Page 14 of Playing for Keeps (Seattle Hawks Ice Hockey #4)

I hold up a hand to stop her. “Look, she and I hooked up months ago,” I sigh. “I haven’t seen her since. And I want to enjoy this day with you. That’s all I’m interested in.”

Her eyes look anywhere but at me, she seems to falter somehow, but I don’t know why. Why does she care about Janey?

“I have to get going soon anyway to The Arboretum.”

“Ah, your shoot,” I say. “Do you have a ride home later?”

She nods with a smile that still doesn’t reach her pretty sparklers. “Yeah, Beth is coming to meet me at some point.”

I don’t mean to blurt out the next thing that flies into my head, but it’s out before I can stop it. “Are we gonna talk about that night?” I guess I’ve been edging around it for months and now seems as good a time as any.

I know from the way her breath hitches for a milli-second, and her eyes flicking down, that she knows exactly what I’m talking about. “I thought we did.”

“We made small talk at the bar afterward, I’d hardly say that was conclusive.”

I fail to mention drinks with the team last night also resulted in us side stepping around the incident. Even during the movie afterward at my place…

Now I’m remembering last night, which mainly resulted in me taking a long swig of liquor from the cabinet right after Jade left, I wasn’t myself.

I had another missed call from my mom floating around in my head, and a girl I shouldn’t have kissed making her way into the forefront of everything I hold dear.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I think I went into a panic after that, and some kind of exhausted blackout took over.

Thankfully, I’m not prone to any kind of serious blackouts, but the few times I have are always when thinking about the past, when faced with my mother.

I tend to block things out and hibernate, hoping they’ll go away on their own.

Her eyes finally land, then settle on mine. I try to gauge the look on her face, but she doesn’t give much away. My brow furrows. “We’re just gonna brush off what happened?”

She holds onto the barrier and leans back, casting her gaze up to the high ceiling like she’s going to find the answer to a great mystery up there. “I think that’s best, don’t you? We made a mistake, Jay. It could have happened to anyone.”

I don’t know why I feel disappointed by her words, but my chest feels a little heavier than it did before. Like someone has their hands around my heart, squeezing them together.

I instinctively press my palm into my chest and try to swallow down the wash of unease I’m suddenly feeling. It’s not something I’m used to, nor do I like. “But it happened to us, not just anyone,” I point out.

“We probably just need to forget it happened,” she says, her lips pressing together as she takes a deep intake of breath.

Forget it happened? Ouch. Okay, no need to go on.

I pull myself together quickly and once again practise what I do best and deflect.

Righting myself, I push off on my skates, still facing her, but traveling backwards.

“You’re saying it’s not the best kiss you’ve had in your life?

” I tilt my head and go with cocky instead.

Why not? It’s saved me time and time again in the past. That should snap me out of whatever it is I think I’m feeling toward her.

She laughs, a little exasperation noted in her usually chirpy tone. “Are you talking yourself up again, JJ?”

I smile. Liking the way my nickname sounds on her lips. “Someone has to. And you didn’t answer the question.”

“The question about you being the best kiss I’ve ever had?”

I nod.

“What if I asked you the same thing? Is it the best kiss you’ve ever had?”

Our eyes lock as she turns the question around on me, and I feel a tug at my heart. My hand squeezes onto the railing for support and I’ve never once had to do this during a game.

“You know, answering that could get me into deeper hot water. And you didn’t answer the question yourself,” I point out.

“That kiss being the best or not has nothing to do with it. I’m still kinda in shock about even seeing you. That night was so freaking surreal.”

I smirk. “Oh, it was, in more ways than one.”

“Can you be serious for one second?”

“I am being serious. Those were some crazy moves that night, on and off the dance floor.”

She literally facepalms herself, my eyes glued to her face, smiling. “I feel like such a dumbass for not recognizing you straight away. I mean, it was dark.”

“I feel the same,” I say, contemplatively, sobering for a second. “But we’re cool, right?”

She nods slowly. “Of course we are, I’d hardly be back here again in a matter of months, would I?”

I want to ask her about that, too. There’s something going on with her, and I think Tanner knows it, too.

She passed on the message he called when I was in the shower, but I texted him back instead to say I’d call him later.

I am hoping Jade and I can grab a bite after the dance lesson and can talk some more.

“Just checking.”

She reaches out to swat me on the arm, but I dodge and do a circle on my skates.

“Show off,” she mutters, but she’s smiling again, so I figure that must be good.

“Best lap out of three?” I cajole, taking a long slide away from her, trying to get the upper hand this time.

“Hey, wait!” she calls after me. I turn around to face her, skating backward again, as cocky as ever on my feet.

But this is where I feel alive, and this is where I know what to do.

It comes so naturally, I don’t even need to think about it.

I spin back around and glide forwards, laughing in my wake.

And just like that, I think we’re okay again.