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CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

NO DOUBTS

RHODES

Now

Elle and I have hardly been asleep when I hear something. I rub my eyes in time to see Levi doing a superhero run and then diving between Elle and me.

“Mewwy Chwistmas!” he yells.

I try to whisper it back with excitement, but that’s almost impossible to do, try it sometime. I don’t want him to wake up Elle, but I also don’t want to squash his Christmas joy.

“Merry Christmas, little man,” Elle says groggily.

“It’s four in the morning,” I say. “Are we sure it’s really Christmas yet?”

“We did tell him whenever he woke up,” Elle says, already sitting up.

“I awake ,” Levi says.

She leans over and hugs him. I love the way she loves my boy.

“All right, let’s do this,” I say, searching for the candy cane pajama pants Elle gave me last night.

She thinks it’s hilarious that the massive candy cane in the front perfectly outlines my dick. It is pretty funny.

“I’ll turn the fire on first and then get the camera ready, okay?” I look at Levi. “You hold on tight with Elle, all right?”

“Awight,” he agrees, bopping his head.

“Let me get the two of you walking in together,” Elle says.

I smile, watching her put on her matching candy cane pajamas without even flashing us once. I’m disappointed I didn’t catch a peek, but I know she doesn’t want to flash Levi. She has the art down of putting a bra on or taking it off without even showing any skin. It’s remarkable.

“I’ll be in the pictures plenty. I want to see my favorite people,” I tell her, hurrying off to brush my teeth and get this party started.

And oh, what a party it is. Levi is obsessed with the train we set up last night after he went to bed. It’s huge and goes around the tree and winds around the living room. He plays with it for hours and barely notices anything else. Elle and I have so much fun playing with him and then take some time to open our presents from each other too. We usually give each other two gifts, one silly and one nice. I try to sneak in more than two presents every year, but it gets me in trouble. I’m wearing my silly gift—an ugly Christmas sweater to go with my candy cane pants—and so is she, a Christmas tree hat that lights up.

The biggest surprises are coming later. I heard from my dad before we went to bed, and they’ve decided to drive. They should be here by this afternoon, and the present they’re bringing with them is one I’ve been wanting for a long time. I can’t wait to see Elle and Levi’s reaction.

Elle hands me a small rectangular box. I shake it as I always do, and she rolls her eyes playfully. I hand her a similarly sized box. I’ve had this gift for a while now and have wondered how she’d receive it. I’m feeling a little more confident now that it’ll be okay.

“You go first,” I say.

She smiles and opens it without hesitation. It’s always so fun to give her gifts.

She gasps when she opens the box. I bought her a Tiffany watch. She loves that Tiffany Blue? and this one is stainless steel with the blue dial and small diamonds surrounding it.

“Rhodes,” she whispers and then smiles.

“If it’s not the right one, we can pick out one you like better.”

She giggles then and I can’t tell what’s striking her funny.

“I love it,” she says. “I love it so much.”

“Oh, good.”

She surprises me by looking at the back. I thought I’d have to show her the inscription, but she finds it and her head falls back with her laugh. I frown, not sure how to take her laughing so hard at me having Yours, Rhodes engraved on the back of her watch.

She wipes her eyes and reaches over to squeeze my hand. “I love it, Rhodes. It’s so perfect. You’re perfect.”

She kisses me and it sends my heart into overdrive. I love her mouth and everything about her.

She pulls back. “Here, open yours.”

I grin and carefully open it.

“Rip it,” she says, laughing.

“But it’s so pretty. I don’t know how you can get it so pretty. I have to pay to have that done.”

She gives me a smug look. “Maybe I’ll teach you sometime.”

“Mmm, I don’t think these giant fingers will ever be able to do this.”

“They’re just right for other things,” she whispers.

I have to adjust my candy cane.

“Keep it up,” I tell her, “and this candy cane will be trying to hop out of these pants.”

She laughs and I open the box and stare at it in shock.

“Elle, this is…beautiful.” I look at her in concern. “You didn’t need to spend so much money on me.”

She gives me a pointed look. “You did.”

I give her a pointed look back. I don’t say but I can afford it , even though we both know what I’m thinking.

The BVLGARI watch is the shit . It’s dark green, my favorite color.

She nudges me. “If it’s not the right one, we can pick out one you like better…”

I lean over and kiss her. “I love that we got each other the same thing. I’m just…it’s…I love it. ”

She touches the watch. “Keep looking,” she says, her lips quirking up.

I pick it up and study it closer and then turn it over. Yours, Elle it says. She covers her mouth with her hand, laughing and my eyes well up. Her laugh quietens and she scoots closer.

“ Are you mine, baby?” I ask her.

Her eyes fill with tears, and she nods. “I am.”

“We’ve always said we love each other, but when I say I love you, I mean that I am bone-achingly in love with you. I have loved you from the first time I saw you, and every minute in between. There will never be anyone for me but you. I wish I’d made it clear from the very beginning.”

“You’ve loved me from the beginning? I’ve loved you from the beginning. I’m in love with you too, Rhodes,” she says, a tear dripping down her cheek.

I lean in and kiss it, processing her words and reeling with them. “How did we know everything about each other but not this?”

“I know. I can’t believe it. I wish I hadn’t been so terrified of losing you,” she adds. “You were instantly everything to me, and that’s still the same today, but we were so young. It didn’t feel possible that you could really love me back in that way. You were so confident, so sure of who you were already. I feel like I’m still finding my way, but with you—I’ve always known how I feel about you. We wouldn’t be the same though, if we’d known the feelings were reciprocated. You wouldn’t have Levi, and he is the best thing to ever happen to both of us.”

I kiss her fingers and cheek and mouth. “I love you for loving him that way.”

“He’s part of you. Of course I love him. ”

That makes me reel, her goodness, her love. We sit for a moment, just soaking in these revelations.

“Every time I was about to tell you how I felt, someone new would pop up,” I tell her.

“I nearly told you at least a dozen times,” she says. “It always backfired.”

“Maybe the timing is perfect. We’ve never been without each other, besides distance, and now we can fully be who we’re supposed to be together.”

“You’re sure?” she asks.

“I have never had any doubts about my feelings for you. I’ve only ever wondered if I would be able to make you feel the same about me.”

She leans her forehead on mine. “I love you so much, Rhodes. And being with you in this fake relationship that I never wanted to only be fake has been beyond what I could’ve imagined.”

I can hear the smile in her voice, and I laugh. “I jumped on your fake dating idea so fast…anything to get more time with you.”

Her laugh is warm against my skin. “I’m so glad you did. We desperately needed something to force this issue.” She frowns. “Levi has been quiet for a minute.”

We look at the trains where he’s been playing and singing his little heart out, and he’s sprawled out, sound asleep.

“That four AM wakeup call has caught up with him.” I chuckle as I walk over and pick him up. “I’ll be right back.”

“Or should we go back to bed?” she asks.

“I love that idea.”

I put Levi to bed and when I look in my room, Elle is already there. I crawl into bed and she turns to face me.

“Carrie is going to hate this, you know,” she says .

“I know.” Carrie’s made it no secret how she feels about Elle. “But you don’t need to worry about her..”

I lean in and kiss her and she melts into me. My dick swells against her and she grins against my mouth.

“Hello?” The sound comes from downstairs and we freeze.

“Fuck. Is that my mom? They said they were stopping. They must have driven all night.”

“They drove?”

We both hustle out of bed, my erection a sad thing of the past, and hurry downstairs.

My parents stand in the living room, and my mom is holding my surprise. Elle gasps and my parents stare at the two of us in shock.

We all start talking at once.

“Hey, guys!”

“You must’ve driven all night!”

“Merry Christmas!”

“Oh my God, you got a puppy!” Elle rushes to my mom and kisses her cheek before loving on the English bulldog.

“ We got a puppy,” I tell Elle.

“What?” She looks up at me.

I grin at her as we pet the little guy and my mom hands him to me. He’s red and white, with the patches over his eyes. He’s adorable.

“He is hilarious,” Mama says. “I’m already in love with him.”

“Hey there, aren’t you the cutest thing,” I say. I lean into my parents for a side hug to not squish the puppy. “So, we have some news.”

My parents stand there beaming.

“Thought you might,” Dad says.

Elle’s cheeks are pink when I glance at her. I lift my eyebrows, asking if it’s okay that I spill. She laughs and leans into me.

“Tell them,” she says.

“We’re together. Elle is in love with me ,” I lean my head back to say it loudly, “and we are together .”

Elle giggles and my parents hug her and me. My mom does a little dance.

“It is about time!” she cries.

“Do you know how hard it was to stay out of it when it was so obvious that you guys were right for each other?” my dad says, laughing. “We knew how Rhodes felt and thought we might know how you felt, Elle, but he made us swear we’d leave it alone. Bloody hell, I thought I might be on my deathbed saying, ‘Can I please just say one thing before I go…’”

We all laugh.

“This has made me the happiest mama ever,” my mom says. “I have wanted this from the time he called home and said ‘I met a girl named Elle.’ I wrote your name in my journal that same day, and next to it I said: I think we will be hearing more about her.” She reaches out and squeezes Elle’s hand. “And when I met you, there were no doubts. I saw the way he looked at you, and that’s never changed, not once in all these years. Well, I take that back. What is the word for…the longing...”

“He’s been pining for her,” my dad helps clarify.

I groan and Elle laughs.

“I’ve been pining too,” she says.

“I wish I’d been clued in to that pining.” I roll my eyes, laughing.

“Have you told her just how much you were pining?” my mom asks .

I shoot her a look. “I have been on tenterhooks trying not to scare her off. One thing at a time.”

My mom tilts her head like get after it . “We’re not getting any younger, son.”

Elle looks up at me with curious eyes and a bright smile, and I kiss the side of her head.

“Isn’t he so cute?” I ask, changing the subject.

My mom snorts, but everyone lets me get away with it for now.

“He’s the cutest. Levi is going to freak when he sees him.”

“Where is our boy?” Dad asks.

“He got up at four and had the time of his life…before crashing next to the train.”

“I’m sad that we missed that,” Mama says. “Once we started driving, we just wanted to get here. But now, we need a nap.”

“I’m so glad you’re here.”

I don't get the love fest I wanted with Elle or a nap. We start cooking. My parents lie down for a while and then my mom gets up and helps. Later that evening, when Levi gets up, he meets Bogey, his new puppy, and he's in love. He kisses his nose and can't stop laughing every time he looks at him. Bogey has so much personality. He's clumsy and sweet. I've taken a million pictures already.

Weston, Sadie, and Caleb arrive first and then Bowie and Becca. When Becca sees the dog, she falls in love too.

“He should be ours. His name is like yours, Dad,” she says .

Becca has Down Syndrome and you never have to guess what she’s thinking. We all adore that about her.

Bowie looks at me. “Yeah, what’s with naming your dog Bogey? You have a Bowie in your life, isn’t that enough?”

“Never enough. You know you’re my favorite, man. But this guy might turn out to be a close second,” I tease.

“Great,” he says dryly. “And I’m never going to hear the end of this now. First, it was a cat because of Earl.”

Tru and Henley have a cat and the kids all love him, but the rest of us haven't succumbed to pets yet. Until now.

“Looks like we're going to be getting a dog,” he says when Becca starts singing to Bogey.

Henley, Tru, and the girls come in next, and Penn and Sam are right behind them. Elle’s parents weren’t able to make it and neither were Calista and Javi, but we talk about doing dinner with them next week.

It’s loud and boisterous as we eat, and afterwards, we take dessert into the living room. While the kids are playing in the other room, I take Elle’s hand and clear my throat.

“I’d like to say something,” I say.

The little side conversations slowly come to a stop and everyone turns to look at me.

“You’ve been our friends for a long time and some of you have known more recently exactly how I feel about this girl, but I just want to say…it's official. This is not a fake dating relationship. This is not best friends only.”

Everybody laughs and there is whistling and cheering.

“This is my woman. She knows it. And I am her man, and I know it. We have established it.” I hold up my hand to emphasize my words and Elle leans in, laughing at me.

There’s a scurry of hugs and cheers as everyone congratulates us. Finally, I clear my throat.

“There’s more. I’m going to say something and it probably should just be between me and Elle, but because I tell you guys everything and I have had a reputation of being a player, I want to set some things straight. Penn, you're my man and I have been your wingman since the day we met and realized we could draw in the women.”

I look at Elle apologetically. “Sorry, baby. But this face is pretty and we all know it.”

She shoves me away, but she’s laughing.

“It’s my parents’ fault,” I say, pointing at my parents. They roll their eyes and laugh.

“Don’t bring us into this,” Mama says.

“Anyway…my parents are also the only ones who know that I haven't slept with another woman since Carrie got pregnant.”

Everyone looks at me in shock.

“Sorry, ladies, you didn't ask for this,” I say to Sadie and Tru.

“But I am so here for it,” Tru says and we all crack up.

Elle looks at me, eyes wide. “I am in shock,” she says.

“I feel so deceived,” Penn says.

We all laugh…even Penn.

“So, the times we were out and you walked a girl out of the bar or wherever we were…” He frowns.

“Once you were out of sight, I would send them home in a cab. I’d also tell them while we were chatting that I only wanted a conversation. Most were fine with that. I wanted you to have fun. I’d learned my lesson after getting Carrie pregnant and thought I had lost my chance with Elle forever.” I look at Elle, and her eyes are filling with tears. “The day I told you…” I shook my head, overcome with emotion. “It was the darkest day of my life, knowing I had ruined our chance for good.”

She wipes the tears falling down her cheeks .

“Anyway…I just wanted to clear that up because I’ve let you all think one thing about me and it's not been the case at all. I’m not sorry about Levi, but I wish I had changed my ways a lot sooner. Took me a while, but I got there.”

“Wow,” Penn says. “So it turns out I'm the only man whore here.”

We crack up.

“Well, more like reformed man whores,” Weston says, as he laughs and makes a face at Sadie.

“There's no shame,” Henley tells Penn.

“When you meet the person for you, you'll be reformed too,” Bowie says.

“Well, let's get you situated first,” I tell Bowie. “You’ve never been a player and you deserve to have someone in your life.”

“Oh God,” Penn says. “Here he goes.”

Bowie groans. “I know. Don’t start on me. I'm happy. I'm just fine as I am. I have a full life.”

“You are fine as you are, but you could be even happier,” I say.

“Yeah, Dad.” Becca walks in and comes straight for the puppy. “You could be happier.”

Our phones start dinging and Penn is the first to check his.

“Hey, guys?”