Page 51 of Playing for Keeps (Seattle Hawks Ice Hockey #4)

Jay

When Deb and her father have their dance, the rest of the guests are invited onto the dance floor, Jade and I make our breakaway. Billy has returned to the table for Ellen, and the rest of the bridal party are all dancing in a circle of their own.

“You two looked great out there,” Billy beams, giving me a pat on the shoulder and his daughter a proud smile.

There’s that slightly awkward feeling again, something I’ve been all too familiar with lately. But at least it’s out in the open that Jade and I are a thing, and we don’t have to hide it.

“Can you believe we only had two dance lessons?”

When she says it like that, it’s hard to believe it myself.

“That’s amazing, you’re both naturals,” Ellen says.

“We’ve been practising the dance moves over Skype mainly,” I add.

“That would have been hard on you both, without being able to practise in person.” Ellen is all smiles. “I loved how your teammates got in on the act at the game last night.”

We all laugh at the memory and a warm, tingling feeling resonates over my entire body as I stand there with Jade and her parents. This is what it feels like to have a family and people who care about you. The girl I love by my side.

It feels better than winning any jackpot.

“Any chance I got, I was practising,” I confess. “I’m just glad I didn’t mess any of it up.”

Jade smiles up at me. “I told you you’d be a natural. Mom’s right.”

“Any chance I can steal my daughter away for a dance?” Billy wraps an arm around Jade and hugs her to his side.

“Only if I can steal your wife away?” I muse.

Billy eyes me, a smile dusting over his lips as he glances at his wife. “One dance, Son.”

I still for a moment, a smile creasing my lips.There’s that word again. He’s said it many times over the years, and every time it makes my heart warm just that little bit further. Fuck, I love this family.

I want to be a part of it forever. There’s no way I’m ever going to fuck this up.

I surrender my hands up. “What do you think, Ellen?”

Jade’s mom reaches for my hand, and I pull her out of the chair to her feet. “I’d say you’re on.”

My phone buzzes late in the evening, when everything is winding down, and the loved up couple are about to leave.

The chocolate wedding cake was fucking phenomenal and Luca hasn’t stopped running around all night, the little guy is gonna pass out any second when his grandparents take him back to the room.

I glance at it quickly before we say our goodnights to Tanner and Deb.

I’m surprised to see it’s a message from my mom. Fucking perfect timing.

Mom

Jay. I really wish you’d talk to me. I know you don’t expect anything from me. But it’s different this time. Talk to Uncle Leo. Please

I hold the phone in my hands and feel the shake to them. This woman only has to send a single text to get my motor fired up and running. How the fuck she manages it, I’ll never know.

I don’t want to put a damper on today, it’s been perfect.

But old habits die hard with the past being brought to the surface, and I feel that thrum in my chest and my pulse races.

Maybe she’s the reason I’ve been having these heart palpitations episodes lately.

It’s very probable since I’m having another one right now.

Fucking perfect. Just when everything is going right, there she is on the forefront.

And I should be good at putting all of that behind me by now, I’ve been doing it for years. But with her, nothing is ever simple.

Jade’s arms slide around me and hug me from behind. I turn my head to look back at her. “Hey, Baby.”

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah. But I just got a message from my mom.”

“Oh, no. What did she want? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. It happens from time to time, she’s been wanting to make amends or some shit. But I don’t wanna dwell on that, not today.”

”Do you want to talk about it?”

I shake my head. “Not right now.”

She takes a pause and links her hands in mine, giving them a squeeze.

“Will you come back to San Diego with me for the last few days before you head back to Seattle?”

With all the commotion of the wedding, we hadn’t exactly made plans for what we were going to do, I figured it would be staying on a few days in Vegas. But I’m happy to head to San Diego, or wherever she wants.

“Of course,” I say. “I don’t have to be back until Tuesday afternoon.”

“Perfect.”

I turn to face her and bob my head to place a peck on her lips. I’ve been dying to do that all day, but I didn’t wanna start getting all touchy feely with her in front of her parents and brother after they just found out about us.

“And how about I take you back to my place after this and we relax in the hot tub?”

She squeezes my forearms, her eyes shining with excitement and warmth. I’m trying to place if I heard her say she loved me when I woke up in her bed, or if I dreamed it. But I’m too chicken shit to ask. “Now that sounds like a perfect finish to the most perfect day.”

“Let’s give your brother our best and high-tail it.”

“They’ll still be here for breakfast tomorrow,” Jade reminds me.

“I know, but it seems fitting, kinda saying it now.”

“Are you sure you’re okay about your mom?” she asks.

“I’m fine. We’ll talk about it, just not right now.”

It’s an emotional few words when we catch up with Tanner and Deb, about as emotional as the speeches, because yes, I had to pull something out of my hat as best man.

But nothing too embarrassing, just the truth of how much the Jones family means to me, and what a great friend Tanner was in my last year of high school.

I threw in a few jibes here and there, mostly at his expense.

“Look after my sister while I’m away,” Tanner tells me, prodding me in the chest.

“You know it.” I give him a hug and he pats me on the back.

“Thank you for being part of our day,” Deb says behind him. “We couldn’t have done it without you two.”

“Hey, I just showed up,” I joke. “But thanks for letting me be a part of it. I love you guys.”

“Love you, too, man.” Another pat on the back as Jade and Deb hug, then Deb reaches over to me and I pull her into my arms.

“Bring him back in one piece from your honeymoon,” I quip.

They may only be going away for three days, but it will be a nice break for them to be on their own. They’re taking Luca with them to Cancun for a family vacation when they return.

“I’ll do my best.”

The rest of the night goes without a hitch.

Jade and I say goodnight to Billy, Ellen, Luca and the rest of the guests.

As promised, we jump in the hot tub and have a last glass of champagne to celebrate the day, enjoying each other’s company and recapping all the amazing parts of the day.

We definitely danced the night away after Billy returned Jade to me after their daughter-dad dance. One day I hope it’s our wedding.

It’s all I could see when I saw Jade in that beautiful dress. And we may have only been on one dinner date after that dance class, and a few outings here and there, but I know enough inside to realize how I feel about her.

We go to bed right out of the hot tub and I make love to her before we fall asleep from exhaustion, and I swear to god I slept all night with a fucking huge smile on my face. The text from my mom temporarily forgotten, for now, at least, anyway.

Jade

San Diego

I can’t believe the wedding weekend is all over, even the wedding breakfast flew by and we’re on a plane to San Diego, just like that.

I know Jay has been restless ever since he saw that text from my mom.

The whole thing makes him understandably nervous.

He’s talked about calling his uncle Leo, but I told him he should only do that when he’s ready.

He said he’d rather get it out of the way sooner rather than later, and see what Leo has to say.

Personally, I don’t think he should push it, only Jay knows the depths of destruction his own mother placed upon him.

I want to be as supportive as possible, but be a soft place for him to land if he needs it.

If he doesn’t want to talk to her after years of being put through hell from her actions, that’s up to him.

We’re both exhausted from the few days in Vegas. As soon as we all arrived at my parents’ last night, we crashed. This morning Dad is making his famous pancakes for brunch, so I’m doing a quick round of yoga while Jay makes his phone call to Uncle Leo.

I’ve rolled out my yoga mat in the guest room where Jay is staying while he’s here before flying back to Seattle. I told him I’d make myself scarce in the next room while he phones Leo.

A few deep breaths always start my practice just right.

After a few kneeling cat to cow poses and a child’s pose, I roll forwards, tucking my toes to a downward facing dog.

Walking out my dog, I twist my chest slightly side to side, the stretch feeling so good.

Then I bend my knees and slowly walk my feet into my hands.

I hang in a forward fold for a few breaths, then raise my arms up, lifting my chest, my hands meeting overhead in an extended mountain pose.

I circle my arms around to my back, clasping my hands for a chest stretch, pushing my hips slightly forward and my knuckles toward the ground.

Releasing them, I circle my arms once more to extended mountain, then with a slight bend of my knees, I come into a forward fold again.

Lunging my right leg behind me, I lift my chest, using my fingertips to press into the mat.

Then, push to a downward facing dog. An in breath takes me forward into a plank, then I bend my elbows, guiding my chest and chin toward the ground, after a second or so hover, I roll my shoulders into baby cobra.

That’s when I hear Jay’s voice from the next room. He must have his cell on speaker.

“Jay, is that you?” Says a man’s voice.

“Sure is,” Jay says, and even if I can’t see him, he sounds kinda awkward and hesitant. He has a good relationship with his uncle, but I can understand how hard this must be.

I push back to a downward facing dog, trying hard not to listen, but it’s a little hard, since he’s in the adjoining bedroom of the guest suite.

“It’s nice to hear from you, how are you?”

“I’m good, I’ve just been at a friend’s wedding in Vegas, and I hope you don’t mind if I cut to the chase, but Mom has been pretty adamant lately about getting in touch. She said to talk to you.”

My heart hammers in my chest as I lunge my right leg forward and step into a forward fold.

I hear his uncle Leo sigh. “She never makes it easy on herself, does she?”

“Nope.”

“What I can say is she’s living about an hour away from Fargo. I’ve caught up with her a couple of times this past year.”

I push up to mountain pose, taking a big breath to extended mountain, then an exhale has me back to a forward fold, where I do the whole sun salutation again on the left side as Jay talks.

“And do you believe any of it with her turning over this new leaf and getting sober?”

“She’s been sober for a year,” he says. “I know that much.”

“Really?”

“I could hardly believe it myself. But it’s true. She’s going to church and seems to really be turning her life around.”

“Church?”

“Yeah, it seems so.”

“She keeps contacting me, asking to reconnect. Over the weekend she said to talk to you. I wasn’t sure if it was just another one of her lies to get back in my life.”

“I guess there’s only one way to find out.”

“I’m not ready for that,” Jay says firmly. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be.”

“That’s up to you,” Leo says. “From what we’ve talked about, she’s kept tabs on you over the years. I know it’s hard to believe, and only time will tell, but sometimes people can change.”

“You really believe that?” Jay balks, God bless him.

“I’m her brother, I guess I have to,” he says simply.

I hear Jay blow out a breath as they exchange a few more words, Jay asks him how the golf practice is going, while I do another two rounds of sun salutations, and some idle chat about the weather before they hang up.

I’m on the mat in my child’s pose, taking a few deep breaths before I press myself up.

There’s no way I can keep doing my yoga routine like everything is fine.

Maybe I wasn’t meant to hear, but he knows I’m in the next room and he was on speaker.

I can’t just leave him in there to figure this out on his own.

I pad to the bedroom, knocking quietly on the half-open door.

“Come in,” Jay says, looking up from the bed when I enter.

“Hey.” I try a small smile. “How did it go?”

“You didn’t just hear all that?”

“Well, I did. But I was being polite while I was practising.”

He looks a little ragged, if I’m being honest. His skin has paled, and I’m pretty sure he’s been ruffling his hair up with his hands. Anxiety shows in his features as his eyebrows knit together.

“I need to get some air and some space,” he says after a moment.

“Jay…”

“Please, Jade. This is hard for me. Those last couple of years before I met your family were hell on earth. I get it can’t have been easy for her when my dad left, but she made her choice, and that choice wasn’t to put my best interests first. I was a child.”

“I know. I’m here for you, that’s all I wanted to say.”

With a shaky breath, he rises off the bed and leans over to kiss me on the forehead.

“I can’t do this right now,” he says. And I know right then it’s fear that’s stopping him with his mother.

Rightly so. It’s like I can almost see it creeping its way upward and hitting him right in the heart, a place I know he doesn’t want to go with her.

“Whatever you need, JJ. I’m here.”