Page 129 of Phobia

I couldn’t see if the paint was still the same, at least not from this distance, but a chill washed over me as I started walking down, keeping to the side of the road, because tonight definitely wasn’t the night I wanted to die.

At least not yet.

My hands shook at my sides the closer I got and the familiar scent of pine trees and something I couldn’t quite put my finger on trickled through my nostrils, pulling out every single memory I had of Winworth. It was insane, really, loving and hating this little town with the same ferocity.

It was unhealthy wanting to be here and wanting to be as far away as possible. I couldn’t quite understand why I felt so connected to this area, to this dark, dark ground, when there was nothing good for me here. There was no happiness, no love, nothing that would make me stay, yet the first place I wanted to go to after the incident was Winworth.

It was home, no matter how fucked up it was.

Even after all the bullying and miserable teenage years, I still wanted to come back. This town was a paradise for people like Judah Blackwood and the rest of the kids from the founding families, because they already had it all planned. They already had their entire future in front of them and they didn’t even have to move away from here.

We all knew that Judah would follow in the footsteps of his father, becoming the next senator, and the same went for the rest of them. Some of the families owned big companies, the other ones were involved in politics, and all of their children and their children’s children were secure for the rest of their lives. If I sounded bitter about it, it was only because my carefully planned life went up in flames, leaving me with resentment in my gut and a whole spectrum of other emotions I didn’t want to name.

A red Porsche flew past me, heading down the hill. It suddenly stopped not too far away from me, its loud engine mixing with the sound of the music coming from the asylum. I had no idea who drove what these days in Winworth, but whoever this was definitely didn’t belong to my social circles.

Wrapping my arms around me, I continued walking, hoping that this wouldn’t turn into the newest rendition ofThe Texas Chainsaw Massacre. When a familiar face popped up from the passenger’s side, I wished it was Leatherface rather than Gabriel Lacroix. Up until today, he hadn’t said more than a few words to me. I had tried not to pay too much attention to the boyish smile and the twinkle in his eye every time I saw him on the street or at school, and as he stood there next to his car, frowning at me, I wanted the ground to swallow me whole.

“You came,” he grumbled, obviously unhappy to see me here. Well, buddy, it wasn’t like I had anything else on my social calendar, and I was curious. “I didn’t think you would.”

“That makes two of us,” I replied, coming closer to the car. His baby blue eyes narrowed at me, and my entire body screamed at me to run, to get away from him, but I wasn’t going to run. I wasn’t going to give them that satisfaction.

If Judah invited me here to embarrass me or do something worse, well, he had another thing coming, because I knew how to fight, and he got a taste of who I was now earlier in the diner.

“Get in the car,” he said.

“Excuse me?”

“Get in the car, Danika.”

I shook my head. “No. I don’t know you.”

“You know me. Get in the car so that I can drive you home.”

“I’m not going home, Gabriel.”

“Danika, ple—”

“I was invited here, Gabriel,” I said, proud of the steadiness of my voice. “You were there. You heard it.”

“You’re smarter than this, Danika. Just get in the car and forget about this night. Forget about the invitation, about Judah, about any of this, and I’ll forget too.”

His voice, laced with desperation, raked on my nerves, and the stubbornness my mom always said I inherited from my father reared its ugly head, making me stand my ground.

“What, I’m not good enough for your company?” I seethed.

“Dan–”

“My blood is not blue enough for you people?” I was beyond caring and way too pissed to think about the words coming out of my mouth. Gabriel never made me feel lesser, unlike some of the other guys and girls from their social circle, but right now he made me feel like the lowest trash.

“That’s not what I meant, and you know it.”

“I don’t know shit, Gabriel,” I gritted out. “All I know is that I’m going to this party, and that’s it. Now if you’ll excuse me.” I walked by his car, looking straight at him. “I’ll see you down there.”

My name sounded like a warning on his lips, carrying on the wind, pushing me down toward the Morass Asylum. Heart beating furiously, palms sweating and my lips trembling, I kept walking even when the sound of Gabriel slamming the door of his Porsche harder than was necessary blasted through the air. I continued walking even when he passed next to me faster than he was driving before, leaving behind a gust of smoke sneaking into my lungs, making me cough momentarily.

“Asshole,” I grunted, trying to calm myself down.

He had some nerve telling me what I could and couldn’t do. Telling me I shouldn’t have come, when he knew how bad some of the things got when we were teenagers. I wished I could erase the memories, leaving me with a clean slate instead of this jaded heart that was stuck in a continuous loop of misery.