Page 5 of Persuaded

Sean meant it as a compliment, of course, and Joshua took it as such. But he found himself wanting to explain—wanting Sean to know that there was more to him than this . Or maybe it wasn’t Sean he wanted to know, maybe it was himself. Or maybe it was Finn.

But what else was he? A rootless teacher of music and wannabe professional who never made it—who never even tried, in the end.

“Listen,” Sean said as he got up to leave, “maybe we’ll see you guys at the Rock House tonight? My brother’s into music, so it definitely sounds like his kinda thing. But don’t tweet it or anything, okay?”

Joshua simply nodded, felt himself freeze like the proverbial deer in the headlights. Luckily Lexa and Ali squealed loud enough to drown out any need for a response.

And so he found himself counting down the hours until the evening, so preoccupied that he gave three people the wrong change and Dee peered over the pink rims of her glasses to ask whether he was unwell and needed to go home.

It would have made a good excuse to skip the Rock House, and the fact that he didn’t seize the chance only demonstrated the depths of his turmoil; he dreaded meeting Finn almost as much as he longed to see him again.

Either way, the encounter was inevitable and he figured it would probably be easier at the Rock House than somewhere with fewer places to hide.

So, as much as music bars weren’t his scene, Joshua resolved to go along and get the meeting over with.

Dee’s closed at half past five and Joshua headed home, showered, and spent longer than he could justify deciding what to wear.

He hesitated over his blue shirt—the one Liz once told him made his eyes “pop”—or just a casual T-shirt.

He didn’t want Finn to think he was trying to look attractive.

Not that he was that attractive. Eight long, difficult years had worn him down and there were shadows under his eyes and new lines at their corners.

He wished they were laughter lines, but he knew he just looked melancholy.

Disregarding the blue shirt, he opted for his favorite Led Zeppelin T-shirt instead. Old and faded, it probably made him feel better than it made him look. But that was okay; tonight he needed all the help he could get.

With butterflies in his stomach, Joshua headed out early.

He figured the bar would be quieter then and all he’d need to do was wait for Sean and Finn to show up, get the awkward meeting over with, and then fade into the crowd and away.

He drove there, even though he could walk, because he needed an excuse not to drink—being drunk would be a disaster tonight—and he’d just turned onto Main Street when he saw a commotion outside Dee’s.

Pulling over, he got out to find tables and chairs on the sidewalk, the coffee shop door standing wide open and water dripping down the two steps and out onto the street.

Dee leaned against one of the tables with her phone pressed to her ear, talking loudly about insurance. Poking his head inside he found Ali and Lexa dressed to kill and glowering, barefoot on the soggy floor as they hauled everything not fixed down up onto the counter or out the front door.

“What happened?” Joshua asked, looking around in dismay.

“The damn drain backed up,” Lexa growled. “And the dishwasher flooded all over the floor.”

Joshua winced, although it didn’t look too bad—not like a water pipe broke or anything. “You get the drain unblocked okay?”

“No, that’s our next fun job. Just our crappy luck.”

“I’m sure it’ll be okay. Looks like the floor will survive and if your mom is insured...” Lexa and Ali stared at him like he was the stupidest person on the planet. Maybe they had a point. “What?” he said, uncertain.

“I don’t care about the damn drain ,” Lexa snapped. “We’re stuck here, hauling this crap about, when we should be at the Rock House with Finn fucking Callaghan!”

“Language!” Dee hollered from outside.

Lexa glowered.

And Joshua saw his opportunity. “I don’t mind cleaning up,” he said, heart rate accelerating—partly in hope, partly at the audacity of his escape, and partly in perverse regret. Christ, he was confused.

Ali and Lexa stared at him. “Really?” Ali said. “You don’t mind?”

“Sure.” He stepped into the coffee shop. “I can get this cleaned up in a couple hours. It’s no problem.”

“Mom!” Lexa yelled. “Newt says he’ll clean up!”

Dee poked her head around the door. “What? No. Newt, you don’t need to—”

“It’s fine,” he said. “The Rock House isn’t really my thing anyway. I’m happy to mop up and unblock the drain. Really.”

“ Please , Mom...” Lexa begged. “I swear, we’ll get up early and help set up tomorrow.”

Dee looked uncertain.

“It’s not every day Hollywood comes to town,” Joshua reminded her, and he even managed a convincing smile. “I really don’t mind.”

It was enough; Dee relented. “But you girls both owe Newt a big favor. And don’t you forget it.”

They disappeared in a cloud of excitement and after another hour of cleaning and mopping, Joshua persuaded Dee to join them while he finished up and locked the coffee shop for the night.

Despite the cool air, he felt hot and sweaty by the time he finished unblocking the drain, so he grabbed a beer from the refrigerator and sat on the hood of his crappy car listening to the distant thump of music from the Rock House.

Was Finn there right now? What was he doing, what was he thinking?

Was he laughing, throwing back his head the way he used to when he really let go?

Was he singing—getting up alongside the band and grabbing the mic?

Perhaps he couldn’t do that sort of thing now that he was a semifamous actor?

Or perhaps fame gave him license to do more?

Joshua didn’t know; he didn’t know Finn anymore.

And that hurt a lot more than it should after eight years.

It occurred to him then that Finn might have been dreading this meeting too. Perhaps, like him, he’d wanted to get it over with tonight. Perhaps he was irritated that Joshua hadn’t shown up. Perhaps he was disappointed.

“Or perhaps he doesn’t even remember you.”

He said it out loud to make it sound more plausible, but deep down he knew it couldn’t be true. Those two months they’d been together, wrapped up entirely in each other, had been intense. Their connection had been profound and that wasn’t something you forgot.

Sitting in the dark, listening to the low beat from the Rock House and the distant wash of the ocean against the shore, Joshua sent a silent prayer into the night. He had no right to expect anything from Finn, but he let himself dream of this one thing.

Forgiveness. He prayed that they could meet as friends.

* * *

The next morning Joshua got up early, as usual, and headed down to the coffee shop. He flung open all the doors and windows to air out the lingering damp and set the tables down onto the almost-dry floor.

Lexa and Ali showed up later, hungover and brimful of talk about Finn Callaghan.

“Oh my God, Newt, he’s so beautiful ,” Ali sighed as she half-heartedly wiped down the counter.

“And funny,” Lexa added, almost grudgingly. “I mean, mostly you think actors are pretty dumb in real life, right? But he’s actually really sharp.”

“And he can sing.”

“Hell, yeah,” Lexa said, although her brow twitched into a frown. “Kylee got her claws into him real fast.”

Ali huffed in agreement and Joshua said, “Kylee Adams?” She owned the Rock House and probably had a good decade on Finn.

“Who else?” Lexa grumbled. “She was all over him like a rash.”

Glancing between them, Joshua sensed the ebb and flow of jealousy and tried not to add his own to the mix.

He may have had no one significant in his life since Finn, but he knew full well that Finn had earned a reputation with women.

It didn’t come as a surprise that he’d spent the evening flirting.

Besides, Joshua had had years to get used to the idea of Finn dating women.

Not long after he’d landed his role as a vampire hunter in High Stakes , Joshua had stumbled across a picture of him online: Finn with a blonde and beautiful girl on his arm, looking every inch the poster boy for the all-American guy.

He had no right to be upset. He’d been the one to end things between them. Finn owed him nothing. Still. Kylee Adams...?

“Anyway,” Lexa said, straightening up from the table. “The barbecue is definitely on and Sean said to invite you, too, Newt.”

He blinked at her. “Really?”

“Yeah, he said—Oh my God!”

Her hand flew to her mouth, and then she ran it hurriedly through her hair. “It’s them,” she hissed to Ali. “They’re coming in!”

Joshua had all of three seconds to brace himself before the door opened and Sean strode in, all long limbs and easy strides, and behind him—

God, but it was nothing like looking at pictures online. Joshua wasn’t even slightly prepared.

Finn filled the room, sucked all the air from Joshua’s lungs.

Maybe he took a step back, or maybe he froze in place, he didn’t know.

And he didn’t know where Finn was looking, whether he even saw him, because Joshua’s eyes were fixed on the floor, his head pounding with a thousand thoughts that all echoed to the same rhythm: it’s him, he’s here, it’s Finn.

It’s Finn.

“Hey,” Sean said from a million miles away. “You got a couple coffees for two hungover dudes?”

Lexa and Ali rushed to serve them, darting behind the counter and leaving Joshua adrift in the middle of the coffee shop.

He couldn’t move, didn’t know what to do, just stood there clutching the rag he’d been using to wipe down the tables.

All he could think about was the last time they’d been in the same room together, that terrible last day at his house when Finn had stormed and raged with tears spilling down his face.

This is bullshit, Josh! None of it matters. Just—please, okay? Don’t do this. I’m begging you, man. Don’t. Please...

“Hey, Joshua,” Sean said, relentlessly friendly. “Sorry you couldn’t make it last night.” He glanced around the coffee shop. “How’s the dishwasher?”

Joshua made himself look at Sean and not the man standing rigidly behind him, although he could feel Finn’s tension pulsing towards him. “It’s fine,” he managed to say. “All cleaned up.”

“Oh, hey,” Sean said, like he’d forgotten. “This is my brother, Finn.” He turned and gestured. “Finn, Joshua Newton. Joshua, Finn Callaghan.”

A number of things happened all at once: Finn’s eyes touched his for half a heartbeat, Joshua jerked his head in something like a nod, his mouth sandpaper dry, and Finn said, “Sean, I’ll see you in the car.”

And then he left, disappeared out the door, leaving Sean looking awkward. “Ah,” he said, scratching a cheek. “Sorry about that, he’s not normally such a jerk. But I guess he’s hungover and jet-lagged...”

Joshua tried to smile, afraid it looked more like a rictus, and edged his way behind the counter. His legs felt weak. He needed to sit down.

Meanwhile, Lexa and Ali were taking customer service to the next level and heading out after Finn, carrying both coffees to the car.

Sean seemed resigned, rather than surprised, and didn’t stop them.

But as he followed he glanced over his shoulder at Joshua.

“Hope we’ll see you on Saturday? Barbecue at the house—if that’s okay with you? ”

He muttered, “Of course,” and Sean smiled and then the door closed and Joshua sank boneless against the counter.

It was over. He’d done it. He’d seen Finn again, heard him speak, looked him in the eye. And that had to be the worst of it, right?

Only maybe not, because one thing had been crystal clear: Finn Callaghan hadn’t forgotten and he most certainly hadn’t forgiven.