Page 9 of Playing for Keeps (Seattle Hawks Ice Hockey #4)

Jade

Present day, Jay’s apartment

I smile up at Jay as I pass him a second mug of coffee and I clear our breakfast dishes away.

Ever since that night a couple of months back, I wonder if he’s ever going to mention anything about the kiss at the club.

I mean, we skimmed over it before I left town a few days later, but I think we both just brushed it off and tried to pretend it never happened.

I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it, especially now I’m back in town for work and staying with Beth. Seeing him again just brings it all back.

I wish he’d say something, anything at all, because there’s a frustrated part of me that knows I liked it more than I should have. And I don’t know what to do with that.

But maybe it’s me that has to break the ice and find out his thoughts.

That night was wild. Beth and Jake danced long and hard after Jay and I sat at the bar and tried to make things a little less awkward between us. Beth follows hockey, though she’s never met Jay, she certainly had a better angle on them than I did that night. I secretly think she knew who he was.

Jay and I definitely didn’t head back out to the dance floor.

In fact, he acted like butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth for the remainder of the night.

He seemed to quickly forget the way he pressed into me from behind, swaying to Red Red Wine .

He was definitely hard. I made him hard.

I’m still a little shocked I was able to do that to my brother’s best friend.

There was no mistaking when he dragged me off the dance floor to that quiet hallway, his hands and mouth roaming all over me.

I was so close to losing it right then and there with our bodies pressed together against the wall.

I’ve been trying to forget about it ever since, but for some reason, Jay’s been on my mind non-stop.

Jay even invited me to the friendly catch up he was having at the pizza joint with some of his teammates a few days after the incident. It was a nice distraction because my breakup from Aaron was fresh in my mind a few months ago, but I’m slowly putting it behind me.

I hum a tune to myself while I run the hot water in the sink for the dishes and my mind wanders. There’s a perfectly good dishwasher in Jay’s apartment, but I’d rather just hand wash them since there’s only two plates, our cutlery and the frying pans.

We got talking last week over text when I told him I was back in town and Jay was so sweet to ask if we could hang out.

He also asked if he could take me ice skating, and even agreed to a dance lesson or two for Tanner’s wedding.

It’s like he’s really trying to make things up to me because of what happened between us at the bar that night.

There’s nothing to make up for. I liked it. I more than liked it.

Apart from the past few months, it’s been years since I’ve seen Jay. He hasn’t really changed all that much, except of course he grew up. He also grew taller, wider, and even cuter than he was back in high school. Ten years have served him well.

I feel bad we didn’t connect for so long, but things definitely changed in his life when he was recruited to the Hawks and life got busy.

Even at the times I thought about reconnecting this past year, Aaron wasn’t too keen on me having guys as friends and stupidly, I put our friendship on the back burner.

I’ve missed Jay. We were close in that last year of high school. Ever since my dad brought him home in the storm that day and told me, Tanner, and my mom he was going to stay with us, our friendship kinda bloomed from there. We were already pretty close, but that kinda cemented things.

I still remember how they were soaked to the bone that night when they walked in. There was something in Jay, maybe the fact he looked so downtrodden, or maybe just that he was freezing, that made my heart heavy. I knew something else was going on, something my parents weren’t saying.

And it’s been heavy ever since. I remember that night so vividly because, for the first time since I’d known him, there wasn’t a cheeky smile etched to his face.

Not a hint of cockiness, a wise crack or sarcasm.

Nor was he laughing at something. He was quiet.

Subdued. And I’d never seen Jay like that before. He was always the life of the party.

And although I wanted to know what happened while Dad was out with Robbie, I equal parts didn’t want to know as well. I guess because I knew it was bad.

I knew Jay didn’t have the greatest home life, but he seemed to make the best of it somehow. I think he’d learned at an early age to shut things out and deal with it. That’s how it came across, anyway.

But seeing him that night made me wonder how much of it was an act. How much of his usually happy disposition was real? Was Jay hiding behind an invisible veil?

My eyes slide over to him now. Azure eyes staring back at me quizzically, his eyebrows raised, a slight tilt of his head.

My lips purse. “Did you just say something and I totally blanked out?”

“You’re always blanking out, J. I hate to break it to you. And yes, you were firing something back at me about kissing strangers, and if I do it often.”

“Ah, that.”

“Yes, that. And I asked you first.”

“Well, the answer is no. It was totally impromptu of me that night at the bar. I don’t even need to know your answer to that.”

He laughs. “Probably better that way.”

My eyes roll in exasperation as I finish up the dishes. “Moving on, do you feel sustained enough to take me skating?”

His eyebrows lift and he pauses at my statement, his hand raking over his well chiseled chin, his lips parting. He’s well chiseled everywhere, if I’m being honest. That’s never been an issue. He may as well be a wall of thunder at six feet, compared to my tiny five feet frame.

A look crosses over his face and his eyes linger a little longer on mine. It’s all in the eyes with him. The intensity draws the heat to my face quicker than I can blink. Why the hell am I blushing? And why is he looking at me like that?

His face has equal parts sexy and cocky written all over it. Jay has always had the ability to unglue you within seconds. I’m well aware it’s only now that I’m really letting myself notice.

I can’t fool myself into thinking he’s been a good boy, he’s never made any bones about his wild and often reckless ways. Maybe memories of us getting up close and personal at the bar still has me a little on edge and easily flustered.

Usually I take all of his remarks with a pinch of salt, but I can’t seem to get the kiss out of my head.

I notice he’s been dodging around me since then, too. We went our separate ways that night, of course, after I finally managed to prize Beth away from the Hawks rookie, Jake Hudson.

She wasn’t elated about me doing that, or about calling it a night. But she’d had one too many cosmos already, and she had to work the next day…

“I can’t believe you pulled me away from Jake Hudson!” she moans in the cab all the way back to her place.

“I was saving you from yourself! You know damn well what those hockey guys are like.”

“Says you who was dirty dancing with your bestie, Jay Jefferson, and you didn’t even know!”

I throw her a look. “It was dark, and I haven’t seen JJ in years, and he’s not my bestie.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“We’re you really wanting to bring Jake back to your place?”

She sighs, resting back into the cab seat and waves it off with a flail of her hand. “I guess we’ll never know, will we? Though, in hindsight, I probably wouldn’t have known what to do with him. It would have been way too intimidating, even after those cocktails.”

I can’t help but giggle at her words. “I’m sure you would have figured it out. I’m sorry if I dragged you out of there.”

Beth shrugs. “It’s okay. Now I know Jake hangs out with Jay, and Jay’s practically your highschool bestie, or your brother’s anyway, so who knows what the future could hold.”

We laugh all the way back to her house because I wouldn’t put it past her to meet up with Jake again. And as for me and JJ slow dancing, groping and kissing against the wall… I have to pretend like it never happened.

“I guess I’m sustained enough,” Jay’s voice breaks me from my reverie again, I seem to be going off in a daydream a lot around him.

When my eyes dance down to his lips, they quirk into that mischievous smile I remember so well.

He gives me a wink as he answers my question, something about being sustained enough for ice skating.

Though I notice there’s an underlying connotation in his tone, which I do my best to ignore.

Okay, bad idea even thinking about flirting with my brother’s best friend… Very, very bad.

You’d think after months of trying to forget about our sexy night, I’d have it down pat by now. But making peace with it still evades me. It’s like I’m physically trying, but my brain just doesn’t want to let it go.

“That’s good to know,” I manage, my mind proving its point by flashing the image of his half-naked body across my eyes from this morning. I guess it’s my fault for knocking on his bedroom door. What did I expect?

And also, did I really refer to his manhood as JJ Junior? Facepalm.

I feel Jay’s eyes on me again, with an amused look dancing around on his face.

I realize now that I may have just sighed out loud.

“Penny for your thoughts, Sweetheart ?”

I shrug any thoughts off as I pull the plug out of the sink and grab the dish towel so I can dry my hands. “Just thinking about my day today, I have a bit to do before I leave next week. And don’t forget our dance lesson later.”

“How could I forget?” he muses. It was my idea for us to have a quick lesson or two for my brother’s wedding coming up in December, mainly so I don’t fall flat on my face and be a laughingstock on the dance floor.

I may have mastered the slow, sultry sway recently with Jay, but that hardly means I’m an expert at couples dancing.