Page 131 of Phobia

I hated him for interrupting.

But as I looked back at Lazarus, I realized that I wasn’t the only one hating him for butting in where he shouldn’t have.

“Give me a second,” Lazarus gritted out, his eyes narrowed at the pain in my ass as of recent. I’d be lying if I said that it didn’t make me happy seeing it. Maybe it was futile to wish for someone like him to like someone like me, but I decided that tonight would be the night when I wouldn’t be just the good old Danika.

I wanted to let go, be free, far away from the chains I put on myself. Far away from the darkness I succumbed to a couple of months ago.

“Laza—”

“I said give me a fucking second, Gabriel!” His voice thundered around us, every word like a poisonous vine wrapping around my body even though it wasn’t directed at me. As he turned toward me, bringing his full attention back from Gabriel, a smile that wasn’t there before spread over his face, his teeth biting down on his plump, lower lip, and thoughts I shouldn’t have had snuck inside my head.

I wondered what he tasted like.

What he felt like.

Would he destroy me or would I destroy him?

“I’m sorry to cut this short, darling,” he murmured, taking my hand in his much larger one. “But I’ll see you later, okay?”

“I… Yeah, okay,” I stammered, looking up at him and relishing in the feeling of my hand in his.

“Meet me at the clock tower at midnight,” he instructed before he stepped away and started heading toward Gabriel.

I didn’t miss the frown on Gabriel’s face, nor the strain in Lazarus’s shoulders as he stopped in front of Gabriel, his lips moving fast. I also didn’t miss the hard set of eyes I didn’t notice before, standing right next to one of the pillars, his lips spread in a sinister grin.

Judah Blackwood seemed pleased to see me, and I had no idea if that should terrify me or make me happy.

Chapter 5

The party was in full swing as I stood in the corner of what looked like a smaller ballroom, sipping on the strawberry juice I managed to find in the kitchen. Bodies moved, swayed, lips pressing to one another, and I never felt more alone in my entire life.

My eyes were plastered to a guy that was running around the ballroom, chased by a goose, and I wondered if I was the only one seeing this shit show where this grown-ass man screamed and cried for help, because none of the other patrons seemed to pay attention to him. It wasn’t until he finally ran away from the ballroom with a goose hot at his tail, that I moved my eyes over the rest of the ballroom, imagining what it would feel like to belong.

It’s been almost two hours since I spoke with Lazarus, since I saw Gabriel and Judah, but after that first interaction, they were nowhere to be found. For the hundredth time tonight, I had no idea what I was doing here.

These weren’t my people. This wasn’t a place for me, but like a curious fool I had to come and see what it was all about.

Lazarus had these parties every single year since he finished high school. Everyone and their mother wanted to be invited, but only a select few ever were. Tonight, I was part of those select few. But the more I looked at these people—some my age, some older and some even younger—I realized that I would never belong in their carefree world.

I would never be able to just dance and forget that everything else existed like they did. I didn’t miss the drugs floating around as if they were water, or the couple having sex in the hallway I passed earlier. I wished I could let go like they did. It didn’t help that I stood out like a sore thumb without any mask, because I had no idea that everyone else was going to come dressed up in their own masks.

My eyes flickered up to the big, round clock standing just above the main entrance into the ballroom. I still had more than half an hour before midnight and I had no idea if I would be able to wait that long. Maybe I should go to the clock tower before Lazarus and simply wait there?

I had no idea what he wanted with me, but whatever it was must have been better than just standing around and doing nothing.

Placing my paper cup on top of the table I was standing next to, I started walking toward the door, hoping that someone would be able to tell me how to get to the clock tower. It’s been a long time since I last came here, and it wasn’t like we got the full tour of the entire estate. The areas we saw that one time we visited the asylum weren’t enough to give me the full feeling of this place. Now, as I stepped outside into the large hallway that was leading to two different sides, I wondered if I would ever be able to find it.

There had to be a staircase or something. Unless the entrance to the clock tower was from the outside.

A girl I saw a couple of times in town passed next to me, and I knew she was one of the people who often went out with Judah and Gabriel.

“Sorry,” I called out after her as she passed me. The moment she turned, a small smirk appeared on her face, because we both knew I shouldn’t be here. She wasn’t wearing a mask like the others, but I guessed that when you’re a close friend of the organizer you didn’t have to follow the rules. “Do you know how to get to the clock tower?”

Something flashed in her eyes the moment those words tumbled out of my mouth and the smirk she so proudly carried disappeared almost immediately as she slowly came closer to me.

“Danika, right?” she asked, looking me up and down from head to toe, measuring me, dissecting me piece by piece. Whatever it was that she saw satisfied her enough, because she decided to tell me where to find it. “You’re going to have to go outside the main entrance and then turn right. You’ll see the large mahogany doors there. Just go through them and down the hallway, and you’ll find the staircase leading up to the clock tower.”

Little did I know that the smile on her face didn’t mean what I thought it did, and the clock tower wasn’t just a place but the code word they all used. Little did I know that the night wouldn’t turn out to be the way I wanted it to be.