Page 119 of Phobia

Despite my anxiety over the evening, Cressida had a way of calming everything, even me. I hoped she would be able to do the same during my transformation. I cleared my throat and said, “Let’s go downstairs. I just want to review everything again. I don’t want any surprises. This is hard enough.”

She nodded and turned off the outside light. Then we headed for the basement, and what I knew would be a long night.

Chapter 8

SILAS

We were staring at the dark and grimy corner of the stone basement where I chain myself up and transform every full moon. A small window high on the wall allows the moonlight to shine in on me some nights. That night was one of them. My basement smelled a little mildewy and spider webs riddled the corners of the basement ceiling. I wasn’t proud of how I’d let it go, but it seemed pointless to spend any more time there than needed. I used it strictly for my transformations, and didn’t want to spend any time there during the rest of the month.

Cressida broke the silence. “Tell me again about this set up.”

I walked over to the chains, picked them up off the floor. I showed her how to lock the chains and how things went in the past. “These cuffs go on my wrists. This one goes around my neck, and the other two go around my ankles.” I walked closer to that wall and traced my fingers along the cracks. “The cracks in the stone wall where the chains are mounted, are from the force of me pulling against them. I need to reinforce this eventually, but they’ll hold tonight.

“Once I’m chained, the moonlight tonight will shine through the window, landing on my skin, intensifying the transformation. That’s when the pain really starts. I don’t want you to be alarmed, Cressida.” I turned to look at her. “It’s not a pretty site. It looks like I’m dying. The pain, my screams, the way my body changes and falls apart before it comes back together in a new form... it’s gruesome.” I looked down at the floor, ashamed.

Cressida walked over to me, grabbing my face in her hands, making me look at her. “Silas, it’s ok. I’m not afraid. I’ll hardly be looking at you since I will be focused on keeping you protected from whatever entities are trying to harm you. Look...” She grabbed my hand and led me to a spot she found. “You’ll be over there, in the chains, against the wall. I’m going to do a protective circle around you and then I’m going to stand over here.” She stood in place just short of the basement door and stairwell. “I’ll use this small table to set my crystals up, and my Grimoire, where I have the spells that I’ll need. I can see everything in this room from this spot. So don’t worry.”

I nodded in silence. Her voice brought a sense of calm again. I said, “Okay. We should get started, then.” I was still nervous, but not as much, and I knew that if we could survive the night, then we could survive anything.

Chapter 9

CRESSIDA

It took a lot for Silas to walk me through how his transformation would go. I was proud of him for it. He changed his clothes into a loose cloak. It looked like a patchwork of rags he had made himself. I understood he didn’t want to tear his nice clothes apart, but it was strange to see him dressed that way. He’s always well-groomed and put together.

I watched him from the corner of my eye as I set my table up. He arranged the chains over and over again before locking them. I could tell he was anxious.

I reached inside my brown leather handbag to grab my Grimoire and set it on the table. I needed to create what Silas needed?a guiding star to ground him, and a circle of protection to ward off evil spirits. He stopped fidgeting with the chains to watch me as I drew a star. Each point connected to the next in one continuous line. He was in the center. Reaching back in my bag, I fetched my crystals to harness energy and a large selection of candles. The candles, I would set at each of the five points, representing the elements of air, fire, water, earth, and spirit. As I placed a candle at each point and lit them, I could feel Silas staring at me. Around the star, I drew a circle of protection, with each point passing through the circle. I looked up at him, pausing when I reached the top point and asked, “Do you trust me?”

“I do.”

I stared into his eyes. They were full of something, worry maybe? Sadness? “I promise, I’ll protect you, Silas.”

“I trust you. I’m just trying to mentally prepare myself for... everything. It’s almost time.”

We could hear the sounds of the kids outside trick-or-treating, and it made us look up at the window. When I looked back at him, his shoulders fell. He reached for his locks and gave each one a pull to double check they were locked.

I stood and walked back over to the table to grab a wooden match and a bundle of sage. The burnt sage would clear the room of evil spirits and ward off new ones from entering the space. I struck the match, lit the sage, and used it to trace the outline of each window and door in the room before extinguishing it a small cauldron filled with sand. The scent filled the air and brought a little tranquility with it.

I heard Silas’ breathing pick up, which told me something was happening. I lit the lone candle on my table and placed each crystal, five of them, around the candle. I chose garnet for healing, agate for grounding and stability, chrysocolla for wisdom, communication, and a gentle power. Aquamarine for peace, and black tourmaline to shield our energy from the negative energy of any spirits. I placed the same five crystals around each point of the star, went back to the table.

Silas was holding his stomach and sweating when he looked at me through a grimace and said, “It’s starting.”

“I'm here. Just breathe,” I told him.

Quickly, I switched the lights off to work by candlelight. I could hear Silas grunting in the background. After dropping some frankincense, pine needles, cedar chips, and rosemary into a mortar, I ground them down a bit with a pestle. The scent filled the air. In a hurry, I sprinkled the mixture into a small cauldron and lit them, making a smoldering fire. Then, I recited a spell in Latin, “I light this fire to power our protection us from any and all negative forces.” Silas screamed, making me pause. He was changing. I continued, “I light this fire to show the most aligned path ahead...” another scream and I heard the sound of bones cracking. Silas was right, it was difficult to see him this way. Pushing forward, I yelled my incantations to drown out his screams. “I light this fire to shield us from all attempts to harm us. So may it be.” The fire in my cauldron was raging and the intermingling scent of the herbs and fire were strong.

I looked over at Silas. He was on the ground, writhing in pain. His body twisted in ways that I couldn’t fathom. I watched him change from the strong, handsome man that had made love to me, to a bloodied creature full of agony. Hair pushed through his skin everywhere. His nails grew five times larger and black. The cloak he was wearing snapped where he had tied it around his neck from his enlarged size. He was bloodied and his skin was splitting and reforming.

I turned back to my cauldron to focus on my spell, chanting it over and over. There were no signs of spirits or anything negative yet. I took another peek at Silas to see how he was doing.

“Cressida...” he cried out. “Look away. Please don’t look at me.”

“Ok, Silas. I won’t look. We’re protected. It’s ok.”

He screamed again and I could hear the chains rattle as he pulled them. More cracks formed in the wall, where the chains were bolted into them. Tears stung my eyes. I repeated the spell. When I got to the end, saying, “Keep us safe from any attempts to harm us...” I felt a breeze envelope me. I looked around, unable to see anything but followed my instincts. In a commanding voice, I called out, “I feel your presence, spirit! If you’re here to harm, I command you to flee. If you’re here for good, I command you to speak.” Suddenly, I felt a warm, comforting hand on my shoulder.

I had a hunch the spirits who haunted Silas never meant him harm. I believed they were his family watching over him, trying to comfort him, but he couldn’t see them or hear them clearly. I hadn’t told Silas because I couldn’t be certain, and I didn’t want to give him false hope. I aimed to put my hunch to the test and try to communicate with them. Moonlight shined on Silas through the window. He was almost fully turned.