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CHAPTER TWO

DETERMINED

ELLE

Now

We finish practice and I’m on that high I get after I’ve danced my heart out, but it’s laced with more fatigue than usual. Being a cheerleader is so much harder at thirty-one than it was at eighteen, and the hours I’ve been keeping haven’t been helping.

Our director, Lisa, is in a mood today. She rode us hard during practice and has followed us into the dressing room, which doesn’t bode well for me getting out as soon as I’d hoped. I need to shower and meet my girlfriends at Starlight Cafe in an hour and a half, and it takes a while to drive to Silver Hills.

“I want to talk about something. Can we all take a seat?” Lisa calls out.

I can tell by the look on her face that we’re not going to enjoy whatever she’s about to say.

We drop to the floor and she faces us.

“I just want to reiterate some of the rules we have to uphold when we’re part of this organization. I’ve noticed some of you have not been wearing a full face when you go out, and that’s just not acceptable. Brynn, I also want to mention that your tanner is a little too orange-y this week, while I’m thinking about it.” She sighs and Brynn nods, her orange-y cheeks darkening in embarrassment.

“I’ll work on that,” Brynn says.

“And I need to remind everyone that there is a strict no-fraternization policy that we all have to follow. If you go to a restaurant and see a player there, you turn around and walk out. If you’re attending the same event and it’s not a Colorado Mustangs event that you’re both required to attend, you’re the one who has to leave.” She looks at me and I wait, heart in my throat, for her to call me out, but she doesn’t.

I’m pretty sure everyone knows she’s talking about me anyway. Several of the girls have asked me about my friendship with Rhodes because they used to see me on his Instagram feed before I became a cheerleader, but I’ve downplayed how close we are. Everyone has always assumed that we’ve dated, but we never have .

“It’s cause for immediate removal, so it bears repeating. But that goes for all the rules. If you don’t respect them, we can always find someone else to fill your spot.”

Lisa pulled me aside at Henley’s daughters’ recital last week and told me all of this there. I hadn’t expected to see her that night. She lives in Denver, and the small town of Silver Hills where I live can feel like another planet sometimes, with just enough distance from the city. Turns out, she has a niece who is a dancer at Wiggles & Whimsy and Lisa attends her dance recitals whenever she can.

I told her I’d been friends with several of the Mustangs players for years through Rhodes, my friend since college, and she said it was no excuse, that I needed to follow the rules. I’ve had good intentions about avoiding seeing Rhodes in public, but I admit, I haven’t followed those intentions like I should have. I’ve seen him in places I knew we could keep it on the down-low, like our houses or our friends’ houses…who are also on the team.

But I didn't think I’d be barred from going to Cassidy and Audrey's dance recital. Yes, they’re Henley’s daughters, and he’s our wide receiver, but he’s recovering from ACL surgery and isn’t even playing right now. His girlfriend Tru has become a really close friend, and she’s the girls’ dance teacher, so I wanted to be supportive of her too. All loopholes I thought could be worked around, but Lisa only saw them as excuses.

She warned me it couldn’t happen again, and her way of calling me out today is just highlighting the fact that I’m on her radar.

As I drive back to Silver Hills, I’m mad and embarrassed…and disappointed.

I hate being in this position. I’m having the time of my life out on the field, the girls I’ve met from the team are wonderful, and it’s filling a void in me that I didn’t even know was missing.

But Rhodes’ little boy Levi is my godson, the light of my life, and he already looks bigger every time I see him. I don’t want to miss a second of him growing up.

Rhodes, on the other hand…it’s possible that a break from seeing him is exactly what I need to get my head screwed on straight. I’m still reeling about our kiss—scratch that—our little make-out session.

It was…something I need to stop thinking about every minute of every day.

I’ve gotten a little too good at hiding things…it’s shameful really.

And I’m hit with that stark reminder when I walk into Starlight Cafe and see a paperback copy of It Was Always You by Zoey Archer sitting on the table with my friends. My hands instantly go clammy and sweat beads form along my forehead even though I’m walking inside from a cold winter wonderland. Sadie spots me first and stands to hug me. Calista’s next and then Tru and her mom, Stephanie. I take the empty seat between Stephanie and Calista.

“I’m sorry I’m running a little late. Our practice went over a bit today.”

“It’s totally fine,” Sadie says.

“We’ve been passing the time by talking about this book!” Tru holds it up. “Mom couldn’t stop talking about it after she finished, so I asked her to bring it for me so I can start it today.”

Calista shakes her head. “You’d think I would’ve read it by now, and I will, but I’ve been on a romantasy kick.” She picks up the book and waves it. “I cannot keep this book on the shelves!”

Calista has taken over Twinkle Tales from her aunt and turned the already thriving bookstore into even more of a book lover’s sanctuary.

“Have you read it yet?” She looks at me, and I swallow hard, frowning slightly as I look it over.

“I think I’ve heard about it.” I nod.

“You’ve got to read it,” Stephanie says. “The love story is just so poignant. It’s funny and angsty and heartwarming…” Stephanie leans in. “And is it ever steamy.” We all laugh and I fan my face with my napkin.

“Sold. I’ll stop by the shop and get a copy on my way home,” Sadie says.

“I’m starving,” I say.

It’s true. I’m not just saying it to change the subject.

But the last thing I need to get into with these girls is my familiarity with It Was Always You .

Our favorite waitress, Abi, comes and takes our order, and it’s just the diversion we need.

“How was practice today?” Tru asks.

“A little bit humiliating. I’m still paying for coming to that dance recital. Totally worth it though,” I add, when Tru’s face falls. “I just need to watch myself.” I crinkle my nose. “I’ll have to stay home or call you guys when I want to go hang out with Levi.”

Sadie’s head tilts. “Is Rhodes okay with that?”

“I…don’t know,” I say finally.

“What’s going on there? The two of you were very icy at the recital,” Tru says.

Calista looks at me and nods, her eyebrows raised high. “Mm-hmm. I’ve been wanting to ask that very same question.”

“Let’s just say we crossed some boundaries we put in place way back when we first became friends.”

“You had sex ?” Sadie whisper-shouts.

“ No .” I look around to see if anyone heard her, and the coast is clear. “But we?—”

Our drinks are brought out and when they look at me expectantly after our waitress leaves, I lean in.

“We got a little too close for comfort and it’s never happening again.”

“What? Why?” Sadie pouts.

“You’re so close. I love the thought of you and Rhodes together,” Tru says.

“You and me both, honey,” Calista adds.

“Why can’t…whatever happened…not happen again?” Tru asks.

The food comes then and I think I’m saved from answering, but no. They want all the gritty details.

“We made a pact to never let anyone or anything get in the way of our friendship, including ourselves.”

Well, at least one of us was determined to stick to the pact the last time I checked.