Page 25

25

Christian

T he sun is warm but not too harsh, and there’s a soft breeze blowing as I push Finley on the swing at the park.

I was surprised to see Preston and Elle at the house this morning, but I shouldn’t have been. I know why they’re here—to give Maya moral support.

Since I wanted some more time alone with Finley, I asked Maya if I could bring him to the park for an hour or so. I was a little shocked at how easily Finley agreed to leave his visiting uncle behind. I know Preston wants to spend time with his nephew, so I won’t keep him out long. I just want to make sure everything is okay between us now that the truth is out.

Finley’s laughter echoes through the park, and for a moment, I forget everything else. It’s just him and me—no stress, no history, no mistakes. Just a father enjoying the summer day with his son.

The word hits me like a punch to the gut. It’s what I am, what I should’ve been all along. And now my son knows the truth.

Finley looks up at me, his little face lighting up with joy, and I swear, I’d give anything to hold on to this moment forever.

“Higher, Christian!” he shouts, his voice filled with excitement.

I give the swing another push, and he soars higher, the wind rushing through his hair. His giggles fill the air again, and my chest tightens with a mix of pride and something deeper—something I can’t quite put into words. I watch him, and for the first time in a long time, I feel like I’m right where I’m supposed to be, something I haven’t felt since those few days Maya and I had together before I screwed it up. Back then, being with her was the best part of my day, helping me forget all about trying to get picked up by a professional hockey team.

Thinking of Finley as my son feels more real now. There’s no more pretending to just be a cool friend or hockey player he looks up to.

I’m his father. And he’s…everything I never knew I wanted, everything I’ve been missing in my life. And he seems to love spending time with me, as if there’s no other place he would rather be.

As the swing slows down, Finley drags his feet along the grass and dirt, stopping himself. “Can we go play on the jungle gym?” he asks, hopping off the swing.

“Of course, buddy.” I follow him as he sprints toward the apparatus, his little legs carrying him as quick as they can. He really is fast for his age.

I watch as he climbs up the bars, his hands gripping them with confidence. My son is damn strong too, which makes a smile tug at my lips. He’s so strong and fearless. It’s incredible to think that I had a hand in making this amazing little human. Not that I think he got his strength and fearlessness from me…

“Look, Christian! I made it to the top!” Finley calls out from the highest platform, waving at me with a wide grin.

“Yeah, I see you! Great job, Finley!” I call back, my heart swelling with pride.

He beams at my words, his face lighting up even more, and I realize just how much my approval means to him. I’m not sure why I’m surprised since my father always held that same power over me. Still, it’s a sobering thought—how much power I have in his life, how much influence. And I’ve wasted so much time. But I’m not going to waste it anymore.

Finley runs across the adjoining rope bridge, heading for the slide. I move closer to catch him at the bottom. He slides down with a squeal of joy, landing in my arms with a giggle as I scoop him up.

When I set him down, he glances up at me with those big brown eyes of his—Maya’s eyes—and something in his expression changes. He looks serious and thoughtful in a way that makes him seem older than five.

“Christian?” he says, his voice soft.

“Yeah, buddy?” I crouch down so that I’m at his level, my heart beating a little faster for some reason.

“I think I want to call you ‘Dad’.”

His words hit me like a freight train. And for a second, I can’t breathe. My heart pounds like a drum in my chest, in my ears even, as I stare at him, this little boy who is so much a part of me, and I feel like the ground underneath my feet is shifting.

He wants to call me ‘Dad’.

I swallow hard, emotions surging through me so fast I can barely keep up. “Of course, Finley,” I manage to say, my voice thick. “I would love that.”

His face breaks into a huge smile, and he throws his arms around my neck, hugging me tight. “Okay, Dad,” he whispers, and this time, it’s not just a word. It’s real. It’s everything.

I close my eyes, hugging him back. For the first time in what feels like forever, I feel whole.

When Finley pulls back, his face is still glowing with happiness. “Can we go get ice cream, Dad?”

Dad. He said it again. My chest tightens, and I nod, forcing myself to keep it together. Part of me knows it was probably a ploy to get some dessert, but I don’t mind. “Yeah, buddy, let’s go get some ice cream. How many scoops do you think you can eat?” I ask him.

“Three!” he replies, holding up three fingers.

Maya is going to kill me for letting him have ice cream before noon.

We walk over to the stand near the park. This moment, this day, it’s everything I’ve been working toward, one I’ll never forget.

But the summer isn’t just about me and Finley. It’s about Maya, too. It’s about showing her that I’m here to stay, that I can be the father Finley deserves and be the man she needs. One day, the boyfriend or husband she deserves.

I have to make this work. I have to make her see that I’m ready for the life we should’ve had all along. The life I want now more than anything, even hockey.

For once, my own father’s words start to make sense to me.

He always told me that there’s more to life than chasing a puck with a stick. I think this, having a family, is what he meant in his own grumpy way. We were that perfect family, until my mom died, my father shut down, and I lost myself in girls and hockey to escape the sadness.

Finley and I order our ice cream—chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry scoops for Finley, vanilla for me—and then we sit on a bench, watching the other kids play. Finley chatters away, telling me about his favorite games and the friends he’s made at preschool who will be in his kindergarten class. I listen carefully, hanging on to every word like it’s the most important thing I’ve ever heard.

“When do you think we can do this again?” he asks, licking his dripping cone. “Like, go to the park and stuff when you go back to where you live? Do they have parks in Greensboro?”

“There are tons of awesome parks in Greensboro,” I assure him. “And I’m not sure when,” I tell him honestly. “But as soon as we can, we’ll visit them all.”

My son grins, his face smeared with chocolate ice cream, making me laugh. I reach over to wipe it away with a napkin. He looks so happy, so carefree, and it hits me again just how much of his life that I’ve missed.

But I’m here now, and I’m not going anywhere.

Well, I am, but it’s not for good.

Hockey may no longer be my priority, but it’s the only way I can earn a living to make sure Finley and Maya have everything they could ever need.

As we finish our ice cream, I start thinking about Maya again, about how I need to talk to her, to show her that I’m serious about being hers in every way. I’ve been trying, but I need to do more. I need to confront her fears and her insecurities and prove to her that I’m not the same guy who left her twice. I’m not going to run this time. I’m not going to hurt her ever again.

Once Finley is full, he trashes his leftover cone and runs off to play on the swings again. I pull out my phone, staring at Maya’s number for a long moment. I want to call her to tell her how much today has meant to me and how much Finley means to me. But I know it’s more than just words. She needs to see it, to believe it.

After a while, Finley comes back, tired but happy, and we start walking back toward my new SUV. He’s holding my hand in his sticky one, swinging it back and forth, and the simple act makes my heart ache in the best way.

“Dad?” Finley says again, and I still can’t get used to hearing it. I don’t think I ever will.

“Yeah, buddy?”

“Can Mommy come with us to the parks where you live?”

I smile down at him, ruffling his hair. “Of course she can. I think she’ll love them too.”

Finley grins, and we climb into the car. I fasten him into the booster seat I bought just in case, right after I purchased the SUV, then drive us back toward Maya’s.

When we get to the house, Finley runs ahead, opening the front door and barging inside. I stand there on the porch with my hands in my pockets, trying to steady my breathing.

“Hey, sweetie! How was the park?” I hear Maya ask him.

“So much fun! Me and Dad got a big ice cream cone too!”

I wince at how fast he sold me out to her. Of course, it’s my own fault for caving. Besides, he called me dad again.

“Really? Ice cream? Before lunch?” Maya mutters.

“I’ll still eat all my lunch, promise!” he assures her, then, “Uncle Preston, you want to play the hockey game?”

“Heck yes,” Preston’s deep voice agrees. “I bet Elle wants to play, too.”

I’m so lost in eavesdropping that I startle when Maya appears in the doorway. “Are you going to come in or just stand out there all day?” she asks.

“Hey, yeah, I’ll come in,” I say, my voice a little rougher than I intended. “We had a good time.”

“Sounds like it,” she replies. “Ice cream this early, though? Really, Christian?”

“He called me dad,” I tell her in explanation.

Her eyes soften, filling with emotion. “Okay, fine. But you can’t spoil him every time he says it.”

“I know. Just the first time,” I tell her with a grin.

“I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks. I’m happy too.”

When I step inside, Maya’s eyes flicker to Finley, who’s telling Preston and Elle, “We went to the park and played on the swings and the slide. Oh, and I called Christian ‘Dad’ today!”

“That’s…great, Finley,” Preston tells him, and even his voice is a little shaky.

Maya looks at me then, and I can see the uncertainty in her eyes, the fear that has nothing to do with my bonding with Finley. But there’s something else, too—something that tells me she’s thinking about us—me and her.

There’s a long, heavy silence between us, but I decide to break it.

“I know you still don’t fully trust me,” I start quietly. “But, Maya, I will do anything, absolutely anything in this world…to hear you call me daddy.”

She puffs out a laugh and shakes her head, causing Preston and Elle to glance over their shoulders at us. Then Maya smiles and crosses her arms over her chest, her guard going up.

“But seriously, I love Finley,” I continue, my voice quiet and shaky. “I love him, and I want to be a part of his life. And I want to be a part of your life, too. I know I screwed up before, but I’m asking you to give me a chance to make it right. To be the father he deserves and the man you need me to be.”

Maya’s brown eyes fill with tears, and she looks away, biting her lip.

“I’m not asking you to forget everything that’s happened,” I say, taking a step closer. “I know it’s not going to be easy, especially during the season, but I’m willing to put in the work. Whatever it takes. However long it takes. Don’t give up on us.”

Her gaze drops to the ground, her lips pressed into a thin line. For a long moment, she doesn’t respond, and the silence is a weight pressing down on me. I feel my heart pounding in my chest, each second dragging longer than the last.

Finally, she exhales, her voice barely above a whisper. “Christian…I don’t know. Once you leave…the away games…even if you told me that you were faithful, I’m not sure if I would believe you.”

Her words hit me hard, but I don’t flinch. I know this is part of it. I know I can’t just expect her to put all her trust in me and it’s my own fault for earning the playboy reputation. “I get that,” I say, my voice steady but filled with sincerity. “I know I hurt you, and I’m sorry for everything, especially for my…reputation over the past five years. But I never stopped caring about you. And I’m not asking for a second chance today or tomorrow. I’m just asking for the opportunity to show you that I’m here, that I’m fully committed to you and Finley, for however long it takes. There could be a million women on the road, and I would only want you.”

She looks at me then, really looks at me. And for the first time, I see the conflict in her eyes. She wants to believe me, I can tell. There’s a part of her that still holds on to the good memories, to the trust she gave me to be her first, and the love we could have had before everything went wrong. But the hurt is there, too, and it runs deep.

“What happens when things get hard again?” she asks, her voice trembling slightly. “What if you decide it’s too much and you walk away? What if I let you back in and you break my heart all over again? Making things a mess with us is the last thing Finley needs.”

I take a deep breath, my chest aching. This is it. The moment of truth. “I’m not going anywhere, Maya. Not this time. I’m ready to face the hard stuff. I want to face it with you as a team. For Finley. For us.”

Her shoulders slump slightly, and she wipes at her eyes, looking more vulnerable than I’ve seen her in a long time. “I don’t know, Christian,” she whispers. “I just…I don’t know.”

I reach out, gently placing my hand on her arm, and to my relief, she doesn’t pull away from the touch in front of her brother and Elle, and in front of Finley. “I’m not asking for answers right now,” I say softly. “Just promise me that you’ll think about it.”

Maya’s eyes flicker, and I see a flash of something—hope, maybe?—in her expression. She nods, though it’s hesitant, and for the first time, I feel like we’ve taken a small step forward.

“I’ll think about it,” she finally says, her voice barely audible. “But Christian… no more empty promises. If you want this—if you really want to be part of our lives—then you have to mean it. No more disappearing when things get tough. No other women.”

I nod, my chest swelling with determination. “I mean it, Maya. I’m all in.”

She doesn’t say anything more; just gives me a small, uncertain smile before I turn and walk back to my car. I can’t rush her, and I know she needs to know that I have patience. The door closes behind me as my heart still races, but this time it’s different. There’s a spark of hope, and I’m not going to let that go.

From the driveway, I can still hear Finley’s chatter as he plays with Preston inside the house. I can still see the way he looked up at me today—calling me ‘Dad’ for the first time, like he’s been waiting his whole life to say it, to find me. And I know, without a doubt, that I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure I never let him down again.

I’ll prove to both of them that I’m worth this second chance.

I climb into the SUV, gripping the steering wheel tightly for a moment, letting the weight of the day settle in. This is just the beginning. I know there’s still a long way to go, but for the first time, I feel like I’m moving in the right direction.

I’m about to start the car when my phone dings in my pocket with a new text message. I take it out to read it before driving off…and thank god I did because it’s from Maya.

Do you want to stay for a while?

I don’t bother responding by text. I’m out of the car a second later and hurrying up to where Maya’s holding open the front door for me.