Page 55 of Purgatory (Devil Dogs of the Apocalypse #1)

Alessandra

It’s dark… too dark. I can’t see anything. Up. Down. Left. Right. Nothing. But I can hear it…The laughter amongst them. The heavy breathing surrounding my face as I’m held down. Why am I being held down? Why can’t I see anything?

I try to call out but my voice is nonexistent. No matter how much I try to force my voice to yell or scream or cry or ache with a whimper, there’s nothing. Not even a whisper.

I’m trapped. Suspended. Locked in place with no hope to escape the void.

The voices diminish, and a soft light glows in the distance.

Three figures cast in shadows await in the timid darkness.

Are they waiting for me? Or for something else?

I can’t tell. I can’t move. Can’t call out for help.

But then they’re there. Not literally near me, but within me.

I can feel them. Their intentions. Their determination.

Their ambition. Their love. It flows through me and allows my fingers to loosen and my body to respond to my demands.

It awakens my senses in such a way it makes me believe that until this moment, I wasn’t really alive.

Just a speck of dust, floating in the ether.

My smile only lasts moments before they collectively turn away, facing away from me and towards a red sun.

It’s edges billowing with smoke and embers before they raise their arms and charge into its fury, disappearing within its depths.

I start to run towards them, calling for them but it’s no use.

They’re gone. Leaving me in the darkness. Alone again .

I wake with a start. My heavy breathing loud in the quiet, strange and unfamiliar place.

My body’s shaking and I can’t seem to stop the tremors overtaking my body.

I reach up to touch my face, trying to tame the headache currently splitting my skull, and find that my forehead is covered in a layer of cold sweat.

“What the hell happened to me?”

I can’t seem to move. It feels like there’s a weight holding me down and I’m instantly reminded of my nightmare.

I shake the niggling thought from my brain and force myself to think logically.

I’ve heard of sleep paralysis but I can move my arms, so I know it’s not that.

I try to wiggle my toes and the little piggies dance like they should.

It’s not until I put my arms back down that I feel it. The weight holding me down.

I look down at my waist and notice a huge arm across it.

The arm, no doubt, belongs to a guy, but after the nightmare I just had and the fact that nothing in this room resembles anything I know, my heart rate picks up a little despite my wanting to remain rational.

I’m on my side, facing away from the owner of the heavy appendage.

Little spoon to his big spoon. My movements must have disturbed him because he starts to groan and squeeze my waist tighter.

I feel him nuzzle his face into the back of my head, pushing closer into my hair.

I feel soft kisses being placed on the crown of my head and I’m wracking my brain trying to figure out how I got myself here.

Last I remember, I went looking for Jax and then... oh shit...JAX. I breathe a sigh of relief. The memories of last night flooding my brain. It’s Jax. He’s here with me. He came for me. He fought for me. He killed for me. He told me he loves me.

He told me he loves me.

Butterflies erupt deep in my belly threatening to tear me open and fly up and out of me. I turn over to face him and when I do, my breath gets stolen from me .

Toned, tan, olive skin. Chiseled. Sculpted. I’ve never wanted to lick someone before, but this man simply looks delicious. And he loves me. I can’t help but burrow my head into his chest, pushing myself into him so that I can be as close as possible. This wakes him up.

“Mmmmm, morning, baby doll.” He says in a deep, dark, husky timber as he lifts his arm, his fingers caressing my face, while he plants soft kisses on my forehead.

He doesn’t stop at just one or two. It’s like he’s making up for missed time as he plants a fourth kiss.

It isn’t until I speak that he stops, giving me all of his attention.

“Good morning...” I scrunch my nose, cocking my head to the side. “Is it morning? It's still dark out.” I strain to look out the window on the far side of the room. I see a little bit of light. Must be dawn on the verge of breaking through.

“If it isn’t it will be soon. I’m in no rush though. Not when I have you in my arms. I’m perfectly happy staying right here for as long as you’d like.” I smile at that.

“Stinky breath and all?” I give him a coy smile.

“Stinky dragon breath and all.” He laughs. He fucking laughs! And I absolutely love the sound. Who knew? The broody beast actually does laugh. Maybe pigs do fly after all.

A thought occurs to me and although I don’t want to even think about posing the question to him, worried about what his response would be, I need to know. I need to make sure he’s on board.

“Jax... Are you ok… with this?” I lift my eyes to his, hoping he sees the seriousness of the question in them.

“With what? You in my arms from now until the day I die? Sounds like a pretty good plan to me. What’s to not be ok with?” He responds flippantly, playing with a piece of my hair that fell between us .

“No, I mean… my being with all of you. I know Hawk and Cole are ok with it, that they’ve talked about it, but what about you? It’s not the most conventional relationship, I know. But would you be able to look past any possessiveness or jealousy if I chose to be with all of you?”

He pulls me closer into him, wrapping me in his warmth, as his eyebrows pull together in a serious way.

“Baby, I will always be possessive of you. And, of course, I’m going to be jealous of you being with my best friends.

Who the hell wouldn’t be? But I also see it like this- I won’t have to worry about if you’re taken care of if I’m not with you.

If you’re safe. If you’re happy. My brothers are like an extension of me and as an extension of me, I know they will treat you the way you are meant to be treated, even if I’m not there to show you how I’d like to treat my little doll right then and there.

” He grins conspiratorially, making a tiny tremor of excitement flow through me. “How do you feel?”

How do I feel? Happy? Ecstatic? Gloriously exhausted due to this man right here? Check, check and check. But none of that describes me to the full extent that I need it to, so I tell him how my heart feels.

“I feel like I’m home.” I giggle under my breath. “I don’t know if that makes sense but it feels right. I’m loved. I’m safe. They say home is where the heart is, and you all have it. Fully and completely.”

The smirk he gives me should be illegal, but then it morphs into something just this side of obnoxious. His lips purse together as if he’s trying to keep himself from laughing.

What the poop! First of all, I’m pouring my heart out here. Secondly, if he’s making fun of me and smiling I should be mad but all I want to do is kiss his gorgeous, stupid face. And thirdly! .... ah fuck what was I mad about? Oh, that’s right!

“What?” I ask, almost embarrassed by the sappiness of what I said.

“Did you just say ‘ home is where the heart is ?’” His eyes drift off to the side of the room where the rising sun slowly illuminates a crocheted piece of craftwork hanging on the wall that says....

“Oh, holy fuck balls. I’m never gonna live this down.”

I realize a second too late that I said the last bit out loud when he starts his laughing nonsense again. Now at my expense. Yaaaaaay.

Nope. Gonna have to go find that sledgehammer downstairs, heave it up in the air and position myself under it.

My head falls into my hands with the need to hide both myself and my embarrassment while my mind decides that right now is the perfect time to make various sounds that can only be found in video games when a character dies.

Fatality! Total annihilation! Even the sound when a determined plumber gets hit by a rogue turtle.

All the sad, pitiful memories of my youth come barreling to the forefront of my brain.

Jax must see my suffering and slowly pries my hands from my face, tipping my chin up to look at him and his, now, full on, teeth showing, happier than a clam, Cheshire cat grin.

“Hey. I love you. And home must be where the heart is because as I have yours, you surely have mine as well. I can’t imagine anywhere else I’d rather it be than with you.

” He leans down, barely brushing his lips against mine.

It’s so gentle, so opposite to how I’ve seen Jax but yet so him now that I finally see him in his entirety.

The fractured puzzle pieces finally placed where they belong.

I lift up slightly to push my lips further into his but he evades my attempts, pulling away each time I try to capture his.

His little smiles of defiance making this a game to him but eventually he caves and gives me what I’m practically begging for.

He moves in and presses against me hard, taking my breath away.

The kiss deepens to the point that he crawls over me and settles between my legs.

I can feel every muscle tense and contract as he moves over me.

Reaching my arms around him I can feel the muscles in his back bunch and ease and I can’t help but run my hands over them.

A calming sense of protection overtakes my body as I sigh into the kiss and pull him in for more.

My eyes and ears focus solely on us and the moment we’re taking for ourselves. Jax’s senses are much more in tune with our surroundings, however, because his entire body tenses, suddenly. It’s then I notice the bedroom door slam open and the men stepping inside.

“Well, well, well, look what we have here. Morning mother fuckers!”