Page 8 of Racing Dirty Trilogy Box Set

Izzy

We reach the hospital in record time. Xavier pulls into a parking spot and kills the engine. The ticking of the cooling motor is the only sound between us. He turns his body toward me, sadness enveloping his sapphire eyes.

“B, I know I screwed up in the past. I know I hurt you so badly that you felt like you had to leave. I didn’t mean to.

I swear I never wanted to break your heart or your trust.” His voice trembles, cracking my already fragile heart.

“I was drunk and scared, and I know that is no excuse. I’ve punished myself over and over these last five years for losing you to a stupid decision I made.

I don’t want to lose you again, B, please give me another chance. "

His words sink into my chest, but so does the memory of that night of him and that girl at the track.

I reach up with trembling fingers and wipe away the tear forming in the corner of his eye. He exhales sharply at my touch, closing his eyes as another tear falls. I wipe that one away, too.

“Xavier, I don’t know if I can do this right now.

” My voice is barely a whisper. “When I caught you with her at the track the night after we made love, it destroyed me. It crushed my soul and my heart.” I swallow hard, trying to force back the lump in my throat.

“You held my heart in your hands since I was a little girl. When I finally gave it to you fully, you crushed it. Your actions made me question myself. Why I wasn’t good enough for you?

Why wasn’t I attractive enough for you? It was a hit to my self-esteem and I really thought I wasn’t good enough.

I thought someone else could give you what I couldn’t, so I left.

I gave you what you wanted, even though it broke me. ” I wipe away my tears.

The weight of my words, ones I’ve never spoken aloud before, lifts slightly off my chest. For the first time, I see my pain reflected in his eyes. Regret, sorrow, and something deeper.

A heavy silence settles between us. His muscles are tense, his black hair a mess, his jaw locked tight. He looks so lost.

“I just want to get through tonight,” I whisper, my resolve firm but fragile. “You have to earn my trust back.”

Xavier opens his mouth, ready to protest, but I press my hand over his lips before he can speak.

“Not tonight, X. You’ve always had my heart. You’ve always had my love. But not tonight. I need to see my dad.”

Before I pull my hand away, he gently brushes his lips against my palm. His warm breath sends tingles up my arm and between my legs, awaking things I thought I buried a long time ago.

Xavier inhales a sharp breath, determination written all over his handsome face.

“Ok B. I’ll give you tonight but after that be ready.

I’m not letting you go again and I will earn your trust back.

I won’t make the same mistake twice, I’m ready and I hope like hell you are too.

” He presses one last lingering kiss to my hand before stepping out of the car.

Still stunned at his words, he opens my door and holds out his hand to help me out.

I take it and sparks fly up my arm, into my heart, and through my body.

How can something so difficult feel so right?

He shuts the door and locks it with his key fob.

He doesn’t let go of my hand as we make our way up to the entrance of the hospital.

We walk into the hospital waiting room together, the smell of bleach and Pine-Sol invade my nose, forcing memories of my mom being here. The clean floors, rigid plastic chairs, fluorescent lighting and nurses’ station are still the same as I remember them.

I spot Mia curled up into a ball in one of the hard plastic chairs. Her head is resting on her arm, her eyes are closed and her eccentric multi-colored short hair is sticking up all over the place.

Ana and James, Xavier’s, mom and dad, are standing in the corner of the waiting room. They’re holding onto each other, whispering back and forth.

The worry lines on Ana’s face are deep as they wait for any information on Austin. Xavier and I step further into the waiting room and Ana is the first to spot us. James let’s go of her and she moves over to us.

Her jet-black hair pulled up into a ponytail and her familiar blue eyes are red from crying. She draws me into a warm hug, shocking me. I struggle not to break down, but a tear escapes my eyes from the motherly embrace. Ana pulls back, searching my eyes, for what? I have no idea.

“We haven’t heard anything yet, hon. Maybe you should let the nurses know you’re here.” She caresses my arms thoughtfully.

Questions invade my mind at her kind gesture. She should be furious at me for leaving. She should be pissed for hurting her son. Why isn’t she?

James approaches us and gestures his head to Xavier to follow him. Xavier tugs my hand and draws me away from his mom.

“I’m going to talk to my dad real quick. If you hear anything, come and get me."

He tugs me against him and my heart skips a beat as his soft, sensual lips brush my forehead gently, his warm breath sends a shiver down my spine.

“I’m still here, B, I’m not going anywhere again,” he whispers in my ear. The world fades away as his scent and warmth wrap around me, giving me strength.

It strengthens me knowing Xavier and his family are here for me and a missing piece of myself is found again.

I don’t feel alone anymore, something I felt living in California.

I was surrounded by my friends, but I still felt something was missing.

I stare into his eyes, his dark lashes hooding them, watching my reaction to his affection.

I want to kiss him so desperately. I can feel the craving on my skin as I lick my lips.

I know I told myself I wouldn’t get back together with him but staring into his eyes, being this close to him, I honestly don’t want to fight with myself anymore.

I don’t have the strength. His eyes darkened with lust as he watches me lick my lips and his throat bobs as he swallows hard.

“OK. I’m going to let the nurses know I’m here,” I tell him, my voice husky.

Xavier brushes his lips gently against my hair as James clears his throat behind us. He lets me go and they step outside. I remain here for a minute, watching them through the window. Ana approaches me and places her arm around my shoulders, gently. Her loving embrace feels so right and familiar.

“Let’s go talk to the nurse,” Ana says.

“Ok.” I agree and she leads me to the nurse’s window. I slap the buzzer and wait. After a minute, a short lady with bright pink scrubs appears at the window.

“Can I help you?” She asks.

“Yes, I’m Izabella Jones, they brought my dad Austin Jones, in a little while ago and I was wondering if there were any updates yet.” My voice is strong but I feel like I will break down any minute.

Ana runs a soothing hand up and down my back, comforting me and giving me strength. The nurse sits in her seat and pecks at the keyboard. After what seemed like forever, but was merely less than a minute, the nurse looks up at me, sympathy in her hazel eyes.

“I’ll let the doctor know you’re here." With that, she gets up from her chair and shuffles away before I can respond.

Ana and I walk back to the area they were occupying earlier, and I sit down next to Mia in the hard plastic chair. Xavier and James are still outside, and it looks like their talk is getting heated.

I gently shake Mia’s dozing form. She grumbles at me in her sleep. I shake her again.

“Mia, it’s me, Izzy, get up,” I say gently.

At my voice, her head pops up and her brown eyes fly open as she uncurled herself from her chair. She flies into my arms.

“Izzy? Oh, thank God you’re here.” Mia sobs.

If I weren’t sitting down, she would have knocked me to the ground. Mia might be small, but she knows how to throw her weight into something.

“Yeah, Hun I’m here,” I say as we hug. She is sobbing again on my shoulder as I rub my hands up and down her back, soothing her.

“Mia, it’ll be OK. We will get through this. I’m not going anywhere again."

Mia stops crying after a few minutes and looks at me. Her brown eyes are red, her face is splotchy.

“You’re not going back to Cali?” Mia asks.

I shake my head. “I’m ready to come home. I’ve been ready, but I was too scared." Not wanting to discuss this any further with Ana next to us, I changed the subject.

“I love your hair."

Mia runs her fingers through the multi-color, making it messier. “Thanks. I just got it done a week ago.” She gives me a sad smile.

“It’s definitely your style. So, tell me about who asked you out,” I say.

“Huh?” She asks her eyebrows wrinkled in confusion.

“The text you sent me today. Well, yesterday now.”

“Oh! No one. I just wanted you to call me back.” She says with a wink, telling me we’ll talk about it later.

Just as Xavier and James walk back through the emergency doors, a doctor comes through another set of doors.

“Miss. Jones? Izabella Jones?” My heart drops to my stomach at the doctor’s impassive face and irritated expression. Xavier reaches me as I rise on shaky legs. Taking a deep breath, I brace myself for unwelcome news.

“That’s me,” I acknowledge, facing the doctor.

His white lab coat is wrinkle free, and he has a stethoscope around his neck. His name tag reads ‘Dr. Smith’ and he has a clipboard in his hands as he takes short, irritated steps over to me. I’m frozen in place and can’t move as I wait for the news.

Xavier wraps his arms around my shoulders, anchoring me to him. He’s offering strength I didn’t realize I needed.

“Your dad, Austin, has suffered serious injuries.” His nasal tone is irritating me and my temper flares.

Xavier can feel the shift in my body language and holds me tighter. Just as I am about to lose my shit on Dr. Smith, James speaks up.

“How is he doing?"

Dr. Smith looks at me with a tight smile. “Can we discuss this privately?"