Page 37

37

Maya

L ast night with Christian was…perfect.

My perfect first time.

Finally.

I fight against the persistent smile on my face since it’s inappropriate for a graveside service. But I can’t find it in me to care.

My father may have been an asshole, but he had a ton of friends at the local church who showed up to say goodbye to him.

I’m just ready for the service to be over with so I can get out of the heat and back to the house. Christian stayed with Finley, even though I wish he could’ve been in both places at once. Nobody said a word about how we spent about two hours in bed together last night before joining them downstairs, either.

After apple pie and ice cream, my mom gave Finley a superhero Lego set with dinosaurs, as if she knew exactly what he would love before she ever met him, so he certainly didn’t notice our long absence. Only Elle couldn’t keep a straight face at the sight of us with ruffled hair and faces flushed.

Finley wanted to stay at the house with Elle and Preston, but Christian and I left for the nearby hotel for some alone time. I’m surprised nobody called security on us for being too loud. I have no doubt our laughter and other sounds could be heard up and down the hallway all night.

“So, I guess you’re all leaving this afternoon,” my mother says as soon as the funeral home’s limo drops us back off in front of the house. The woman didn’t shed a single tear during the funeral. In fact, while there may have been dozens of people who showed up, nobody cried for the loss of my father.

“Yes, we’ll take our sin and be out of your hair soon,” I reply as I start up the porch steps.

“What she said,” Preston agrees from where he and Elle are following behind me.

“Well, if sin is what made my beautiful grandson, then…you should do more of it.”

That has my feet freezing for a second before I turn to face her. “You don’t get to call him that. He’s not your grandson. You’re not his grandmother. You’re a stranger he didn’t even know existed until yesterday,” I remind her quietly, because my throat is a little sore from the cries of pleasure last night and I don’t want Finley to overhear from inside.

My mother doesn’t even flinch at my harsh words. “I hate what your father did to you, Maya. But what choice did I have? You know he never let me work a day in my life, and I don’t have a brother or anyone else who would’ve taken me in!”

I’m not sure what to say to that. I guess, in a way, my mom’s options have always been just as limited as my own. “You could’ve come and lived with me and Preston.”

“Could I? I wasn’t sure if you two would ever speak to me again!”

“If you had left dad, then we would’ve welcomed you into our home with open arms,” Preston tells her as he steps up beside me. “But you loved him more.”

“What he said,” I agree rather than admit that I missed her, that I would’ve loved to have her in my life during the pregnancy and raising Finley.

“Yes, I loved him, even when he was a judgmental jackass,” our mother declares. “But I loved my kids more.” Sighing heavily, she says, “I hope it’s a decision you never have to make, choosing between your children and your husband or wife.”

“Let’s grab Finley and then hit the road. I want you two to get home before it gets late,” Preston says to me rather than continue a pointless argument with her.

“Please…please let me see him again,” Mama begs from behind us.

Preston glances at me, then tells her, “You want to see him again, but not us.”

“I want to see all five of you, but Finley’s the only one who doesn’t hate me!” she declares.

“Five?” I ask in confusion.

“Preston, you, Elle, Christian, and my grandson,” Mama says simply. “Elle, you’re a nice girl, but I know you’re angry at me on Preston’s behalf. And Christian, well, I can’t imagine how much he despises me since I never sent you his letters.” She wrings her hands and adds, “Your father told me to throw them out, but I hid them in one of my shoe boxes. I know I shouldn’t have read them. I didn’t until he died. I just wanted to know if they were worth giving to you after all these years. If I had known the boy wanted to marry you, then I would’ve sent them on…”

“Wait, what?” Preston jumps in and asks. “Christian wanted to marry you?”

I nod. “He asked me in a letter that I just read yesterday .” I glare at our mother in silent accusal. “He even bought me a ring, one that’s still sitting in his junk drawer.”

Elle gasps. “That’s why he got so mad when I opened the drawer one time looking for a fork!”

“I’m sorry!” Mama exclaims. “I wish I could go back and make it all right, but I can’t. Now that your father is gone, I just hope I can try to fix what he broke.”

“That decision is up to Maya,” Preston says. “You destroyed her. I wouldn’t blame her for never forgiving you.”

She looks to me…waiting for my verdict.

“You never called me,” I whisper. “You never sent me and Finley a Christmas card like you sent Preston. Daddy wouldn’t have known if you had reached out, so why did you pretend like my son and I didn’t exist?”

“I…well, I couldn’t risk him finding out.”

That excuse makes me scoff.

“You don’t know how he was after you two turned your backs on us!” she exclaims. “I-I yelled at him, told him he needed to apologize to you, or I was going to leave him, and he hit me so hard I woke up on the floor.” She reaches up and rubs the side of her face absently. “I missed church for two weeks to hide the bruises. After that, I kept my mouth shut. And I thought…I thought maybe you two would be better off without him in your life.”

Aw, crap.

Hearing what she went through as a mother myself now, what she was willing to put up with to protect us, I can’t help but forgive her a tiny bit. I even do something I never thought I would do again. I throw my arms around her shoulders to hug her.

“I’m glad he’s dead,” I tell her.

“Me too,” Preston agrees as he grabs us both in a bear hug.

“Me three,” Mama says, making me smile through the tears. Eventually, we break apart. While we’re all three swiping at the dampness on our cheeks, our mother says, “Please consider inviting me to the wedding.”

“What wedding?” Preston and I ask at the same time.

“Yours!” she exclaims. “It’s only a matter of time for you and Elle, right?” she asks my brother, who shares a look with Elle. “And you and Christian…well, it seems like you’re back together.”

“I guess we are,” I admit. “And I’m not ashamed of anything.”

Mama nods, then says the last thing I expected. “You have to admit…Christian is an ironic name for the man who got you pregnant out of wedlock.”

“Mama!” I huff, shaking my head at her even though there’s a smile on my lips. “Technically, I was a virgin the day Finley was born.”

“ What ?” our mother and Preston both asks with similar brows furrowed.

“You know what? Forget I said anything,” I tell them with a dismissive wave of my hand as I hurry inside to see my guys.