Page 18

18

Christian

T he sun hangs low in the sky, casting long shadows across the courtyard as I make my way into the hotel’s gym. The tension of my argument with Maya days ago is still hanging over me.

At least Preston and Elle hung around for a few days to keep the awkwardness to a minimum.

Still, there was a noticeable strain between me and Maya. And so far, she hasn’t changed her mind again about me staying at bedtime.

God, I miss kissing her and just having a few minutes to spend alone with her after sharing the day together with our son.

I can’t shake the feeling that I blew my opportunity for a second chance with Maya. And the worst part is, I’m not entirely sure what I did wrong.

Even though Preston and Elle obviously picked up on the weird vibe between me and Maya, and probably heard our argument the other night, Preston didn’t once threaten to kick my ass. No, he and Elle just gave me looks full of pity, as if they felt bad for me.

Since I need to talk to someone and it definitely won’t be Preston about this particular situation, I call up Luke.

“Hey, man. You back in town?” he answers.

“Not yet.”

“What the hell, Riley? You’ve been gone all summer.”

“I know. I’m still here in Bethesda.”

“No kidding? So, what’s up, man?” he asks. “You calling to make sure I haven’t gotten myself arrested, or do you have something else on your mind?”

“Yeah, there’s something on my mind,” I say, as I take a seat on the weight bench in the small, empty hotel gym. “Although I am glad to hear that you’re not behind bars.”

“Live and learn. What’s going on? You sound worse than you did after we lost the championship.”

“It’s Maya,” I admit.

“What happened with your baby mama?”

I exhale, trying to find the words. “We’ve been great together, no sex but other stuff, and it was amazing.”

“Okay, so what’s the problem?”

My chest tightens like it’s being squeezed in a vice as I tell him, “A few nights ago she said it was the last time, that she’s ready to move on, and we should end things because I’m going back to Greensboro soon. And the reason she won’t move, won’t give us a chance, and won’t tell Finley I’m his dad is all apparently because she says things will never work out between us.”

Luke lets out a low whistle. “Damn man, that’s rough.”

“And I didn’t really handle it well. I sort of blew up at her and stormed out of the house. Since then, I go over to spend the day with Finley, then I leave to go back to my hotel room.”

“So, what’s your plan now?”

“That’s the thing,” I say with the kind of frustration that makes me want to pull my hair out. “I don’t fucking know what to do. I don’t want to just sit around and do nothing. But I don’t know how to fix it if I don’t know what I did wrong. I think Maya meant it, about being done with me, like I screwed up my shot at redeeming myself with her.”

Luke is quiet for a moment. “You love her?”

“More than anything,” I say without hesitation, finally admitting it to myself as well. “She’s the mother of my kid. But even if she wasn’t, she’s… everything.”

“Alright, let’s break this down. You wanted to show her that you could be a good father, a good role model, and you did that after a few weeks, right?”

“Yes, I think so. Maya told me I was doing great with Finley.”

“Okay, and you weren’t fooling around with anyone else during that time?”

“I don’t want anyone but Maya. Like other women don’t even exist in my world now.”

“Did you tell her that?”

“Basically, but she just doesn’t believe me or trust me.”

“Okay, well, you can’t just tell her that you’re ready to settle down and expect her to believe it. I mean, would anyone believe Christian Riley is head over heels in love? No fucking way.”

“What the hell?” I huff.

“It’s true and you know it, thanks to your reputation. Words don’t mean shit. You need to show this woman that you mean business through your actions. Consistent actions. She’s been burned by you before, right? She’s going to need to see that you’re different, no longer the playboy of the hockey world.”

I run a hand through my hair, lying back on the bench as I consider his words. He’s right, of course. Maya has every reason to be cautious thanks to my history with puck bunnies. Not to mention that I’ve hurt her. More than once. I left her twice when she needed me the most. Of course, she’s scared of me fucking up again like it’s a pattern.

“But what can I do?” I ask Luke, my voice tinged with desperation. “I want to show her that I’m all in, that I’m not going anywhere.”

“Well, first off, you need to be present. Not just with the physical shit, but emotionally. Be there for her and for your kid. Every time you say you’re going to do something, you follow through. Show her that you’re reliable now, that you’re the kind of man she can depend on.”

“I’ve been doing that,” I say, my voice tight. “But it feels like every time I take a step forward with her, she pushes me back two steps. I don’t know how to get through to her.”

Luke chuckles softly. “You’re not going to get through to her by rushing things. If she’s been hurt, then you’ve got to be patient. If you really want her back, you’re going to have to earn her trust all over again. And that’s not going to happen overnight or by making her come a few times.”

“Fuck.”

“Is this woman worth waiting for?”

“Hell yes,” I answer without needing to think about it. I want Maya to be mine, and not just so that we can be a real family for Finley. I love her so damn much.

“Then calm your tits and quit trying to rush shit.”

I sigh from the weight of his words settling heavily on my shoulders. I know he’s right. Patience has never been my strong suit, but if I want Maya back for good, I’m going to have to give her as much time as she needs.

“You need a game plan,” Luke says. “Something that shows her you’re serious and in it for the long haul, and that your dedication to her and Finley is just as strong as your dedication to the game.”

I nod my agreement even though he can’t see, feeling a spark of determination. “Yeah. I need something big, though, something that will show her I’m not messing around this time.”

“Nah, man. You’ve got to think about the little things. Anyone can pull off a big, one-time grand gesture. It’s the small things on a consistent basis that will convince her.”

“There’s no way to do that before training starts, is there?” I ask, already knowing the answer.

“Probably not.”

“If I can’t convince Maya to give us a chance before Finley starts school here, then my chance of convincing her to move in with me in Greensboro is slim to none.”

“Jesus,” Luke mutters. “You asked the woman to move in with you?”

“Yes. It’s what I wanted years ago, but she wouldn’t return my calls or texts. And I swear I sent her so many cheesy ass letters, but she said she never got them.”

“Well, maybe her not moving in is for the best. You don’t want to jump into this too fast and screw it up, right?”

“Right.”

“Then you’re going to have to work on building her trust, all the way from North Carolina.”

“Fuck.” Putting that much distance between me and Maya feels like the bane of my existence, like it’s going to cost me everything.

And unfortunately, Maya’s made it clear she’s not ready to move and I don’t have a choice in going back to Greensboro. I have to show up for my team, keep earning money that maybe one day she’ll accept for herself and Finley.