Page 36 of Racing Dirty Trilogy Box Set

Xavier

I wake up in a great mood, the warm sun is streaming through Izzy’s open window, a light breeze is blowing in across our naked bodies. I wrap my arms around Izzy and pull her against me, my heart skipping a beat with the realization she’s mine. Finally, all mine.

I kiss Izzy’s neck and she’s awake now, her green eyes are dark with desire.

“Morning. If that's the way I get woken up, I've really been missing out,” Izzy giggles. It’s music to my ears.

“Good morning, I've been thinking,” I tell her.

“Thinking about what?" Izzy asks breathlessly. I lean in, so our lips are just a breath apart, and I search her eyes.

“I was thinking that I've loved you for a very long time, but I've been a chicken shit,” I whisper.

Izzy pulls my hair, forcing my head down, and kisses me hard. Her tongue entering my mouth, caressing mine sending shivers down my spine. She gently bites my bottom lip, driving me over the edge.

“Then show me,” she whispers against my mouth.

My control snaps and I surge into her with no barriers. I've never had sex before without a condom and it's heaven. I pause for a beat, our bodies are slick with sweat as I give her everything I have. Izzy moans and lightly bites my neck.

I stare into her soulful gaze, hooded with desire, and see more than a friend I’ve grown up with. I see my soulmate, my other half. She completes me and I’ll be lost without her. “Fuck, Izzy I’m coming,” I grunt out.

My orgasm hits me so hard, I blackout for a few seconds. Once I get my bearing back, I lay down next to her and fall back asleep, her body wrapped tightly around me.

We get up a little while later and get dressed. It’s almost two in the afternoon, Izzy’s dad and my parents will be home in a couple of hours and I have to get back to my house.

I kiss her goodbye at her doorstep and make my way to my pickup.

I get in it and drive off. My mind starts questioning myself and I suddenly don’t want to go home.

I send Izzy a text telling her I love her and put my phone back in my jeans pocket.

I hear it chime in my pocket, but I don’t look at it, I can’t.

I drive around for a few hours, wondering if I’m good enough, wondering if I deserve this beautiful woman in my life.

Self-doubt is leaving me scared and full of emotions I don’t want to deal with right now.

I contemplate all the things I've done in my life and the women I've used to dull the heartache from not having the one I really want.

Before I realize it, I'm at the racetrack walking around. I’ve been here for hours, questioning myself, wondering if I am worthy of having Izzy’s love.

I have a big bottle of whiskey in my hand and I'm slamming it down. I don’t even remember where or how I got it.

I stumble a little and right myself before I fall on my face.

I spot Nolan standing at the end of the pits, glaring at me, night has settled, and the fluorescent lights make him look more menacing.

I approach him and offer him a drink. Nolan bats it away and I almost drop the bottle.

“Bro, what the fuck are you doing?" His tone has a hard edge and that pisses me off.

“What the fuck does it look like? I'm having a drink,” I answer. His eyebrows raise.

“Why are you doing this?" Nolan asks. I shrug my shoulders.

“Dunno,” I answer.

“That's bullshit and you know it. What happened?"

I take a deep breath and close my eyes. “I got what I've always wanted and realized, I'm not good enough,” I answer. Anger is in Nolan’s brown eyes as he glares at me. He points a finger in my chest, jabbing it.

“Get your fucking shit together, bro. You found your soul mate, not many people get that, but you did. Man up and instead of wallowing in the poor fuck me attitude, go get your fucking girl.” Nolan huffs out

Anger vibrates through my body, my hands are shaking.

“You don't know fucking shit, asshole," I shout, getting in Nolan’s face so we're inches apart.

“I'm not good enough for her. Why can't you see that?

" I whispered taking a deep breath. “I'm not good enough,” I whisper and sit down in the grass. My biggest fear is out in the open. It doesn’t make me feel any better, only worse.

Nolan sits next to me, taking the bottle out of my hand. He takes a drink and hands it back.

“You are good enough. You two are so right for each other. That scares the hell out of you. Is that it? You know there will be no other ass and you don't want to commit?" He asks.

I shake my head. “No. I want to commit, but I don't want to fuck it up. If I do, I will lose myself. That's what scares me. If I lose her, I will lose myself.” I whisper the last part.

Nolan nods his head and gets up. There is a hint of something in his eyes, but I can’t quite put my finger on it. Shit, I can’t even put my finger up, let alone figure out how to put it on, Nolan. Why am I putting my finger on Nolan?

“Where are you going?" I ask him.

“I have business to take care of. Watch your back. Things are going on that you don't know about." Nolan gets up and leaves without a look back.

Shrugging it off, I get the urge to take a piss.

I stumbled getting up and my head is spinning.

The lights on down here in the pits help guide me as I make my way to the weeds, stumbling more.

I find a tree to lean against. Man, I'm fucking drunk.

I throw the bottle as far as I can and smirk when I hear it smash against another tree.

I've made up my mind. I’ve decided that I will not run away from a good thing. Izzy is worth fighting my insecurities and demons for. I relieve myself, still leaning against a tree when I feel someone approach me from behind. My body goes stiff when long fingernails scrape my scalp.

“Well, hello there, Xavier. I've been waiting for you to get away from that bitch.” A woman's voice says venom dripping from every word.

She stays behind me so I can’t see her face. I try to leave, but she has a hold of my hair tightly and I'm too drunk to move. I'm on the verge of passing out when she pulls a needle out and waves it in front of my face.

“This will make her leave you alone, finally. You will be mine and if she interferes again, I will kill her,” The psycho hisses.

“Izzy won't believe you.” I'm so pissed, but I can't move.

“Oh yes, she will.” She stabs my neck with the needle and my body is disconnecting with my brain.

My head is swimming with fear and I can't move my hands.

I can hear everything around me, but I can't do anything. I’m paralyzed on the ground.

The psycho bitch reaches into my pocket and pulls my phone out.

She sends a message to someone and closes it.

Then she shoves me down onto the ground and is straddling me, moving her hips back and forth against my jean covered crotch.

She throws her head back in ecstasy. “Oh yeah," she moans as she gets herself off. My stomach is rolling from disgust, but I still can’t move.

She leans down and whispers in my ear. “Now she'll believe it. You are mine.” She sucks on my neck, gets off me, and disappears into the shadows. Sleep finally finds me and I pass out.

I've lost track of time when I came to. I slowly sit up and shake my head. I stand up still groggy and buzzed. Thinking whatever happened must have been a dream. There is no one around me as I make my way back to the pits.

The lights hit my eyes, blinding me for a few seconds when I see Izzy standing there. A look of torture passes across her face when she takes in my appearance. My clothes are disheveled, and my hair is messy.

“Are you fucking kidding me." She’s horrified, tears are rolling down her cheeks.

I try to stop her, but I can't get the words out.

My tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth, like sandpaper.

She looks behind me, her eyes widen with horror.

I can't move, I'm frozen to my spot to see what has her crying. She runs off and I finally snap out of it, but she is gone before I can catch her. My heart sinks with the realization that she’s gone.