Page 73 of Racing Dirty Trilogy Box Set

"Keep watching me, no one or anything else." She says, keeping eye contact. The noises from the bustling city come back into my ears, louder than they were before. She did it, she brought me back from the evil attempting to take over. I thought I had that side under control, but I don’t and that scares the hell out of me. There’s no telling what I’ll do when I lose control, I’m a danger to everyone around me.

"Thank you," I slam my lips onto hers, kissing her with such passion it takes my breath away.

I pull apart from our kiss and keep my eyes locked on hers.

We're moving again, she's walking backward, not breaking eye contact or letting me go.

Her soft hands are under my hoodie, caressing my skin, my scars.

A shudder runs through my body from her touch.

"We're almost there." She says, only talking to me. No one else. She knows what I need at this moment and that's her full attention. "Are you under control now?"

"Yes, thank you." I kiss her gently on the lips and she sighs into my mouth. "Please don't do that again. I could have hurt you and then I would’ve really lost it."

"No, you won't. He recognizes me and knows I'm not a threat. I'm not afraid, Nolan. I battle with the same thing every day. I wonder every day if the pain I’ve endured throughout my life is worth looking for the light or if I should succumb to the darkness. There are days when I think it’s not worth fighting. It’s easier to not give a shit.

Then I look at my family and it makes me want to fight it, be a better person.

" Ashley rests her fingers on my jaw and rubs it gently. I sigh and close my eyes.

"Are we good now?" A deep voice asks from behind me. I snap my head towards the voice and Ashton backs up a little. I blink twice and take another deep breath, more in control now.

"Yes, we're good," I answer. Regret fills me thinking about killing him a moment ago.

"Don't say it," Ashton says. "No regrets. I knew what I was getting into and I know what you battle with. We all have our own demons trying to control us."

"Are you good?" Ashley asks, dragging my eyes back to her light ones. "I need to turn around and walk inside, but I can do it backward if you're not fully in control."

I close my eyes and tilt my head back. I search inside me, finding peace for the moment. I tilt my head back down finding light brown eyes, watching me.

"Yes. I'm in control. We're good."

She gives me another smile that lights up my world and turns around.

She pulls my hands around her waist and locks our fingers together, so my front is against her back.

We walk slowly into the building and towards the elevators.

Marks and Ramirez are waiting for us next to the mailboxes.

When they see us, they push off the wall and head in our direction.

My heart thumps hard again from their approach and my hands tighten around Ashley, believing they are a threat to her.

"Stay back," Ashton warns them. They both halt their movements and study me questioningly. "Now isn't a good time. Follow behind Redline, slowly."

They do what Ashton says and I relax a little.

The elevator doors ding open and Ashley and I step in.

We turn around together and Christian hands Ashley a key.

A snarl leaves my lips from how close he is.

Maybe I don't have total control yet. Christian throws his hands up in surrender, not making eye contact with me. Smart man.

"He's just giving me a key to our own place," Ashley scolds. She shows me the key and I relax a little. The elevator doors close, shutting us out from them. My lips dart across Ashley's neck and she shudders from my touch.

"That feels good," she says, tilting her neck to give me better access.

My tongue snakes out licking the side of her neck, tasting her.

Blood is thrumming through my veins full of want and desire to have this woman.

She pushes her ass against my hardness and a groan escapes my lips.

My blood pressure rises, the higher we ascend.

By the time the doors open, the sexual tension is so high, I don't know if I can move.

Ashley keeps me against her and we walk down the hallway.

She stops at a door and I'm too busy kissing and sucking on the side of her neck to pay attention to where we are.

The need to be buried inside her is overtaking my other senses.

She finally has the door unlocked and we stumble inside.

My hands are caressing her skin under her shirt.

She releases a moan of approval at my assault that vibrates through my body.

I slam the door shut with my foot and my mouth is upon hers, taking her breath away.

Picking her up, she wraps her legs around my waist.

"Fuck, I need you," I groan.

Ashley pulls back a little and I stare into her eyes filled with lust, love, and need.

The demon is battling to break free and mark her as ours.

Her back hits the wall, and I pin her against it with my hips.

I rip her shirt over her head and toss it somewhere behind me.

I remove her bra and her full breasts spill free of the confinements.

I bury my face in her chest and Ashley lets out a moan, it vibrates straight into my body.

I can't wait any longer. I've had enough foreplay for now.

Tugging her away from the wall, she still has her legs locked around my waist, and I blindly walk down a small hallway and into a bedroom.

Ashley's full lips are sucking on the side of my neck, trusting me to take her away from all the pain and worry, even if it's short-lived.

I enter the bedroom and toss her down onto the queen-sized bed.

She bounces for a moment before righting herself.

I rip my shirt over my head and crawl my way to her, stalking my prey.

My blood is pumping hard through my veins as my lips descend upon her half-naked body.

I kiss my way from her full breasts, down her flat stomach, to the top of her jeans.

Ashley's hands are in my hair, tugging it from the roots, creating a pleasurable pain as I pop the button open and slide the zipper down.

I yank her jeans and panties down her golden-kissed legs and toss them behind me.

I lick and nibble a path up each leg. Ashley lets out a low moan and her body is withering under my touch.

"Quit teasing me," she says passionately.

I remove my jeans and boxers quickly while Ashley catches her breath. She watches me crawl my way up her satiated body, licking and biting as I go. She grabs my face and looks me directly in the eyes.

"Nolan, I love everything about you. All your scars, all you battle with, your past, your present, and your future. There's nothing that will take you away from me and I will fight for you every day. Don't lose focus on that. I'm here and I always will be."

"I love you too, Ashley. Thank you for being in my life and helping me battle with my past. I don't know where I'd be right now if you didn't pull me back. I do know where I want to be though," I wiggle my eyebrows up and down and press against her. She lets out a half giggle, half moan.

"What the hell are you waiting for?" she groans.

"I'm going to take you hard and fast. It's been building for a while and he's ready to explode."

Ashley presses her lips hard against mine and opens her mouth to allow me access.

My blood pumps furiously in my veins, my heart is beating hard against my chest. I close my eyes, trying to control my urges.

My hips move to the rhythm of her hand and I'm on the edge of losing it, to succumb to the evil lurking inside me.

I remove her hand and bring it up above her head locking our fingers together.

I stare into Ashley's eyes and try to control myself.

"With as pleasurable as that was, now's not the time to test my control.

I've been wanting you since I left L.A., and today's events have brought the demon to the surface.

I can't control the rage battling inside of me and if you keep teasing me, I'll end up hurting you.

Pain does not equal pleasure in my world and I don't want any of my past to touch you.

I want you to feel loved and cherished, not used and abused, so please let me do this my way so I can control myself better. "

"I'm all yours, ready and willing. If you need hard and fast or slow and gentle.

I get it, I really do. I'm not holding anything back.

My love for you is stronger than anything thrown at us, so when you're ready, so am I.

" Ashley brings her lips up to my ear and nibbles on the outer edge, sending a shiver down my spine.

"Whatever you need, Nolan, I'm here and ready. "

With those words, I plunge into her. It satiates the rage battling inside of me for the moment.

Moans of pleasure rip from our throats as we move together as one.

We're skin to skin, my heart is beating hard against my chest. Ashley's slender form shudders under my hands.

The smell of sex and sweat is heavy in the air around us.

Ashley moans my name and my eyes snap up.

I almost lose it watching her pleasure herself.

Trailing my thumb across her hip, she moans louder under my touch.

Unable to control myself any longer, I let go.

I let go of the pain and the past haunting me.

I let go of everything trying to bring me down.

I'm here in this moment with this beautiful woman who's touched my heart, my mind, and my soul.

Who's accepted me for who I am, not what she wants me to be.

With her by my side, I can do anything, be anything.

"I'm coming," I grunt.

"So am I, Nolan." Ashley pleads, breathlessly.

A moan rips from Ashley's lips as she tightens around me, matching me thrust for thrust. Fire burns down my spine, and dark spots cloud my vision of the beauty under me, succumbing to the pleasure I'm giving her.

We both dive off the edge with groans filling the room, our breathing is rapid, and my heart is hammering in my chest.

Rolling my hips slowly, I lean down and kiss her with such passion, that I don't remember my own name. Aftershocks wrack our bodies when I pull my lips from her and bury my face in her hair.

"It gets better every time we're together," Ashley's breathless voice mumbles against my shoulder.

I pick my head up and stare into her honey-colored eyes. Her cheeks are flushed, sweat is on her brow and her chest is rising and falling in rapid succession.

"Yes, it does. No matter what happens, you'll always be my safe haven. The one I can turn to and trust with my whole being. That means a lot to me, Ash." I swallow hard and push her sweaty hair out of her face. She grips my face with her slender fingers.

"Me too, Nolan. I love being your safe haven." She replies. My stomach growls, breaking our little bubble. "I think someone's worked up and appetite." She giggles. I kiss her lips gently.

"I wonder how? It's not like I did anything strenuous, I think he did all the work." I wiggle my eyebrows at her and she burst out laughing. "I want you again."

We make love one more time. This time it's slow and gentle and I bring us both to another mind-blowing orgasm.

Touching each other on a higher level than ever before, I realize that without her, I'd be giving in to the urges of bloodlust and revenge in a heartbeat.

She completes every part of me and keeps me grounded.