Page 16

16

Christian

I didn’t follow Maya and Finley back to the house after the party. Instead, I stayed at the arena and played a pickup game with Preston and the Warhawks.

I’m happy to say that smug ass goalie Spencer Williams only blocked two of my shots, missing five of them.

I was trying to respect Maya’s wishes not to stay over once Finley goes to bed while Preston and Elle are in town. But I won’t deny that I was relieved when she sent me a text around ten telling me everyone had gone to bed and asking if I wanted to sneak in.

Hell yes or heck yes , was, of course, my instant response before I drove over from the hotel.

And since Maya insisted that we had to keep quiet, I came up with a great solution—keeping both of our mouths busy at the same time.

“That was it. That’s…that’s the last time we’re going to do this,” Maya says when she crawls off me. Her words sound like a bunch of gibberish since I’m still soaring high in ecstasy from having her ride my face while she simultaneously went down on me. It was so damn good, almost as good as sex with her would be, just because it felt less intimate, I guess…

When I finally come back down from the high, though, Maya’s words sink into my thick skull.

“You mean the last time tonight or that you’re not a fan of sixty-nining?” I ask in confusion. “Because it was fan-fucking-tastic for me, baby,” I tell her as I spin around so my head is at the foot of the bed with hers. While I’m completely naked, Maya’s still wearing her pajama top, despite my protests. I reach out and dip my finger into the center, tugging it down to get a better look at her beautiful bare breasts.

“Not…I didn’t mean. Yes, it was great,” she stammers. “All of it has been great, but we’ve let this go on for too long. We need to stop.”

“We need to stop? As in, stop getting each other off?”

“Yes.”

Arching an eyebrow, I wait for her to give me more of an explanation, but she doesn’t. “I thought you said we could keep it up all summer. So why are you now saying that we need to stop?”

“Because I have to move on,” Maya huffs as she sits up to grab her pajama bottoms and to pull them back up her legs. Watching her get dressed almost distracts me from hearing her response.

“You have to move on?” I repeat, not touching my clothes yet because I know my nudity distracts her in the same way. Instead, I prop my head up on my bent elbow, hoping she’ll be horny enough to forget what we were talking about, because what the actual fuck made her want to stop?

“Would you please quit repeating everything I say and put some clothes on?” Maya crosses her arms over her chest, a signal that she means business tonight.

Sighing, I crawl up to the head of the bed, resting my head back on the pillow with both my hands behind it, since I’m not planning on going anywhere just yet.

“Does this moving on have anything to do with that jackass Spencer Williams giving you his phone number?” I ask.

Her folded arms drop. “How did you…”

“Well, baby, it doesn’t take a genius. I saw the two of you talking and him handing you back your phone. Even I’m smart enough to figure out what happened.”

I hate the idea of Maya dating any other man, but especially another fucking hockey player. Why is that? Because it means that all her excuses about me not being around because of the busy schedule and not trusting me on the road are personal. She would endure the hectic months of games and practice, even trust a man she barely knows, but not do those things for me?

While I loathe the thought of another man touching her, I tell myself that Maya’s too uptight and inexperienced to hop into bed on a first or even fifth date.

That may be my fault, and I hate that I hurt her so badly years ago, but in this circumstance, I’m thrilled she isn’t quick to sleep around with guys.

Although, I’m the last person in the world to be encouraging abstinence thanks to my past. Still, I’m glad Maya has only ever been with me. If only she would give me another chance to take her virginity. Because in my mind she’s still a virgin, despite the fact our child came through that whole area without my actual penetration.

Shoving her fingers through the front of her hair to push it back, she eventually says, “Finley asked Spencer for one of his jerseys, and he was nice enough to oblige.”

Scoffing, I tell her, “Oh, I’m sure that fucker would love to oblige the shit out of you.”

“He also said you told him we weren’t together.”

“We’re not, right? You don’t even want Preston to know about us.”

“Christian…”

“Maya, I don’t get it,” I say as I sit up in the bed. “I’ve spent weeks proving to you that I only want you, that you can trust me to be a good role model and father to Finley and to not hurt you. And now the first time some guy comes up to you, not even a fucking starter for the Warhawks I should add, you’re ready to bail on me for him ?”

“I’m not…I’m not bailing on you for anyone else, Christian.” There go the crossed arms again. God, it’s like talking to a brick wall whenever that shit happens. “This decision has nothing to do with Spencer asking me on a date, either. You’re leaving for Greensboro soon. We both know that long distance won’t work between us.”

Right, because she’ll never trust me not to screw around behind her back, even though I’ve never cheated on her when we were dating, past or present, and I would never do such a thing to her. I’ve never cheated on any woman. Yes, Elle and I had a miscommunication where she assumed we were both more serious than we were when I thought that we were just occasionally hooking up, having fun, with no strings or commitment. The only real relationship I’ve ever had is with Maya, then and now. Because this is a relationship, whether she wants to admit it or not. And I know there’s only one way Maya will ever trust me—if I’m sleeping in the same bed with her every night. That’s why I tell her, “It wouldn’t be long distance if you and Finley moved to Greensboro and come live with me.”

“I-we can’t do that!” she exclaims, most likely loud enough for the rest of the house to hear.

“No, you won’t do that,” I amend for her. “And I have no fucking clue why you won’t consider moving. Preston’s there too. You could live with him. And you would be closer to Elle, who I know you adore. So, tell me what the real problem is here, Maya.”

There’s a moment of hesitation before she blurts out, “I…I don’t think this, you and I, could ever work.”

She could’ve sliced my chest open with the blade of my skate and it would’ve hurt less than hearing those words from her mouth.

“This? You and me, you don’t think we could ever work?” I ask, needing clarification.

“It didn’t work before, and back then you weren’t even a hotshot hockey player yet.”

“I told you I was sorry about bailing that night!”

“Keep your voice down,” she warns me as if she wasn’t just yelling too.

Groaning, I scrub both of my palms down my face. “I don’t know what else I can do, Maya. I apologized back then by text, in voicemails, hell, even in letters.”

“There were no letters,” she snaps.

“Yes, there were. A bunch of them. I sent them to your dorm.”

“Well, I was so upset that I dropped out of school and moved out of the dorm when I found out I was pregnant,” she huffs. “But now we’re off topic. You and I, it’ll be better for Finley if we stop this now while we don’t hate each other.”

“I could never hate you,” I tell her. “Even after you kept my son from me for nearly five fucking years, I didn’t hate you. And I don’t think you ever hated me, either.”

When she doesn’t respond, I’m certain that there’s no way to win this fight with her tonight. Reluctantly, I slide off the bed and start slowly putting my clothes back on piece by piece. I’m hoping like hell that Maya will change her mind, that this will turn out like her telling me I couldn’t stay over while Preston and Elle are here. But she doesn’t stop me.

She’ll miss me once I leave and possibly even change her mind after a few nights apart.

At least that’s what I tell myself before kissing her cheek goodbye and leaving.