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CHAPTER SIX

ROLE REVERSAL

RHODES

Now

Elle

I can go to the wedding, but I’m supposed to stay away from you and the rest of the guys.

I want to say fuck that , but I don’t.

I type:

You do what you’ve gotta do.

Delete. Delete. Delete.

Then:

Okay.

Nope. Delete.

Finally:

Bree will be glad you’re there.

I press send and walk into the locker room after practice and a long workout afterward. I needed to work some of this tension out.

The guys are there waiting for me, looking a bit thunderous.

It’s quiet for a second when I walk in.

“Can I just say, if the roles were reversed, you would be giving us so much shit right now.” Bowie leans across the table to grab my shoulder and points at me when I meet his eyes.

“What are you talking about?” I mutter.

“Thank you for saying it!” Penn says, throwing his hand in the air. “I’ve wanted to say it at least a dozen times, but he’ll listen to you more than he’ll listen to me.”

I frown. “Are you guys talking to me or about me?”

I turn around to see if anyone is behind me, and nope, it’s just the five of us. We at least had the kids with us the other day to help with distraction.

“You seriously left with Levi as soon as you threw out that revelation the other day about kissing Elle feeling all kinds of right and then ghosted us. We’ve barely talked outside of the game!” Bowie’s normally low, growly voice rises to a level that surprises all of us, and I sit up straighter as he sags back into his bench.

“He’s not wrong,” Weston says, scowling at me.

“Since when do you ghost us?” Henley adds and I shoot him a guilty look. “I don’t think you’ve ever ghosted me.”

“You doing okay, man?” I ask him quietly. “I’m sorry I’ve just been keeping my head down, trying to focus on the game and forgetting about…all that with Elle.” I look around the room. “We played well last night.” I point at Henley. “You being on the sidelines is not the same as you playing with us, but it’s the next best thing.”

“Don’t try to distract me with your sweet talk,” Henley mutters, but his lips quirk up. “You guys did play well last night. I think you’re turning the season around, but let’s get back to Elle.”

“I told her maybe we should rethink the pact,” I say, scratching the back of my neck.

“What pact?” Penn asks.

“The one we made in college where we agreed to only ever be friends.” I pause for a moment, knowing they’ll have something to say about that, and do they ever.

All at once.

What kind of shit is that?

Whose idea was that kind of pact anyway?

That was thirteen years ago!

You’ve seriously been upholding a pact you made way back then?

What did she say?

And then they all look at me like they’re waiting for an answer. How am I supposed to know where to start after all that?

“She said the pact has never done us wrong and we’re not gonna start messing with it now.” My jaw clenches as I remember staring at her mouth after she said it, wondering if a kiss from me would change her mind.

“And you agreed with that?” Bowie says, shaking his head like I’m crazy.

The attention turns on him for a second because none of us have seen him this fired up about anything before, not even about a faulty ruling on a play.

“Yes, I agreed to that,” I finally say.

And I’m met with four sets of defiant eyeballs.

I pinch the bridge of my nose and take a deep breath.

“Look, I know I talk shit and I push and I’m nosy as all fuck with you guys.” I exhale loudly. “I stir it up and am always shoving everyone out of their comfort zones, but this is different.” When Weston starts to talk, I lift my hand and shake my head. “ This is different . I can’t dwell on this about Elle. I’ve gotta let it go for my sanity and you have to let it go too. We are just friends, we will only ever be friends, and that’s the end of it.”

“But why?” Bowie growls.

I point at Weston. “When I pushed you to entertain the thoughts you were having about Sadie, I knew your friendship was new and you were both being so careful over Caleb. You wouldn’t do anything too risky to jeopardize that.” I point at Henley. “And pursuing the first woman I’d ever seen you light up over? It was a no-brainer…but the stakes were also not as high. You’d just met her.” My eyes drop down at the table before meeting Bowie’s eyes. “Elle is my person, my family…my everything. I can’t throw away thirteen years to scratch a what-if itch... ”

And the way she’s treating me now…it hurts. Despite how right it felt to touch her, the way she immediately distanced herself is everything I feared most.

“You’re in love with her,” Bowie’s voice rasps, and it sounds like it’s hurting him to say it almost as much as it’s hurting me to hear it.

“Yes.”

The room is hushed as my answer takes flight and hits each of my friends in the gut. They stare back at me sorrowfully, and I swallow the lump that suddenly feels lodged in my throat.

“Hey, listen, I’ll be okay.” I reach out and pick up The Single Dad Playbook that we write in almost every meeting. “I’ve carried these feelings around for a long time. I’ll get through this. It’s just a little…snag.”

“What, the snag is you kissed and realized she feels the same way? How does that not change everything?” Henley asks.

I drop the notebook on the bench and lean back. “It changes nothing . She still doesn’t want me.”

“You need to read something in there,” Henley says, sliding the book closer to me. “I saw it earlier and I think it’s fitting.”

I sigh and open it, going to the last entry.

When I realized I’d missed out

on Caleb’s first couple of months,

I didn’t think I could ever get past it.

I can’t get that time back.

How do I reclaim what I lost?

But that’s one of the most

incredible things about kids …

they just want you to be present

when you ARE around.

I shifted my thinking,

and instead of dwelling on what I’d missed out on,

I put all my energy into

making that day the best Caleb and I had ever had.

It’s actually transformed

the way I think about life now.

All that schooling,

and no one told me I’d learn the most

when I became a father.

~Weston

“Don’t waste time thinking about what you’ve missed or what you think you know about how she feels. Talk to her. Tell her you want a future with her,” Henley says.

I nod. I want to do that, but I’m just not sure I can. I tap on the bench and stand up.

“I’m gonna head out, okay? I’ll be back to normal the next time we see each other, don’t worry.” I point at each one of them. “We had a great win again and we’ve got Bree’s wedding coming up. I’m getting my head back in the game…which means I can’t turn this Elle shit over in my head anymore.” I point at my head like it’s a revolving carousel.

“We’re here for you, man,” Weston says. “Whatever you need.”

I open the door and look back at them. “I know you are, and it means so much. Seriously, I don’t know what I’d do without you guys.”

I walk away before I can look at their desolate faces any longer. You’d think I just delivered them the worst blow, not something that I’ve been living with since the night I met Elle Benton.

When I’m done working out, there’s a message from Carrie saying we need to talk, and I brace myself before calling her back.

“Hey, what’s up?” I say when she answers.

“Hello to you too,” she snarks.

“Hello, Carrie. How’s it going?”

“Well, Levi has had the best day. I think he finally crossed over to liking chicken.”

He likes chicken all the time at my house, but I don’t bother correcting her.

“The little man likes to eat,” I say.

“He’s a little pickier than I’d like, but we’re getting there. Um, Rhodes, I need a favor...”

“Yeah? What’s up?”

“I need you to take Levi a little earlier than we talked about.”

“How much earlier?”

“Tomorrow.”

“Carrie, you know I’ve got the wedding this weekend. I can’t take Levi until Sunday morning. What happened to wanting him at your family’s this weekend?”

“Something has come up.”

“What’s come up?”

“I need to go out of town,” she says.

I stare at the ceiling and count to five. I don’t have the energy to deal with Carrie’s shit right now. She loves Levi, but what she loves even more than that is trying to keep a constant drama train in motion.

“I’ll call my parents and see if they can come. If they can’t, you need to figure something out, Carrie. ”

“I shouldn’t be penalized for going out of town one time when you travel all the time .”

“No one is penalizing you. We share custody over our son and part of that agreement is that when it’s my time to have him, I take care of him and his arrangements. When it’s your time to have him, you’re supposed to do the same.”

“Can you talk for even two seconds without the condescension?” she snaps.

I pick up a stress ball and squeeze it so hard it bursts and little gooey balls spill out onto the floor. The towel I used to wipe my sweat doesn’t do a very good job of cleaning it up.

“I said I’d call my parents. I don’t know if I can find more help than that this late, so I suggest you look for backup too, if you’re determined to go on this little getaway.”

“Fuck off, Rhodes. I know your parents have a jillion employees that are thrilled to do whatever they ask.”

My parents don’t have a jillion employees, but I also don’t bother correcting her about this.

“Well, let me fuck off this call and find out who can help then.” My insides are yelling, but I sound surprisingly calm.

“Was that so hard?” Carrie has the audacity to laugh.

I squeeze my fists and take a deep breath before hanging up on her. I’ll blame poor reception if I have to.

After a quick shower, I FaceTime my mom. She picks up, her smile lighting up the screen.

“There’s my boy.” Her smile falters. “Hey, what’s going on, my sunshine?”

“Hi, Mama. It’s good to see your face.” I try to smile, but my mom just frowns more. “Carrie’s just coming in at the last minute, wanting to change the schedule. ”

“What else is new?” She shakes her head. “I don’t know if she will ever grow up.”

“I hate to ask this, but…I’m supposed to be going to Bree and Alex’s wedding and it was Carrie’s weekend, but she has an opportunity to travel…somewhere. Is there any way you could come? You can totally say no, but I told Carrie I would ask.”

“We would love to spend a few days with Levi!” she says excitedly.

“Really? You could get here tomorrow and deal with him mostly without me?”

She waves me off. “I know how to handle little boys, you know. Besides, he is an angel.”

I laugh. “Yeah, someone is a Gigi through and through.”

She tried to get Levi to call her Ouma, like she called her favorite grandma or Gogo after her other grandma, but Levi gave it his own twist, and she’s been Gigi ever since. Now even my dad calls her Gigi more than Amara.

“I’m the best Gigi that ever lived and don’t you forget it.”

“You are. You really are. Are you sure about this? I can pick him up from Carrie’s tomorrow and then meet you at the airport.”

“No, don’t worry about picking us up. We’ll try to get in early enough to see you before you have to go and just meet you at the house. It’ll be good. I’m excited to see him. And you.” Her eyebrow lifts. “Why do you look like you’re still worrying?”

My mouth parts and I force it closed, shaking my head. “It’s…nothing. Thank you for your help, Mama. I appreciate you.”

She levels her gaze on me. “Talk to me, my sunshine. You have not been yourself for a while now. Why is that? ”

I groan and make a face. “Why you gotta be so perceptive, Gigi ?”

She giggles and I swear, my mom looks younger than me sometimes.

“You better tell Gigi what’s happening before I get there or I’ll be all up in your business!”

“Either way I look at it, you’re in my business. Do I have that right?”

She giggles again. “Yes, my sunshine. You have that right.”

“Things are weird with Elle and it’s…messing with me.”

“Oh no. What do you mean, weird?”

“Well, for one thing, she was supposed to go with me to the wedding and because of being on the cheer team, she’s allowed to go, but she can’t be near me or the guys.”

“That is the craziest thing I have ever heard,” she says emphatically. “You are Rhodes Archer. You do not pay attention to such craziness.”

I laugh. “Said as only my mama could.”

She shifts her curls back and gives me a regal smile. “Anyone who wants to question this can speak to Amara about it.”

I snort. “Okay, got it. I’ll send the cheerleader director your way.”

She nods slightly, as if to say, Bring it.

“And what else is going on with Elle?” she asks.

“What else?”

“You said, for one thing…so what else is there?”

There’s no way I can tell my mom that something happened between us. I regret telling the guys and they don’t have even a tenth of the grit and determination that my mother has.

So when her eyes light up and she points at me, my hand teeters to hold the phone upright and not hang up right then.

“Rhodes!” she sings. “What happened between you and Elle?”

Aw, hell.

“Nothin’, Mama. Nothing .”

“Oh, this little trip to see you could not be timelier. Daddy and I will be there as soon as we can tomorrow, and you better get ready to spill because I can see that you are nigh unto bursting .”

“I have no idea what that means,” I say.

“Mm-hmm,” she chirps. “Love you, my sunshine. I’ll see you and that little angel tomorrow!”

Fucking hell.