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CHAPTER ONE

OFF-KILTER

RHODES

Now

I look in the rearview mirror and smile at Levi. We’re on our way to the coffee shop to meet the guys and Levi is bopping his head to “Training Season” by Dua Lipa. I blame Weston Shaw for getting my son hooked on this…as my fingers tap to the beat on the steering wh eel.

“We see Elle?” Levi asks.

And damn. My soon-to-be four-year-old isn’t the only one missing Elle. I can’t stop thinking about her.

Last night, before I ran off of Clarity Field, my eyes scanned the crowd for Elle Benton, my best friend in all the world. She was still on the sidelines, looking better than any cheerleader had a right to look, and her dark brown eyes burned into mine.

The anger was still there, glaring back, and it’s killing me.

I thought there was nothing I hated more than losing.

Okay, there are other things that suck too.

Like it’s the worst when Levi is sick. He’s a happy little guy and it takes a lot to get him down, but when he’s sick, those sad eyes make me want to cry.

Or it’s rough when his mother, Carrie, tries to use a new angle of manipulation on me yet again.

When I’m benched with an injury sucks too.

I intensely dislike all those things.

Being on a losing streak after being the first team to ever win three consecutive Super Bowls in a row doesn’t help.

It has me feeling more off-kilter than I have in a long time.

Not fucking good. But especially not good when everything else is also going wrong.

Henley, another best friend and the most incredible wide receiver I’ve ever had the honor of playing with, was injured this season and most likely won’t be playing again.

We’ve been practicing so hard trying to make up for Henley being out, there’s not even time to get laid.

Well…if we’re going for full disclosure here, I was off my game long before Henley’s accident.

Normally, I’m the chillest guy I know. I like to have fun, not take anything too seriously, and enjoy life with my son, my guys from the team, and Elle.

But things being weird with Elle…now that is more than I can take.

I honestly didn’t know we were capable of a fight anymore. We became best friends during our freshmen year of college and that bond has only gotten stronger over the years.

I wish we could talk all night right now, like we did that very first night.

I barely get a spare minute with her these days.

Clara, my favorite barista and owner of Luminary Coffeehouse, holds up my matcha latte when I walk in, and I kiss her cheek.

“And here’s a chocolate milk for Mr. Levi Archer!” she says, leaning down to give him his drink in a sippy cup.

“You’re the best, Clara. Thank you.” I glance down at Levi and tilt my head toward Clara.

“Thank you, Miss Clara,” Levi says, leaning in to hug her legs.

I grin at Levi and he takes such a long swig of his chocolate milk, he has to take a gasping breath when he’s done.

“Oh, you are so welcome, sweet little man.” Clara beams at my little boy.

“Are we the last ones to get here?” I ask.

“I haven’t seen Henley yet,” she says. She takes another look at me and frowns. “You doing okay? You don’t seem yourself this morning.”

“When are you guys gonna get it together?” Marv calls across the coffee shop.

Marv and Walter are the two grouchos who are at Luminary whenever the doors are open. They love football and they love complaining about everything we do wrong, even when we’re doing everything right.

During a dismal 5-8 season, we’re giving them plenty of material.

I wince and look at Clara. “Not my best day, no.”

“No trash-talking in my shop,” Clara tells Marv, her hand on her hip.

Marv grumbles to Walter but listens to Clara. Everyone loves Clara, even Walter and Marv.

“Hopefully we’ll get it together by Sunday,” I tell Marv.

I lift my matcha, thanking Clara again, and Levi and I head back to the room where my guys are waiting. My teammates, Bowie, Henley, and I started meeting regularly to talk about dad life, and it sort of grew into hanging out with my best friends and talking about everything .

Bowie has a daughter and Henley has three, so we had plenty to cover. Weston and Penn started showing up because they wanted to hang out with us, but then Weston became a dad and Penn started mentoring a kid, so the Single Dad Players now consists of five of us. We write shit in The Single Dad Playbook, and hanging out with these men has become some of my most treasured times, outside of the football field.

There are fist bumps all around. Levi goes around the table, saying hi to everyone, and stops when he gets in front of Caleb, Weston’s son. Levi plops down in front of Caleb with his toys and hands him a toy he knows Caleb likes.

“Good job, Levi. I love it when you share.” He hasn’t always been the best at sharing, so I make sure to praise him a little bit for it.

“What have I missed?” I ask.

“Not much,” Bowie says, leaning his elbows on the table .

I’m saying, “We look old this morning,” when Henley limps in. He’s still recovering from ACL surgery, and he turns and acts like he’s going to walk back out of the room when he hears me.

I jump up and tug him in, laughing when he pretends to hit me in the gut.

“If I can’t talk about how old I feel, you can’t either. And only one of us can be depressed at a time. Last time I checked, that was me,” he says.

He’s grinning as he says it, but he’s right. I wouldn’t want to be dealing with what he is for anything.

“I thought you were feeling better,” Penn says, eyebrows puckering in concern.

“I am, but it’s not a joyfest overnight or anything. And that game last night…” He looks around at us and sits down, stretching his bad leg out to the side.

We all groan.

“I need to drink this tasty beverage before I go there yet,” I grumble.

“How are negotiations going for you?” Weston asks.

“Pretty good.” I nod. “Sounds like they’re trying to get everything I wanted.”

“That’s awesome, man,” Henley says.

“Okay, then let’s talk about what’s going on with you and Elle and the way she looked at you after the game last night,” Bowie says.

“Elle?” Levi echoes, standing up to see if she came into the room. He goes back and sits down when he realizes she’s not here.

I give Bowie a pointed glare and he returns it with a contrite one.

“You noticed that, huh?” I say under my breath.

Bowie lifts his shoulder as if to say, Who didn’t ?

“Hard to ignore those daggers,” Weston says.

If these guys noticed, who else did?

“You think anyone else noticed?” I look around at each one of them.

“I doubt it,” Penn says. “It’s just because we know you guys. So what’s going on? You were weird at Friendsgiving too…and at the dance recital.”

“Are we really saying Friendsgiving when the girls aren’t around? It’s just so…” I sigh.

“We do Friendsgiving now and we own it,” Weston says, laughing.

“I love doing it, it’s the word that I never thought I’d be saying…”

They all laugh.

Weston elbows me. “Out with it. If it were one of us not talking about our mess by now, you’d be all over us. Spill.”

I groan and pick up a napkin, twisting it. “I don’t know where to begin, I guess. When she told me she wanted to be a cheerleader for the Mustangs, I was all for it. She loves to dance…she was the best cheerleader on our college team. She has that IT factor that makes everyone want to get another look at her. I mean, you’ve all seen her. She’s fucking gorgeous,” I whisper the F-word since Levi and Caleb are here. “She belongs out there, and she needed something to boost her confidence. She’s spent her whole life trying to fit into the box her parents wanted her to be in…she deserves this time. But she’s busier than she’s ever been. And you guys know we’re skirting the rules even hanging out at all, with the no-fraternization policy between us and the cheerleaders. But it’s me and Elle . Everyone knows we’ve been best friends forever.”

Thirteen years is a long time.

“Can’t the rules be bent a little?” Penn asks .

I tilt my head and make a face. “I thought so. But since she got on the team, we’ve hardly seen each other. We’ve hung out at Henley’s and at each other’s houses a couple of times, which is technically prohibited, but come on! It’s ridiculous to think that we’d cut off ties with each other just because she’s a cheerleader on the team.”

I scowl at the floor.

“Elle doesn’t think it’s so ridiculous,” I add. “She’s been adamant that we can’t be seen together, ever, and she came this close to not showing up at Friendsgiving. She’d come over the night before upset, and we drank a little…and…” I pause, still unable to meet them in the eye because again, it’s me and Elle .

“The anticipation is killing me,” Bowie says.

“Same, bro. What happened?” Penn pounds on the table.

I clear my throat. “Well, one thing led to another, and…”

The room is silent. I look up at them and they’re staring at me in shock before they all start speaking at once, demanding to know what happened.

“We kissed,” I admit, wincing. And a little more than that , I think but don’t say.

“Why are you making that face? Was it bad? Did it feel wrong?” Henley leans in, disbelief on his face.

“No, not even a little bit. I thought it was all kinds of right…but apparently she didn’t, because she’s been pissed at me ever since.”