeah?” I allowed myself to look at her the way I wanted for once and she faltered for a second, pressing her lips together.

“Do I have something on my face?” She frowned.

“What? No.” I laughed. “You look as beautiful as ever.”

It wasn’t unusual for me to tell her she was beautiful and I knew she thought I was attractive too. Maybe a little too attractive if anything.

She flushed a little and grinned. “You’re looking at me funny tonight.”

I lifted my eyebrows, smiling at her until she sighed and gave her head a little shake.

“ Anyway …” She cleared her throat and set her mug do wn. “Alfie asked me out!” Her voice rose at the end, giddy.

I sat up and ran my hand over the back of my neck. Did I just hear her right?

“He’s cute and safe and…he feels like a good way to put Tristan out of my mind for good.”

“Tristan?” I echoed. “You’re still…hung up on Tristan?”

“Yeah, I’ve been out with other guys, but I haven’t been with anyone since Tristan, and I need to get back on that horse.” She laughed and jumped when our waitress set the pizza in front of us.

“And Alfie’s the guy you want?” I asked, feeling the steam from the pizza as I leaned in.

“We’ve talked about this, how we want to have fun in college and not get stuck in anything that would hold us back, right? You’ve said that as much as I have.”

I regretted ever saying those words right now. “But why Alfie?”

She leaned close enough to whisper across the booth. “Honestly? Because I don’t see forever with him. At all. And that’s exactly what I need right now. You know? I had sex with Tristan thinking we were getting married …” She shook her head and looked down at the pizza like she’d forgotten it was there. “It feels so twisted now. The whole thing. I’m not saying I want to have sex with everyone I go out with,” she said under her breath. “But I don’t know…I’m trying to figure things out still about what I believe about all of it, and…Alfie seems like a nice, safe bet.”

“Elle, I—” I took a deep breath. “I’m not going to try to talk you out of getting over Tristan. You know how I feel about that bastard. But going out with someone because they’re not who you want to be with forever doesn’t feel like the right move either. Just…don’t make any rash decisions wi thout thinking it through, okay? I…I care about you so much and I want you to be okay. You don’t have to figure it all out right now. Yes, you should go out, have fun, dance all you want to…”

“I do have fun when we go dancing,” she said, raising her eyebrows.

So far the only time I’d gotten my hands on Elle was when we danced. There had been a couple of parties that we’d gone to, and inevitably, we’d end up dancing together for hours. For someone who had been sheltered for most of her life, the girl could dance better than anyone I’d ever danced with, and the best part was that she’d claimed that dancing was our “safe zone.”

I was pretty sure she’d felt how hard she made me when she ground against me on our last dance night, but she didn’t call me out on it, and I didn’t want to say anything that made her stop rubbing that sweet ass against me.

“Except I’ve already said yes to going out with Alfie,” she said, doing a little dance in her seat, “and I think you should say yes to Maren. That girl is dying to go out with you, and she’s really nice.”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m not into Maren, Elle.”

“Yeah, but you agreed that she’s pretty.”

“Lots of girls are pretty. That doesn’t mean I’m into them.”

“What happened to you being footloose during your freshmen year?”

“Maybe that’s not the most important thing to me anymore,” I said.

I looked at her and willed myself to go there…to say the next thing that could change everything. It could get me what I wanted and she’d consider being with me. Or it would send her running in the opposite direction. Our eyes di dn’t break as we stared at each other. I didn’t take another breath until she spoke again.

“I just think my heart is still too fragile for anything serious,” she said softly. “You know that, right? That’s why you’re my best friend. You know me better than anyone, Rhodes.”

I leaned back in my seat and broke eye contact with her, studying something across the room without really seeing it at all.

Did she know what I’d been about to confess?

It was late that night, long after we’d hugged each other goodbye, that I realized neither one of us ever touched that pizza.