Page 39 of Racing Dirty Trilogy Box Set

“I wish I did too. I picked up my phone so many times to call you, but I never got the courage to hit the button. I was afraid of you not answering me or answering me and telling me to fuck off. Every time I brought up your name on my phone, I would see the picture Nolan took of us and I’d feel like I didn’t deserve you.

We were only eighteen and I was afraid I’d screw it up if I talked to you.

I was afraid I’d push you away and be miserable for the rest of my life.

My parents told me that if it was meant to be, we would find each other again.

I just didn’t want it to be this way, but I’m happy you’re back in my life and will soon be my wife.

" I bring my head up and peer into his eyes.

“We need to talk about that night,” I say. Xavier shakes his head rapidly.

“I already talked about it, I don’t want to anymore,” he huffs out.

“I know that it’s painful, but I need to tell you something about that night.”

We sit up in his bed. Xavier leans his back against the headboard and I take in his naked body.

His muscles are the first thing I see. They’re everywhere, from his arms to his hands, down to his six-pack, creating that delicious V between his hips.

The intricate tattoos around his shoulders going down his biceps are defined against his tanned skin and they connect across his back.

His muscles are tense and I need to tell him what I know.

I lean against him, the hard ridges of his body sending desire through my veins. I grab his hands and bring them around my bare stomach, holding onto them.

“I got a text that night from you. I was worried when the last thing I got from you was a message telling me you loved me.

I responded back and then went out of my mind, waiting for a reply.

I had so many thoughts running through my head, none of them were good.

I thought you got what you wanted and were done with me.

Insecurities bombarded my head when the day turned to night and I got nothing.

Nolan told me you were at the track. Then my phone chimed a few minutes later with a message from you.

Well, I thought it was from you." I take a deep breath and Xavier’s body stiffens under me.

“What did the message say?" He asked. “It was erased when I tried to call you." I hold onto his hands caressing my stomach tighter, giving me the strength to get through this.

“It said, ‘Sorry Izzy, but this isn’t what I want. There is someone else who I’ve been seeing for a while and she’s the one I want. It was fun while it lasted, but I’m over it. I got what I wanted from you.” I take a deep breath, tears forming in my eyes when his hands tighten around my stomach.

“What a bitch," Xavier roars. “No wonder you believed what she said the next day. Your head was still fucked up from that message."

“Yeah, it was, then when she told me she was pregnant with your child, I believed her. I should have talked to you, but I was so hurt, I couldn’t bring myself to face you.”

I turn so we’re face to face, his jaw is set, and his eyes have a cold hard look in them. He brings his eyes to mine. Tears are forming in my eyes and one rolls down my cheek. He wipes it away gently, his eyes turning soft.

“B, you’re all I’ve ever wanted, and I told you the truth about loving you."

“I know that now, but I didn’t back then,” I answer, quietly. He leans up, so our foreheads are touching. I breathe him in like it’s my last breath.

“I should have fought harder for you,” Xavier whispers.

“I should have gone after you. The look in your eyes killed my soul. Knowing I caused that pain, I thought you would be better off without me. I was already second-guessing myself about being worthy enough for you,” he chokes out.

He cups my face with his hands, his thumbs caressing my cheeks, and looks me in the eyes.

“I love you B, always have and always will."

I kiss him hard and desire flows through my body. I break the kiss breathing hard, “I know X, I love you too, always have and always will." He pulls me closer to him and I suck in a breath. “The things you do to me,” I whisper against his lips.

“Look at me, B,” his voice commands.

Xavier keeps eye contact with me as our bodies connect again.

His gaze hooded with desire and I keep mine on him, peering into his soul.

Something changes, he sees into my soul, and he knows I’m every part of him as he is of me.

I let out another moan, and an orgasm builds starting deep in my stomach and spreading through my body.

“Love me, X.” I groan.

“Shit B, I can’t hold on much longer when you talk like that,” Xavier pants.

He kisses me, our lips and tongues fighting dominance, teeth scraping against each other. He breaks the kiss and nips his way down my throat.

My body’s reaction to his sends him over the edge.

He holds my hands, locking our fingers together.

I find my release and scream out his name.

I see black as my orgasm takes over. His hands squeeze mine hard and his tongue licks my throat.

He moans my name as he explodes inside of me, sending me over one more time.

We stay wrapped in each other for a few moments, both of us trying to catch our breath.

We connected on a deeper level tonight and he gave me something special.

He gave me all of him, just as I gave him all of me.

I caress my hands through his black hair while we compose ourselves.

Xavier finds the strength to move his weight off me and curls me against him, his arms holding me tight.

“I love you, X,” I whisper before I fall asleep.

“I love you too, B, more than you’ll ever know,” he whispers back.

Sleep finally finds us as we stay wrapped around each other. Giving each other comfort in the chaos of the storm.