Page 13

13

Maya

“ I just talked to Preston,” Christian says without preamble when he shows up at the house the next morning.

“Okay?”

There’s a new tension between us after our fight last night. Our argument? I’m not sure what it was exactly. Christian wants to tell Finley he’s his father, and he said he wanted more, that he wants to be with me.

But I’m not ready to take either of those steps, especially the first, which makes the second impossible.

Oh my god. Did Christian call Preston about us because I haven’t mentioned to Preston that we were fooling around!

“Everything’s all set for Finley’s birthday party,” he finally explains.

“Oh, okay,” I sigh in relief, glad he’s not dragging my overprotective brother into this already confusing situation. “Preston was able to rent the Warhawks arena?”

“He was, but even with his pull, they still asked for a small fee.”

“A small fee?” I have a feeling that the pro hockey boys and I have different definitions of small when it comes to money. “How much?”

“Five grand.”

“Five thousand dollars?” I exclaim.

“I’ll take care of it,” Christian says since, just as I expected, five thousand dollars is like fifty bucks to him.

“Are you sure? Finley doesn’t even know we were going to have it there. We could just have it in the backyard…”

“We’re having his party at the arena,” he replies sternly. “This is the first year I’m going to get to celebrate my son’s birthday with him. Finley will go nuts to get out on the ice with his friends, and I want to help. If you need like plates or decorations or whatever, I want to pay for those things too.”

“You don’t have to do that, Christian…”

“It’s the least I can do after missing his first four birthdays,” he snaps.

“That-that wasn’t entirely my fault.”

He stares at me like he wants to argue that it was up to me to tell him he had a son and not him to guess.

“I’m sorry,” I tell him honestly.

Taking a deep breath, he says, “It’s…fine, water under the ice,” and even flashes me a half-smile. “So, what do you say? Will you let me pay for this one?”

“I don’t need your money.”

“I think you meant that you don’t want my money. But you do need it, Maya. What’s the difference in accepting Preston’s help but not mine?”

“I…I don’t know. Let me just have time to think about it.”

“The clock is ticking. Let me make the arrangements to secure the arena for us. Let’s go with what we both know is Finley’s first choice. We’ll give him a birthday party he’ll never forget, including a few surprise guests…”

Oh, I love and hate the way he’s using we like we’re a team now. Still, I’m hesitant to let him help with the planning or financially.

“What? What’s that frown about? I just want to help.”

“I know that, I do. It’s just…letting you help makes me feel like I’ll owe you or something.”

“You don’t owe me. I want to do this for Finley. Please?”

“Fine,” I cave, since it’s impossible to refuse the man anything when he gives me puppy dog eyes.

That’s probably how I got pregnant. Christian was so charismatic and was being so patient, waiting for me to be ready to sleep with him. When he told me, begged me actually, that he wanted to book us the hotel room just so he could hold me all night, I agreed, knowing exactly what would happen. I wanted the same thing, and the dorm and Preston’s apartment weren’t ideal for sleepovers. I’d hoped it would happen, even though I was so nervous, I nearly puked that afternoon before he picked me up.

“Thank you,” Christian says as he leans in to press a kiss to my lips.

“Whoa!” I press my palms to his chest to push him away. “You can’t do that…”

“You mean in broad daylight?”

“I mean where Finley could see us and get confused.”

“Right. Sorry. I’m just…happy,” he says with a grin. “I’ll go make some calls.”

“Thank you,” I tell him. When he turns to leave, I finally concede, “Finley will love a hockey party.”

Glancing over his shoulder, his smile widens with pride. “I know he will.”

He does know. He’s beginning to get to know his son’s likes and dislikes. I’m not sure why that scares me so much. Maybe because Christian’s proving that he’s going to stick around, to step up and be a father to Finley, which means I’ll have to figure out how to stop pining for him before my heart gets crushed again and we ruin everything.

The next week flies by as Christian and I stay busy preparing for Finley’s party. He even came shopping with me for supplies while Finley had a play date with his neighborhood friend.

While Christian still stays over for an hour or so each night after we put Finley to bed, there’s a noticeable difference to our fooling around. At first Christian went slow, eased into things, was gentle. After our fight, though, we don’t talk, there’s no joking around. There’s just plenty of savage kisses, multiple orgasms, and then he leaves me satisfied but still longing for more.

More of him physically and emotionally.

Which I hate.

I know he’s only doing exactly what I asked him to do, so I can’t complain.

All I know is that I’ve started looking forward to seeing him every day, spending time alone together at night, even though I know it’s not real. In a few weeks, Christian will be headed back to North Carolina, back to the fame and puck bunnies. Finley and I will barely talk to him and rarely see him except on television.

There’s nothing I can do to change what’s coming. Even if I up and moved Finley to Greensboro, during the hockey season, I know what to expect from how often Preston is at practice or traveling with the team.

Still, it’s so frustrating.

That’s why I’m glad that Preston and Elle are coming to spend a few days with us for Finley’s birthday. They’ll create a nice buffer zone between me and Christian.

I’m so excited to see two of my favorite people in the world that I hurry out to their car as soon as they pull up in the driveway to hug them.

“You made it!” I say when I throw my arms around Preston’s neck first. “Thank you so much for getting the Warhawks to let us have the party in the arena.”

“Wish I had thought of it, but Christian deserves all the props for pulling this off,” my brother replies as we pull apart.

“Yes, but you were the one who had to make calls and ask for favors.”

“Anything for Finley,” he says with a grin.

Turning from him to embrace Elle, I take her hands when we break apart to examine them with a scoff. “No ring yet?”

Elle laughs and slips her hands from mine. “Don’t rush us! It hasn’t really been that long since we started dating. You know, like for real dating.”

“Time doesn’t matter. You two are definitely getting hitched. I can’t wait to help you plan the wedding!” Wincing, I add, “That is, if you want or need my help.”

“Of course I want your help! If that day ever comes,” she adds quietly.

“It will,” I assure her.

“So, where’s the birthday boy?” Preston asks. “I can’t believe he’s already turning five and about to start school.”

“Same,” I agree. “And he’s around back playing with Christian.”

“So, this is Christian’s SUV?” Elle asks, eyeing the black luxury vehicle suspiciously.

“Uh-huh. Why?”

“I guess I can’t believe he bought something other than a sports car for once,” she remarks.

It finally dawns on me that Christian must have bought the vehicle since he’s been in town, as he arrived in a flashy little car. He probably knew that I would never let him take our son anywhere in a freaking speedster. For one, some of them don’t have a back seat, and two, they’re too dangerous to be driving around with a four-year-old passenger. Five-year-old tomorrow.

I guess it was sweet of Christian to make the concession and sell the car he drove up here in to buy an SUV.

Not that Christian doesn’t have plenty of money to spend, but he didn’t have to go to all that trouble.

He did it because he cares about Finley and wants to be a bigger part of his life.

I know he wants to tell our son the truth, to finally hear Finley call him Daddy. But I’m so scared about what comes next.

Will Finley hate me for keeping him from his father his entire life? There’s no way he can understand at his age why I did what I did.

Sometimes I’m not sure why I didn’t reach out to Christian sooner.

It’s just that he hurt me so much and then went to play for the pros. Before he left, I did tell him I was pregnant, and his first reaction sounded like he expected me to end it, even going so far as to send me money through a cash app.

I thought his reaction meant he didn’t want to be a father, not when he was hoping to start his pro career.

Then, seeing him date so many women, I couldn’t let my son be a part of that life. I want Finley to grow up respecting women, not use them for sex.

But I also, selfishly, wasn’t sure if I could handle Christian loving our son but not me.